Is space essential?

In a marriage relationship, couples need to give each other space so that the Lord can work in their hearts and lives (something I thought was important in my conversation with my wife tonight).

"We should respect all people.  We may not respect them for who they are now, but we should respect them for their potential to change through the blood of the Lamb and the renewing power of the Holy Spirit" (A. W. Tozer).

People cannot see the "potential to change" unless they themselves are changing.  The reason we want the other person to change and think, "Why doesn't that person change?" is because we ourselves are not changing.

A couple must be able to see the "potential for change" in each other with faith. In order to do so, I must first continue to change in my relationship with the Lord.  In the midst of this, I must see my beloved spouse from the perspective of faith that trusts in the Lord, and quietly and patiently watch with the eyes of faith how the Lord changes my spouse in that "space."

​ So when I talk to my wife, I tell her that we need to avoid saying things like, "You always do that," or, "You never do that," because the words "always" and "never" lock the other person into our preconceptions and blind them to the "potential for change."

If a couple lives a life centered on the Lord, they will trust in the Lord and look to each other, pray, expect, and wait with faith that the Lord is changing their spouse just as He is changing them, and that He will continue to change them in the future.