Importance of Being

“Surely you heard of him and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus.  You were

taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its

deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be

like God in true righteousness and holiness” (Ephesians 4:21-24).

The first thing that men and women contemplating marriage should do is cultivate their own being.  Only then can they truly see the essence of the other person, not just their outward actions but their very being (e.g., their humanity).  Cultivating one's own being is something that should be done continuously even after marriage.  Before marriage, when conflicts are scarce, the true nature of each other's being may be somewhat concealed.  However, as couples live together and encounter numerous conflicts, the hidden aspects of each other gradually become exposed.  It is through this process that we can better see each other's being.  Focusing on preparing for marriage by striving to resemble each other in humanity and in the likeness of Jesus, and then living out married life with a focus on the presence of one another, we can witness, through God's grace, how sinners can navigate married life.  Our being as Christians cannot be separated from the love of God.  It is only when we practice the commandments of Jesus, such as the love of God and of neighbor, as an expression of our being of love, that we can truly experience joy and happiness.  However, all superficial actions arising from a deficient being are meaningless and only shake the foundation of marriage.  We need to seriously acknowledge the importance of being.  Just as I find my being in the presence of God and strive to resemble Him, I must also treat my spouse in marriage as God treats me, learning from Him as we navigate the journey of married life.