Even at the crossroads of life and death
3 reasons to thank God
[Psalms 23]
It's a Sunday evening here now. Outside, I can hear my favorite sound of rain. Now, I am going to write this down again in the church’s pastoral room after declaring the words of Psalms 23 that I exhorted to the late brother in Christ Dok-Il An last Friday, during the Thanksgiving worship. Previously, I could not write down the meditation on this word of God except only the title of the meditating on His word, “Even at the crossroads of life and death, 3 reasons to thank God”. But now with this strength, I sit in front of the computer in the shepherd room alone and listen to the rain while writing down this meditation of the word of God. The reason I am doing this is, first, not to forget the three lessons that God gave me through the life and death of the late brother in Christ Dok-Il An, second, to commemorate him, and last, I want to share it with you.
Last Friday, I said to the daughter of the late brother in Christ Dok-Il An through KakaoTalk, ‘Pastor, can you come to the hospital? I don’t think my dad will not be here for long.’ After receiving this message, I hurriedly went to the hospital where brother Ah was hospitalized. Brother An, who was in the intensive care unit on the second floor, moved to the comfort care (hospice) on the first floor and was lying on a bed in the hospital room. We were in the hospital room with Mrs. An, his daughter, and his younger sister who came in a hurry from Korea, and I approached the bed with brother in Christ Dok-Il An who was lying and praised God. Even then, brother An was very conscious, so he understood everything I said and nodded his head. So, while I was praising God, I read Psalms 23 to him and gave him three words of exhortation.
First, I exhorted brother An to confess to God, “my cup overflows.”
Look at Psalms 23:5 – “You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.” I encouraged brother An, who was lying on the bed of the hospice ward, to look back on his seven or eighty years of his life. Although he was in pain while wearing a respirator on his face and injecting various medications, I encouraged him to look back on his life and think about the abundant grace that God has bestowed upon him. In the midst of this, I prayed for the grace to overflow in his heart through the great and abundant grace that God has given him. Therefore, like the psalmist David, I prayed that brother An would also confess, “my cup overflows” (v. 5).
Second, I exhorted brother An to confess to God, “I shall not be in want.”
Look at Psalms 23:1 – “The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.” I told brother An that in the original Hebrew word for Psalms 23:1 is ‘I shall not be in want because the Lord is my shepherd.’ Then, I shared with brother An that I had delivered this message of Psalms 23 to the last sister in Christ Jin Young Park’s older sister, younger brother and sister Jong-mi Lee when I went to Korea for a sabbatical in June of this year and went to a charnel house with them where the late sister Jin Young Park's ashes was laid to rest. How can we confess, “I shall not be in want,” while worshiping God after letting go of a loved one. The reason is because the Lord is our shepherd. The lesson I learned this time through the late brother Dok-Il An was that in the 2nd verse of the Korea hymn “All the Way My Saviour Leads Me” is “Gives me grace for every trial.” Truly, since our God gave brother An sufficient grace even when he was in trouble, which I got a glimpse of that grace, I also confessed “I shall not be in want” like the psalmist David. I hoped and prayed that brother An and I can confessed that the reason is because ‘The Lord is my shepherd’. In particular, since only the Lord is our satisfaction, I hoped and prayed that we, like the apostle Paul, would learn the secret of contentment (Phil. 4:11-12) and confess, “I shall not be in want” in any situation.
Third and last, I exhorted brother An to confess to God, “I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”
Look at Psalms 23:6 – “Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.” I exhorted and encouraged brother An, who was lying in the hospice room, to look only at the Lord, who is our hope. I exhorted him to look only at the eternal kingdom of heaven, where there is no more pain. So, I read to him the Bible Psalms 27:4 based on the lyrics of my favorite English gospel hymn, “One Thing I Ask”: “One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.” After reading this word to brother An, I exhorted him to ask the Lord for one thing. I encouraged him to live in the house of the Lord all the days of his life, and to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek Him. Therefore, even though brother An is at the crossroads of life and death, I prayed that he would confess in his heart, “I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever,” like the psalmist David, because of the goodness and love of God will follow him all the days of his life.
As I write this, I can hardly hear the rain outside anymore. As I look back today, on Thanksgiving Sunday 2016, I have delivered the words of three lessons that I exhorted to the late brother in Christ Dok-Il An last Friday to all the members of Victory Presbyterian Church (Korean Ministry, English Ministry, Hispanic Ministry) while the bereaved family of brother in Christ An was sitting. Then, a little while ago, the Hispanic Ministry members had another service separately, had a meal, and then all left the church. As I sat alone in the church pastoral room, thinking of the beloved brother An, I meditated on Psalms 23 and wrote it down again. Like the late brother in Christ Dok-Il An, even at the crossroads of life and death, I want to confess, “my cup overflows’ because of great and abundant grace that God has bestowed on my life, “I shall not be in want” because the Lord is my good Shepherd, and “I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever” because goodness and love will surely follow me all the days of my life.
Praying that the Lord alone will satisfy me,
James Kim