Diary of a Martyr's Wife

From the book "The Gates of Glory" (author: Elizabeth Elliot), this is the diary of Barbara Euderian,

the widow of five young North American missionary martyrs:

Tonight the captain told us they found four bodies in the river.

One was wearing a T-shirt and jeans.  Roger was the only person in such an outfit.

Two days ago, God gave me the words of Psalm 48:14 –

“For this God is our God for ever and ever; he will be our guide even to the end.”

When I heard the news of Roger's death, my heart was filled with hymns.

He was worthy to go to his homeland.  ‘Lord, help me to do both mother's and father's roles.

Help me to know 'Your training and instruction' (Eph. 6:4)...

Tonight Beth asked me to pray for her dad who went to heaven.

She asked me whether her dad can come down from heaven since she wanted to write a letter to him.

I said, 'He can't.  Daddy is with Jesus.'  Beth said, 'But Jesus can help him to come down.

God will hold Daddy's hand so that he doesn't slip.'

I wrote a letter to the missionary supporters, explaining the peace I enjoy.

I want to free myself from self-pity.  Self-pity is a Satan's tool that gnaws a life.

I am convinced that this is the perfect will of God. ....

I was challenged and still being challenged while reading this diary written by the wife of a martyred missionary.

I am praying continually with the thoughts of offering my beloved wife and three God-given children to the Lord in my heart.  This week, I heard the news that the second daughter of my friend pastor at a seminary, who was 10 years old, had suddenly died of an illness.  Maybe one day I too will have to let my wife and children go first too.

I don't want to love my wife and children more than the Lord.  I want to offer them to the Lord.

That’s why this missionary wife's diary is a great challenge for me.

I want myself, my wife, and my children to be worthy of going our heavenly home.

I don't want to fall into the "self-pity" that this missionary wife said in front of her beloved family members.

I want to see more glory.  My wife and three children are precious gifts that the Lord has given me by grace.

It is natural to offer to the Lord what is the Lord's.

Rather than self-pity, I want to be immersed in the glory of our heavenly home.

I hope that one day my wife will be able to write this kind of diary that this missionary wife wrote.

Of course, I myself must be prepared to die for the name of the Lord.

“However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and

complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me--the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace” (Acts 20:24).