Forgiving God

[Nehemiah 9:15b-17]

Can you forgive someone who killed your son? While reading Eugene Peterson's "A Long Obedience in the Same Direction," I contemplated the concept of "human relationships." In that passage, I found insight in David's behavior when he distanced himself from his son Absalom after the tragic incident where David's other son, Amnon, killed him. David never truly forgave Absalom, and even after allowing him to return to his city, he didn't seek him out or welcome him back. In other words, David kept Absalom at a distance. Absalom, the son who sought acceptance, personal forgiveness, and the embrace of his father, was refused genuine forgiveness by David. David's forgiveness was impersonal, and he rejected Absalom rather than embracing him. I shared this reflection with my siblings, and one of them responded: ‘Who could easily forgive and embrace someone who killed their son? It's challenging enough to forgive once, let alone follow the instruction to forgive not seven times, but seventy-seven times. Is it really possible to forgive someone who killed their son?’ Is forgiving the person who killed your son an impossible task?

Who is the most difficult person to forgive in this world? Many people, including us Christians, often say that certain individuals can never be forgiven. However, in my opinion, the most challenging person to forgive in this world is "myself." For instance, when I lived through about a year of torment, burdened by guilt, thinking, "My child Charis died because of my sin," I couldn't forgive myself. When we believe that someone we love died because of our own actions, we can't put that guilt into words. No comforting voice can be heard, only our own inner voice saying, "It's your fault..." That voice torments our hearts. Consequently, we begin a life sentence in an invisible prison. Walking a painful path without true inner freedom and peace because we can't forgive ourselves. What do you think?

In today's passage, Nehemiah 9:15b-17, God is referred to as the "God of forgiveness," or in other words, the "Forgiving God." Take a look at verse 17: "...but you are a forgiving God. …." Today, I would like to reflect on two things in the context of this verse: (1) Whom does God forgive? (2) Why does God forgive?

Firstly, whom does God forgive? God forgives us, who are proud.

What is pride? Thomas Aquinas said, ‘Pride is the root of all sin’ (Aquinas). All other sins stem directly from pride. Pride begets jealousy, anger, and greed. Pastor Dong-won Lee defines pride in three ways in his book ‘Acts of Repentance’:

Pride is an extremely self-centered sin.

A prime example of this is the Pharisees mentioned in the Bible. They were those who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and treated others with contempt (Lk. 18:9). This differs from healthy self-esteem discussed in psychology. Respecting and valuing oneself is not inherently bad. However, the Pharisees' extreme self-centered love bordered on pathological self-righteousness. Loving only oneself, believing oneself to be righteous, and thus being unable to love and despising others is pride.

Pride is the sin of building walls and barriers between oneself and one's neighbor.

In Luke 18:11, when we look at the Pharisee's prayer, he didn't even want to pray together with the tax collector; he separated himself to pray (in a distinct place). Moreover, in his prayer, he repeatedly emphasized that he was not like the tax collector, expressing contempt for the tax collector and displaying the root of pride, which was a deep-seated spiritual superiority within himself. Having an excessively aggressive and critical attitude towards others, failing to see the plank in one's own eye while noticing the speck in others', all of these behaviors are symptoms of pride and involve building walls in one's relationship with neighbors.

Pride is the sin of trying to deceive oneself even before God.

When we look at the Pharisee's prayer in Luke 18:11-12, the word "I" is repeated multiple times: “The Pharisee stood and was praying this to himself: 'God, I thank You that I am not like other people: swindlers, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I pay tithes of all that I get.'” nstead of genuinely praying to God, this is more about boasting and self-promotion. It's about presenting oneself in a self-aggrandizing manner before God, highlighting how exceptional and accomplished one is.

In today's passage, Nehemiah 9:15b-17, the Bibles talks about how the Israelites during the Exodus were prideful in the eyes of God. Surprisingly, in Nehemiah 9:10, it mentions the pride of Pharaoh and the Egyptians, which the people of Israel, God's chosen people, seemed to have learned from. Just as Pharaoh became prideful and hardened his heart, now it was the people of Israel who were prideful and hard-hearted. When did this happen? After God had divided the Red Sea, given the Law on Mount Sinai, provided manna from heaven and water from the rock, the Israelites became prideful. In other words, their hearts became haughty after their stomachs were satisfied. This brings to mind the book of Judges. When they were in need, they sought God, and when God raised up judges to deliver them, they became proud and acted sinfully. Isn't this a reflection of our own behavior? This pride of the Israelites during that time can be summarized in one phrase from today's passage: "stiff-necked." In English, it is written as "Stubborn" (NASB). Look at Nehemiah 9:16-17a: “But they, our forefathers, became arrogant and stiff-necked, and did not obey your commands. They refused to listen and failed to remember the miracles you performed among them. They became stiff-necked and in their rebellion appointed a leader in order to return to their slavery. ….” This phrase "stiff-necked" in the Hebrew carries the original meaning of rebelling against carrying a load, like oxen resisting carrying a burden. Think about how strong an ox is, and yet, consider the strength it takes for an ox to resist carrying a load. That is precisely what pride represents. Ultimately, because of this sin, the Israelites of the Exodus generation wandered in the wilderness for 40 years and faced their demise (Num. 14:33).

This "stiffed-necked" or "being proud" can be thought of more specifically in three aspects based on today's Scripture:

To be proud or to stiff-necked means to rebel, in other words, to refuse to listen.

Look at Nehemiah 9:16b: “… stiff-necked, and did not obey your commands” (Note: Numbers 14:22). During the time of the Exodus, the Israelites did not obey God's commandments. They refused to listen to God's words. In Numbers 15:31, it is written that they despised the word of the Lord. Pride closes our ears. It makes us unable to hear not only the voice of God but also the voices of our loving brothers and sisters (when a pastor is being proud, for instance). The reason is because in the ears of the proud, only self-centered voices, voices of boasting, and the voice of Satan can be heard. How frightening and alarming is that?

To be proud or stiff-necked means to forget, in other words, to refuse to remember.

Look at Nehemiah 9:17: “hey refused to listen and failed to remember the miracles you performed among them. ….” During the time of the Exodus, how many amazing wonders did God perform among the Israelites? Despite witnessing these astonishing supernatural acts of God, they refused to remember them. Isn't that astounding? How could they forget so quickly? The reason for quickly forgetting (refusing to remember) God's work on their behalf is to boast about their own actions rather than God's deeds. This applies within the church as well, where you find humble individuals who boast about God's work, and on the other hand, proud individuals who seek to elevate their own achievements. In Numbers 14:11, God says, "...How long will this people despise me? And how long will they not believe in me, in spite of all the signs that I have done among them?" Refusing to remember the wonders God has performed is equivalent to refusing to believe in God.

To be proud or stiff-necked means to desire to go back.

Look at Nehemiah 9:17 again: "... They became stiff-necked and in their rebellion appointed a leader in order to return to their slavery. ….” (Ref.: Num. 14:4). During the process of the Exodus, the Israelites even sought to appoint a leader to return to Egypt, where they had been slaves. Why did they do that? The primary reason was that among the twelve men sent to spy out the land of Canaan, all but Caleb and Joshua had given "a bad report" (Num. 13:32). Look at Numbers 13:32-33: “So they gave out to the sons of Israel a bad report of the land which they had spied out, saying, ‘The land through which we have gone, in spying it out, is a land that devours its inhabitants; and all the people whom we saw in it are men of great size. There also we saw the Nephilim (the sons of Anak are part of the Nephilim); and we became like grasshoppers in our own sight, and so we were in their sight.’” Therefore, upon hearing this bad report, the Israelites, instead of crying out in prayer, turned their lamentation into grumbling (14:1) and their grumbling turned into rebellion: “All the sons of Israel grumbled against Moses and Aaron; and the whole congregation said to them, ‘Would that we had died in the land of Egypt! Or would that we had died in this wilderness! Why is the LORD bringing us into this land, to fall by the sword? Our wives and our little ones will become plunder; would it not be better for us to return to Egypt?’” (vv. 2-3).

So what are the ultimate consequences of pride?

It leads to the wrath of God.

In His wrath, God disciplines the proud. One form of discipline is described in Psalms 78:33 – “So He brought their days to an end in futility And their years in sudden terror.”

It saddens God.

Look at Psalms 78:40 – “How often they rebelled against Him in the wilderness And grieved Him in the desert!”

It gives birth to the sin of rebellion (Num. 14:43, Ps. 78:17).

Proud individuals reject God's help and instead seek to return to their former way of life, relying on themselves. Therefore, the inability to receive God's assistance is the tragic outcome of pride. Eventually, God has no choice but to abandon such individuals (Lee).

Lastly, why does God forgive us, the proud? The reason is because our God is a forgiving God.

God cannot but forgive us because our God possesses the nature of forgiveness. Look at Nehemiah 9:17 – “… But you are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love. Therefore you did not desert them” (Ref.: Num. 14:19). God's forgiveness of sinners is rooted in His character (Spurgeon). I wholeheartedly agree with this statement. So, what is the nature of the forgiving God? Based on Nehemiah 9:17, we can consider three aspects:

God is gracious and merciful.

Why do we struggle to forgive each other? Why do we find it difficult to forgive? In short, it's because we often fall short of reflecting God's nature of grace and mercy. One pastor summarized the reason we struggle to forgive as follows: ‘It is because we either haven't received God's grace, have forgotten it, or haven't received it in a profound way’ (Internet). Joseph was able to forgive his brothers because God's grace was greater than the pain and suffering he endured. It was God's grace that covered the wounds and pain he received from his brothers, enabling him to forgive them. So why haven't we received or forgotten God's grace? The reason is pride. Our pride doesn't see the need for God's grace. The English word for compassion derives from the Latin "pati" and "cum," combining to mean "suffer with." Compassion calls us to go to where there is hurt, to enter places of pain, to share in brokenness, fear, confusion, and anguish together, as Henry Nouwen puts it. The Hebrew word for "compassion" is "rachamim," which means "the womb of Yahweh (God).’ Henry Nouwen says, ‘How deep, strong, and tender are the feelings that Jesus, in his compassion, moves in our Lord's womb, is a way to express what cannot be said about it’ (Nowen). Through His grace and compassion, God delights in forgiving us, the proud. Furthermore, the faithful and blessing God of forgiveness doesn't see our faults and rebellions (Num. 23:21). Our God eagerly waits to show us His grace because He regards us with compassion (Isa. 30:18).

God's forgiving nature is characterized by being slow to anger and abounding in mercy.

Look at Nehemiah 9:17 – “… But you are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love. …..” I see this aspect of God's nature in the story of Jonah as well. Jonah 4:2b reads, "For I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity." When the people of Nineveh repented of their sins, Jonah became very angry because he expected God to destroy them (Jonah 3:10). His anger was so intense that he said he would rather die (4:9). However, God spared the repentant people of Nineveh and showed them His rich mercy. What's even more astonishing to me is the scene where God deals with Jonah, His reluctant and angry servant. Despite Jonah's unrepentant and angry heart, God treats him with patience, richness, and tender love. God causes a plant to grow on the east side of the city to give Jonah shade and comfort as he watches to see what will happen to Nineveh (v. 6). Then, God sends a worm to chew the plant (v. 7) and prepares a scorching east wind to make Jonah's head hot (v. 8). These events show Jonah that he did not labor for the plant or provide for its growth, yet he cherished it. After that, God questions Jonah's indignation over the salvation of more than 120,000 souls in Nineveh (v. 11). The apostle Paul described God's slowness to anger as long-suffering or infinite patience (1 Tim. 1:16). David, in Psalms 63:3, celebrated God's abounding love, considering it better than his life. It's a reminder that God desires to forgive our prideful hearts with His slowness to anger and abounding mercy.

God's forgiving nature, which delights in forgiving our pride, does not abandon us.

Look at Nehemiah 9:17 – “… Therefore you did not desert them." A remarkable scene in Deuteronomy 31 illustrates this. Before the Israelites entered the Promised Land of Canaan, God, through Moses, assured them of His presence, saying, ‘The Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you’ (Deut. 31:6). However, in verse 16, God says to Moses that He knows the Israelites will forsake Him and break the covenant He made with them. In other words, God knew in advance that the Israelites would forsake Him and violate His promises and commandments. Yet, through Moses, God gave the promise that He would never leave nor forsake them. Can you imagine it? The Father who knew He would be forsaken by His children still declares through His promise that He will never leave nor forsake them.

Why does God not abandon us, the proud, and desire to forgive us? It is because God has loved us and desired salvation for us, even to the point of sacrificing His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, on the cross. God, despite knowing that He would forsake His only begotten Son, did not forsake us, the sinful and proud, but extended His grace to save us and be with us eternally. If we receive this great grace from God, how can we not forgive others, even our enemies?

I still remember when I was an elementary student that I watched the movie ‘The Atom Bomb of Love,’ which depicted the diary of Pastor Yang-won Son. I cried a lot. However, I learned about the martyrdom of his eldest and second sons through the book ‘My Father, Pastor Yang-won Son,’ written by his son. On October 19, 1948, amidst the turbulent atmosphere of the liberation upheaval, Yeosu became a stronghold of the rebel forces. The rebel forces used students with a tendency towards wrongdoing to identify and capture reactionaries, which included political figures, members of political parties, the wealthy, and Christians, and they mercilessly massacred them. On October 21, 1948, leftist students relentlessly beat Pastor Yang-won Son's two sons to the point of being covered in blood, calling them ‘Jesus followers.’ During the attempted execution, Pastor Son's eldest son said these words: ‘You can kill my flesh, but you cannot kill my soul! Now, if I die, I will go to heaven, but how will you ever pay for your sins? Repent and believe in Jesus even now.’ Then he said, ‘If you have any last words, speak them.’ At that time, the eldest son of Pastor Son, who was a choir singer, asked to sing one last hymn before they were executed. He chose the hymn "The Bright, Heavenly Way,” which goes: “The bright, heavenly way, before me, Lies clearly in my sight; And though sorrows sore beset me, And troubles black as night, At the splendor from the skies Ev-'ry darkling shadow flies, While we trust the grace of Jesus And look ever to that Light.” After singing the hymn, when the executioners pulled the trigger, Pastor Son's eldest son began to say, ‘Father, my soul..." but couldn't finish his sentence before he was martyred. Witnessing this, Pastor Son's second son, who was still alive, embraced his fallen brother and cried out, ‘Brother, Brother, I will follow you to heaven!’ He then rose up, carrying his brother, and shouted at the group of killers: ‘Why are you shedding innocent blood? Are you not afraid of God's judgment in heaven? Is this acceptable? Repent!’ He said, ‘My faith is no different from my brother's faith. Shoot me too. I will go to heaven with my brother. I don't want to live in this filthy world. Come, shoot me as you wish.’ At that moment, the murderers said, ‘Oh, he's even worse than his brother,’ ’Such a person cannot be spared,’ and attempted to kill him. Pastor Son's second son prayed, ‘Father God, please accept my soul. Forgive their sins. Bring them to repentance. And my mother and father...’ He couldn't finish his words before he was shot and killed. The one who shot them, known as Cheol-min Kang, fired two more shots during the confirmation execution. During the funeral for the two sons, Pastor Yang-won Son read nine thanksgiving prayers. Among them, the seventh thanksgiving prayer expressed gratitude to God for giving a heart of love to the enemies who had martyred his beloved sons, wanting to make him his son. It said: ‘Seventh, I thank God for giving a heart of love to the enemy who martyred my two beloved sons and for wanting to make him my son" (Dong-hee Son). Pastor Yang-won Son obeyed Jesus' command to love one's enemies, making his enemy into his adopted son by sharing the gospel. He truly exemplified the forgiving nature of God. I hope and pray that all of us may live a life that reflects this forgiving nature of God.