Husband’s sin
"to bring Queen Vashti before the king with her royal crown in order to display her beauty
to the people and the princes, for she was beautiful" (Esther 1:11).
We have entered an era where we cannot deny the falling authority of husbands. When considering the underlying causes, I think there are two main factors. Firstly, it is feminism. While it may seem and indeed be true that women's rights have been restored on the surface, I believe that fundamentally, the restoration of women's rights, due to its deviation from biblical principles, has become the "medicine" for the husband's declining authority, which is the "disease". Secondly, I think the husband's irresponsibility is the cause of the declining authority of husbands. I believe this is because our husbands, as fathers and heads of households, fail to take proper responsibility. Especially when they cannot bear the economic responsibilities, it seems that the authority of husbands is declining. As a result of this declining authority of husbands, the upcoming phenomenon is husband authoritarianism. Because they cannot handle the biblical authority that God has given them, they end up abusing it and ultimately transform into authoritarian husbands. Such authoritarian husbands commit sins against their wives. Today, I would like to think about this based on the Book of Esther chapter 1, focusing on the three sins committed by King Ahasuerus of Persia (modern-day "Iran") against his wife, Queen Vashti.
First, King Ahasuerus did not hold his wife in high regard.
In Esther 1:1-9, we see three banquets. The first banquet, lasting for 180 days (about 6 months), was hosted by King Ahasuerus for all his princes and attendants (v. 3). Its purpose was to display the splendor and majesty of his magnificent kingdom (v. 4). The second banquet, lasting for seven days, was hosted by King Ahasuerus for the people of Susa, both great and small (v. 5). In contrast to these two banquets, the author of Esther describes the banquet hosted by Queen Vashti in a single verse (v. 9). This sharp contrast makes the banquet of the queen appear modest. While the king, in hosting two banquets, sought to display the grandeur and majesty of his magnificent kingdom that extended from India to Ethiopia (v. 1), he only later hosted a banquet to showcase his wife (v. 11). Particularly, in the second banquet, he invited people from the greatest to the least and allowed them to do as they pleased (v. 8), generously providing for the feast according to his great wealth (v. 7). However, the Bible remains silent on what he did for his own wife. King Ahasuerus gave his wife, Queen Vashti, a feeling of inferiority compared to the people from the least to the greatest. If King Ahasuerus had obeyed the biblical command to love his wife as his own body (Eph. 5:28), he would not have made his wife, Queen Vashti, feel so diminished.
Like King Ahasuerus, I believe our husbands commit the sin of not esteeming our wives highly. Our husbands may argue otherwise, but from the perspective of the wife, they may be giving off such a feeling. Even if it's not the truth, when a wife's value is reflected so meagerly, she cannot feel loved by her husband.
Secondly, King Ahasuerus became angry with his wife.
The sin of anger, how many times do our husbands commit this sin against their wives? In Esther 1:10-12, during the second banquet, when King Ahasuerus was merry with wine, he summoned Queen Vashti through the seven eunuchs. The reason was to display her beauty to the people. However, Queen Vashti refused to come at the king's command, which took him by surprise (v. 12). At this, King Ahasuerus became very angry and his anger burned within him (v. 12). The question we ask here is whether King Ahasuerus' anger was justified. Although it was expected for the wife to submit to her husband, Queen Vashti disobeyed the king's command. According to the Jewish historian Josephus, Queen Vashti followed the laws of Persia at the time. In other words, at that time, it was forbidden for royal women to show their faces in public gatherings. So, while Queen Vashti disobeyed the king's command, she could argue that she followed the country's law. By keeping this law, she did not submit to King Ahasuerus' authority as her husband. However, King Ahasuerus was extremely angry. I believe the reason was wounded pride. As a king who ruled 127 provinces, he couldn't control one wife. His pride must have been severely crushed. Allowing everyone else to do as they pleased but not allowing his wife, Queen Vashti, showed that King Ahasuerus sought to dominate Queen Vashti through authoritarianism.
Often, our husbands get angry with their wives, only to later realize that the wife was right and the husband was wrong. Queen Vashti, who did not violate the Persian law for her husband, showed the true face of lawfulness to King Ahasuerus and his people. However, the husband saw his wife's actions as disobedience. When his majesty and authority faltered in public, he must have been incredibly wounded, unable to bear the anger towards his wife.
Third and last, King Ahasuerus forsook his wife.
The angered King Ahasuerus, carefully observing the demeanor of those seated in the highest position in the kingdom (v. 14), heeded the advice of a man named Memucan (v. 16). Clearly, King Ahasuerus must have known of his anger towards Queen Vashti (given his observant nature) and, being an ambitious man in the highest position in the kingdom, he would never have spoken favorably of an angry king. In the end, Memucan not only accused Queen Vashti of disobedience, but also stated that she had done wrong not only to the king, but also to all the officials and peoples of the provinces (v. 16). Furthermore, he asserted that all wives would now look down on their husbands due to the disobedience of the queen (v. 17), ultimately suggesting, let the king give her royal position to another who is better than she (v. 19) to King Ahasuerus. Indeed, these words could not help but prick the ears of an enraged king. Ahasuerus, whose judgment had been clouded by anger, obediently followed Memucan's counsel. And in the end, he divorced his wife, all because she had been disobedient by following the laws of Persia and thus appeared disobedient to him (resulting in Esther eventually becoming queen). He also issued a decree, stating that each man should be the ruler in his own house (v. 22). This act of issuing a decree, commanding husbands to rule in their own homes, while himself violating the principles and attempting to boast of his wife's beauty in public, is undoubtedly an astounding display of authoritarianism. How much, like King Ahasuerus, do our husbands commit sins against their wives?
A husband who esteems his wife, a husband who does not become angry with his wife, a husband who remains faithful to the vows made in marriage, such a husband is truly a biblical figure who establishes authority in the home. This kind of husband is enabled by God to set each household upon the cornerstone of Jesus Christ.
With gratitude to God who has paired me with the finest wife,
James Kim
(In love of Jesus, praying for the love of my wife)