The Lord-centered couple
Yesterday, on Sunday, my wife came into the pastor’s office and, using her new phone (since her old one wasn’t in good condition, she ended up using an old phone that our nephew had been using), she held it up close to my face and took three pictures of us together. Haha. As I upload these pictures here, I want to take a moment to briefly reflect and write down some thoughts about us as a couple.
1. A couple is established under the sovereignty of God the Father, who joins one man and one woman together. Therefore, as a married couple, we must live together for a lifetime, firmly believing and trusting that God has sovereignly united us. When we hold onto this truth, I believe we can overcome any marital challenges that come our way.
2. A couple must submit to the authority of Jesus Christ, the Son of God. In particular, a husband and wife must love God with all their heart, soul, and mind, and with that love of God, they must love one another as they love themselves—just as Jesus’ twofold commanded (Matthew 22:37, 39).
3. Therefore, a married couple must experience the presence of the Holy Spirit. Since the Holy Spirit bears the fruit of love, when a husband and wife love each other with God's love, they can taste the joy and peace of heaven and, in part, experience heavenly living within their home here on earth.
4. The husband’s responsibility and role in marriage are of great importance. First and foremost, as husbands, we must draw closer to the Lord, enjoy an intimate relationship with Him, and love our wives with the grace and love He provides. Biblically speaking, husbands must come to understand the depth, width, greatness, and abundance of Christ’s love for us (the Church) (Ephesians 3:18-19). Therefore, just as Christ loves the Church, we too must love our wives in the same way (5:25).
5. A wife who experiences the love of Christ through her husband should submit to her husband in everything, just as the Church submits to Christ (v. 24). Furthermore, wives are called not merely to love their husbands but to respect them (v. 33). It is crucial to avoid words or non-verbal actions that belittle or disregard one’s husband.
6. Another key principle in marriage is that a husband must give his wife trust by faith, just as he trusts in the Lord, and the wife must trust her husband because she trusts in the Lord. The foundation of trust in marriage must be centered on the Lord. This means that unless a husband and wife trust in the Lord first, they cannot truly trust each other. Trust in a spouse does not come first—trust in the Lord must come first. In other words, as a husband and wife grow in their faith and trust in the Lord, their trust in each other will naturally grow as well.
7. Intimacy with the Lord and growth in faith are directly connected to intimacy and growth in marriage. This means that as a husband deepens his intimate relationship with the Lord and grows in faith, he will nurture his wife in such a way that she, too, draws closer to the Lord and grows in faith. As a result, their marital relationship will inevitably grow stronger and more intimate in the Lord.
8. If a married couple does not prioritize the Lord in their relationship but instead places their marriage as the highest priority while pursuing intimacy in love, they will inevitably become increasingly dissatisfied with each other. This dissatisfaction will lead to endless conflicts and disputes. In short, if a couple does not put the Lord first but instead prioritizes their love relationship above Him, the result will be dissatisfaction, conflict, arguments, and emotional wounds.
9. When marital conflicts and disputes worsen, deep wounds can accumulate, gradually leading the relationship to a point where divorce may seem like the only option. However, if a couple recognizes their sin of not prioritizing the Lord and repents under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, their marital crisis can become a turning point for restoration. By reestablishing the foundation and core of their marriage in the Lord, they can develop the Lord-centered marriage. It is essential to seek and commit to this grace, trusting that, by God’s grace, true restoration is fully possible.
10. Our purpose as a married couple is to love each other with the love of Jesus Christ and to reflect Christ in our lives, becoming witnesses of Him as husband and wife. We desire to be a couple that demonstrates faith in Jesus, loves one another with His love, and grows to resemble Him. Even in the midst of conflicts and struggles, we want to grow as the Lord-centered couple by God’s grace, ultimately bringing glory to Him.