In order for children to prosper more and more ...
"He must increase, but I must decrease." (John 3:30)
The valuable lesson that the Holy Spirit is teaching my wife and me these days is that "children should prosper more and more, and parents should decrease more and more." The Holy Spirit has been teaching this lesson to both my wife and me, and the foundation for this is found in John 3:30. John the Baptist said that Jesus must increase, and he himself must decrease. The Holy Spirit has reminded me of this word of God and led me to reflect on it, prompting a conversation with my wife. The key point of our conversation was that, as parents of our beloved children—Dillon, Yeri, and Karis—we must decrease our role in their lives as we nurture them. To apply this more concretely, we must intervene less in the lives of our beloved children. This means we must allow Dillon, Yeri, and Karis to think, pray, and make decisions before God on their own. It means that until they come to us with questions or seek help, our role is to pray for them behind the scenes, viewing them with eyes of faith, not to contact them and tell them how to live their lives. Our role is to quietly watch them think, struggle, and make decisions, trusting in their process. However, if we do not trust God and instead keep worrying about our children because of our own weaknesses and lack of faith, we will struggle to resist the impulse to intervene in their lives. If this happens, we will keep contacting them and nagging them, transferring our own worries and anxieties to them, which will cause them to be concerned about us and worried about our feelings. This kind of parent-child relationship is not healthy. It only harms the children and does not help their growth at all. Therefore, my wife and I have committed to applying the lesson from John 3:30 that the Holy Spirit reminded us of to our parenting: we must decrease. In doing so, we believe that the Lord, who loves our children much more than we do, will take care of them and help them prosper and grow.
[The photo below is from yesterday, Saturday, when I went to my beloved daughter Yeri's apartment to help move her belongings. Yeri packed her things in her room and kitchen, and after she was done, her boyfriend Chris helped her with the packing. Then, Chris carried the things to the front of the apartment, where I was waiting. I took the items from Chris and moved them to the car parked outside the apartment. My role was to carry the things from the apartment to the car. Haha. That was about it! Hehe. However, when I sent a picture of myself moving the items to my beloved wife, she sent me a picture of herself running or hiking on a mountain, something she loves. Hahahaha. I felt like I was Mr. Mom, and my wife, who used to be the loving mother to our daughter, had become a neglecting mom, leaving me to handle things my way. Hahahahah.]
