A devout family
“He and all his family were devout and God-fearing; he gave generously to those in need and prayed to God regularly.” (Acts 10:2)
Here are ten secrets to a happy family, as introduced by Dr. H. L. Mencken:
1. Set goals for married life: Whether preparing for marriage or after getting married, set goals for the kind of family you want to have and steadily move toward that goal. Without a goal, there is no direction.
2. Keep your eyes wide open before marriage and half-closed after: After marriage, pretend not to notice your family’s faults. Who is without flaws? "Do not judge, or you too will be judged" (Matthew 7:1).
3. Comparing to others leads to misery, and secrets lead to tragedy: Unknowingly, we compare our loved ones to others. This can lead to pride or despair. Secrets always build walls.
4. Do not go to bed angry: This is the same meaning as Paul’s teaching, "Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry."
5. Don’t just face each other, but look in the same direction: You should seek and try to live according to God’s will together. If you only follow one side’s opinion, the one being pulled will harbor resentment.
6. Be united in your use of money: It’s wise to agree on how to spend money, excluding small change.
7. 30 seconds of words can lead to 30 years in the heart: Unkind words can cause deep wounds. Words should always be positive.
8. Maintain joy in the bedroom: "Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame" (Genesis 2:25). This was the first couple in the Garden of Eden.
9. Encourage each other and bring joy: This is the magic of love. There is hardly any ministry more important than encouragement.
10. Open and close the day with prayer: This is advice from someone who knows life. If you understand and keep this secret well, while there may be no perfect happiness on earth, you can live nearly happily.
Among these ten ways to build a happy family, three particular ones stand out to me: setting goals in marriage, starting and ending the day with prayer, and remembering that "30 seconds of words can lead to 30 years in the heart."
Today, I would like to reflect on Acts 10:2 and focus on how, in order to have a happy family, our family must first become a devout family. Through the example of Cornelius and his family, I want to share three lessons on how we can build a devout family. I hope that by applying these three lessons, our families will become devouted in God's eyes and happy in the eyes of our neighbors.
First, a devout family fears God.
Look at the first part of Acts 10:2: "He was a devout man who feared God with all his household …." The fact that Cornelius, as the head of his household, was devout and "feared God with all his household" teaches us an important lesson. This lesson is that, as husbands and fathers in our homes, we men must take the lead in fearing God. So, what does it mean to fear God? It means to hate evil. Proverbs 8:13 says, "The fear of the Lord is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech." The Bible tells us that God hates pride, arrogance, evil deeds, and perverse speech. Therefore, those who fear God should also hate these things that God despises. Additionally, if fearing God means hating evil, then conversely, we can say that fearing God means loving what is good. In other words, fearing God is loving what is good. We are to hate evil and love what is good (Romans 12:9). We are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works (Ephesians 2:10). The reason God has made us new is "to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Therefore, we should not grow weary in doing good (Galatians 6:9), for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
A devout family is a Christ-centered family that fears God. A family that fears God is one that hates evil, loves good, and practices goodness. We must diligently pursue doing good without becoming discouraged.
Second, a devout family is one that gives generously.
Look at the middle part of Acts 10:2: "… he gave generously to those in need ...." Cornelius and his family showed us the true nature of godliness, which involves fearing God above and loving people around us. True devotion is like the two sides of a coin: the front side is loving God, and the back side is serving others. What does true devotion look like? James 1:27 says, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." True, pure religion before God is looking after orphans and widows in their distress, and guarding oneself from being corrupted by the world. Cornelius was a man of true devotion. He feared God and generously gave to those in need, which became known throughout "the entire Jewish nation," and he was praised for it (Acts 10:22).
We, too, must strive to give. Not only should we care for our own families, but as the family of God, the church, we must also serve others and especially care for the marginalized in society. This is true devotion in God’s eyes.
Third and last, a devout family is one that prays to God always.
Look at the latter part of Acts 10:2: "... he prayed to God regularly." Cornelius followed the Jewish custom of praying regularly. The Jewish prayer customs included praying twice a day (at 9 a.m. and 3 p.m.) or three times a day (at 9 a.m., 12 p.m., and 3 p.m.). In other words, Cornelius maintained a regular prayer life. What is remarkable is that Cornelius’ prayers and acts of charity were remembered before God and reached His presence. In verse 4, it says: "... Your prayers and gifts to the poor have come up as a memorial offering before God." Here, we can see the connection between prayer and charity. This shows that when prayer is based on good deeds, it becomes the right kind of prayer.
Those who fear God are those who pray. We must strive to maintain a regular prayer life. Furthermore, we should offer living prayers to God. In our prayers, we must fear God above, and, in our actions, we must love our neighbors by dedicating ourselves to acts of charity. Our prayer life must be accompanied by good deeds.
As we approach the month of May, the month dedicated to families, I have reflected on the devout family of Cornelius as described in the Bible. I pray that the Lord will establish our families to be devout families, just like the family of Cornelius. May our homes be ones that fear God, love our neighbors, and practice charity, and may they be homes of prayer. I pray that the Lord will build our families to be centered on Him, bringing the fragrance of Jesus to this world.
Dreaming of the devout family that the Lord establishes,
James Kim
(May 6, 2011, reflecting on the physical family while thinking about the church, God's family)