Our marriage that the Lord is establishing

Saturday Morning, February 10, 2024.

Yesterday, Friday afternoon, while driving to have dinner with my beloved wife, we were having a conversation when she mentioned that she would be going rock climbing with some people on Saturday, a bit far from home.  So, I asked her, "Who are you going with?" and followed up with, "Are there men going as well?" [The reason I asked her this was because, on a previous occasion, she had gone on a long hiking trip with two brothers in Christ (men) for an extended period of time].  Her response wasn’t entirely clear(?), but I didn’t dwell on it and simply moved on to another topic.  However, before going to sleep last night, my beloved wife brought up the question, seemingly feeling a bit uncomfortable about it.  She asked me why I had asked her, "Are you going with men?"  She then told me that the two men were going rock climbing and that she had asked them if she could join (The previous hiking trip was also because my wife had asked those two men if she could go along with them).  I believe that when my wife does activities like hiking or rock climbing, there are limits when she’s with other women, and it seems more fitting for her adventurous spirit and passion to be with men.  Therefore, I understand that she’s going rock climbing with the two men this time as well.  However, I still asked her yesterday if she was going only with men.  I think the reason I asked this is because, as much as I trust my wife, I’m not completely unconcerned about the situation.  As her husband, I believe it’s perfectly normal for me to feel a little concerned (I can imagine how much my wife must have been worried when I met with the sisters one-on-one during my time in Korea doing internet ministry).  Even so, she trusted me.  We talked about this before going to sleep last night.

This morning, I woke up around 3 AM, and by nearly 5 AM (since I thought my wife was waking up at 5 AM to go rock climbing), I sent her a text message: "Good morning, Jane.  Have a safe and enjoyable trip.  I trust our God and I trust you."  Later, after finishing the early morning prayer meeting and coming into the pastor's office, she checked her messages and saw that I had written, "Loved" followed by "Thank you," with a love emoji. Haha.  Then, just a little while ago, I saw her Instagram story and noticed that she had posted the text in the photo below:

"Balance of freedom & home.

Find a partner who can give you the space you need to be your own person. It is healthy to have different interests, likes and dislikes. You do not need to become the same person to prove your love to each other. You know you are both supporting each other's happiness when you each feel like you can be your truest self. Remember, trust blossoms in the absence of control and vibrant relationships should feel like a balance of freedom and home. ~ YP"

As I read the post my wife shared on Instagram, I was able to catch a glimpse of how the Lord is building our marriage.  I realized that my wife is now thinking more like I do, more than before.  I believe that in a marriage, there must be healthy boundaries.  I also believe that within the marriage, we should provide space for each other to live our individual lives.  While my wife and I share many of the same interests, there are also differences, and I believe we should respect and support each other in those areas.  I think this is what makes a healthy marriage, and I was able to confirm, through the post below, that my wife is now thinking more like I do than before.  As a husband, I strive to actively support my beloved wife by respecting her gifts, talents, interests, passions, and more.  I see this as a joyful responsibility as her husband. I pray that she will continue to grow and that the Lord will build her up.  Just as the post below says, "Trust develops in the absence of control," I also believe this.  I trust that the Lord is the one who is ultimately in control of both my wife and me, as well as our marriage.  That is why, just as I said in the text to my wife this morning, "I trust our God and I trust you" (my precious and beloved wife, Jane).