My great mistake
July 21, 2024, Sunday morning.
Today, I have to give my sixth sermon under the title "Husbands, Love Your Wives" ["Husbands, Love Your Wives and Do Not Be Harsh with Them" (Colossians 3:19)]. But I feel a pang of conscience. The reason is that, last Monday, while driving to the funeral service for my beloved cousin, Christie, I remembered a conversation I had with my beloved daughter Yeri in the car. At that time, I asked Yeri, "If you have any bitterness or resentment toward me, please let me know." I didn’t plan to ask her this question, but my beloved son Dillon had already told me and my wife, "I don’t have bitterness toward you guys" (though as parents, we don’t deserve such grace, Dillon showed us grace). And my beloved youngest daughter, Karis, also responded during Mother’s Day dinner with my wife, when I asked her the same thing, "If you have any bitterness or resentment toward me, please let me know." She didn’t seem to have anything in particular to say, so I thought I would only need to ask Yeri. But Yeri honestly told me that she had some bitterness, not just toward me but probably toward my wife as well. I was thankful to Yeri for her honesty. So, I apologized to Yeri, saying, "I’m sorry." But what shocked me wasn’t that she had bitterness toward us (her parents), but the reason she explained why she had that bitterness. According to her, she didn’t like it when mom and dad fought and then each of us separately spoke negatively about the other to her. 😢 Hearing this, I seriously realized that I had made a big mistake. Why did I, after arguing with my wife in the past, later speak negatively about her to Yeri...? I felt like I had acted foolishly. 😞 I foolishly involved my children in our marital disputes. This is where I went terribly wrong. What I had always believed and emphasized was that we should never involve third parties, such as our children or our parents or in-laws, in marital conflicts, but after a fight with my wife, I ended up involving Dillon, Yeri, and Karis in our relationship. 😭😭 I hadn’t realized this until last Monday when, in the car, Yeri openly shared why she had bitterness toward me and my wife in the past. That’s when I became aware of it. 😢 Am I really this foolish...? I feel so frustrated. So, after hearing Yeri’s words, I was somewhat shocked, but I’m thankful that Yeri was honest with me, as it helped me recognize my great mistake, even if just a little. I apologized to her once again. In response, Yeri said that she no longer feels that way, even though she did in the past. She mentioned that after talking with her friends, she had heard a lot about conflicts and arguments in their parents' marriages. Whether it was because Yeri had matured or because of both factors, she told me that she no longer has bitterness toward me and my wife. Is this not grace that I, as a father, receive through my children? I am grateful.