I want to hurt together and cry together.
Last Sunday (February 12, 2012) afternoon,
I visited our church beloved couple with my father who is a retired pastor and mother.
I did this because I thought that if I take my father to see the couple before my father
returning to the mission field again, the couple would be happy and be comforted.
When we went to the house of our beloved brother in Christ Kim,
Brother Kim was lying down, who was suffering so much from cancer.
But he got up from his bed, put on his clothes, came to the living room, sat down,
and worshiped God with his wife and their two children.
When my father sang the hymn he liked, Brother Kim said that he wanted to sing the hymn
“I’m Pressing on the Upward Way.”
So we repeated the song twice together and sang praises to God.
And my father read the words of Psalms 23. And we prayed for Brother Kim, whom we dearly love.
After the service we sang "Happy Birthday!" because that day was the birthday of Brother Kim’s wife.
Brother Kim and his wife were sitting facing each other.
Although it must be difficult for Brother Kim to sing the happy birthday song,
he sang it in a small voice to congratulate his wife on her birthday and she was looking at him.
When we parted, my father hugged Brother Kim. As his wife saw this, she smiled brightly, showing her teeth.
Her face was bright but she seemed very thin.
She came to church alone for the Wednesday night prayer meeting yesterday.
And she told us that according to his doctor, it seemed that he had reached a situation
where the doctor could no longer do anything.
Our only hope is the Lord!
When we left Brother Kim's house, we went to the nearby nursing home hotel
where Grandma Lim, the oldest in our church, resides.
When we went to the nursing home, she she sat down after eating in the cafeteria.
She was very glad when she saw us out the window.
When my parents took Grandma Lim to the room, sat down and talked,
and then we sang to God, “All the Way My Saviour Leads Me.”
Grandma Lim thinks that people come to the nursing home before they die.
Even at the age of 91, her mind is still intact. But it seems that many people younger than her have dementia.
Perhaps because of that kind of atmosphere, Grandma Lim seemed to be having a harder time.
I remember visiting a nursing home before our church two grandmothers before they passed away.
I still remember that we sang praises together, prayed, talked, laughed, etc
because those moments are very precious. I joked and laughed with Grandma Lim.
When we parted, Grandma Lim came out to say ‘Good bye’ to me.
As I went to the parking lot, I looked back again. I still remember the back figure of Grandma Lim walking.
When I was at Seohyeon Church in Korea, I came to like and fall in love with young generation Koreans.
But when I came back to the United States and started serving in our church,
I came to like and love our church grandfathers and grandmothers.
And I learned the death perspective through them.
God was teaching me the death perspective as I was serving them.
So, there were many times when I remembered the first baby Charis, who fell asleep in my arms.
At the same time, it often made me think of my own death as well as the death of my loved ones.
And I often thought of them who have already gone to heaven in my prayers.
God made me grow even a little bit through the pain and tears of death.
And even now, the Lord is making me to look to my loved ones who are in fear, pain and tears of death.
I want to hurt together and cry together.
And as I want to look to the Lord together and pray together, I want to rejoice in hope together.
Every day, every moment, I want to make beautiful memories in the Lord and keep them in my heart.
[February 16, 2012]