Before I die …
“May the LORD, the God of the spirits of all mankind, appoint a man over this community to go out and come in before them, one who will lead them out and bring them in, so the LORD's people will not be like sheep without a shepherd. … Take vengeance on the Midianites for the Israelites. After that, you will be gathered to your people.” (Numbers 27:16-17; 31:2)
What do I want from the Lord before I die? What is the final mission the Lord will command me to do before I die?
In Numbers 27:16-17, we see that Moses, who knew that he would die like his brother Aaron (v. 13), asked God for what he wanted. It wasn’t that he asked God to extend his life (cf. 2 Kgs. 20:6). Moses didn't even ask God to let him go into Canaan, where he really wanted to go (Cf.: Deut. 34). In fact, Moses went up to Mount Abiram according to God's word and saw only the land of Canaan, which God had given to the Israelites, but could not enter into it and died (Num. 27:12-13). So, what did Moses want before he died? What he wanted God to appoint a man over the community of Israel so that the community of God would not be like sheep without a shepherd (vv. 16-17). In other words, before Moses died, he asked God to raise up a leader in the congregation of Israel who could lead the Israelites to the land of Canaan instead of him. Looking at this, we can see that Moses thought more about the people of Israel than himself. In other words, Moses cared more for God's people than himself.
When I meditated on these words, I thought of pastors who were retiring early for the church members. When they retired from a church that they had planted and served for 20-30 years, or even more than 40 years, I thought about how they felt when they retired early for the sake of the flock (the church members) more than themselves. When they retire, they will no longer be able to stand on the pulpit and preach, but will have to sit and listen to other pastors' sermons while sitting in the parish chair. When I think of the pastors who determine to retire for the sake of the church and put it into practice, I think that is the heart of the pastor. Moses' heart was more concerned about the people of Israel, the congregation of God, than his own death. Moses didn’t want them to be like sheep without the shepherd (v. 17). So Moses longed for God to raise up a new leader to lead the Israelites before he died. So God heard his prayer and raised up Joshua the son of Nun (vv. 18-23).
As I meditated on the words Moses prayed to God before he died, I remembered the word of Jesus: “When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd. So he began teaching them many things” (Mk. 6:34), and “When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd” (Mt. 9:36). When Jesus saw a great crowd, who had followed him even to a solitary place (Mk. 6:32-33), he had compassion on them because they were like sheep without the shepherd (v. 34). Also, Jesus went through all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness (Mt. 9:35). And when he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them (v. 36). It was because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd (v. 36). If I am following this Jesus in my heart, I think I will earnestly ask God for the members of the Victory Presbyterian Church, the spiritual family that the Lord entrusted to me before I die, and for my wife and three children who are my physical family. In particular, when I ask God for the victorious community that is the body of the Lord, I will ask God to raise up a leader with the Lord-centered dream of conquering the promised land like Joshua in the new age and lead the victory Presbyterian Church. The reason is because I don’t want our church members to be like sheep without a shepherd. I believe that God will hear my prayers.
In Numbers 31:2, God gives Moses the last mission before he dies. The final mission was the command to take vengeance on the Midianites for the Israelites” (v. 2). Why did God give Moses this mission? This was because the Midianite women who followed Balaam’s advice and turned the Israelites away from the Lord in what happened at Peor, so that a plague struck the Lord’s people (v. 16). Here, “what happened at Peor” means that the Israelites, while they were staying in Shittim, not only began to indulge in sexual immorality with Moabite women, but also at the invitation of the Moabite women the Israelites bowed down before their gods and joined in worshipping the Baal of Peor (25:1-3). Because of this Beor incident, God’s anger burned against the Israelites (v. 3), and a plague struck the Lord’s people (31:16), and 24,000 people died from the plague (25:9). So God commanded Moses to treat the Midianites as enemies, and kill them (v. 17). This is because they cleverly deceived the Israelites into serving Baal in Peor and seduced the Israelites through the incident of Cozbi, the daughter of a Midianite leader, who was killed when the plague came as a result of Peor (v. 18). So, in order to take revenge on God, Moses chose 12,000 men, 1,000 from each tribe, and armed them, and sent them to battle against Midian according to God's word (31: 3-6). While sending them to the battlefield, Moses had Phinehas son of Eleazar the priest, follow along with the articles from the sanctuary and the trumpets for signaling (v. 6). This shows that Moses and the Israelites trusted God (Park). In the end, as God had commanded Moses, they fought against Midian and killed every man, along with the other five kings of Midaan and Balaam the son of Beor with the sword (vv. 7-8). The problem, however, was that even thought the Israelites attacked Midaan and killed all the men (verse 7), the allowed all the Midianite women to live who were the ones who followed Balaam’s advice and were the means of turning the Israelites away from the Lord in what happened at Peor (vv. 15-16). So Moses was angry with the officers of the army, the commanders of thousands and the commanders of hundreds who returned from battle (v. 14).
When I think of the last mission God gave Moses before he died, I remembered the words of Exodus chapters 3-4. If we look at those words, you will see that God is calling Moses. The reason God called Moses was because God sent Moses to Pharaoh king of Egypt to lead God's people, the children of Israel, out of Egypt (Exod. 3:10). This was the first mission God gave Moses. And he tried to get Moses to lead the Israelites into Canaan, the land God had promised them (v. 17). Originally, this should have been Moses' last mission. But Moses not only didn’t believe in God before the Israelites who were quarreling with him at Meribah, but also didn’t show God's holiness. As a result, he was not allowed to lead them into Canaan, the land God had given them (Num. 20:12). So, Moses' final mission was to avenge the children of Israel against the Midianites according to God's command before he died, that is, to destroy the Midianites completely (31:2-3). I'm a little strange as to how God's last mission to Moses was to avenge God by defeating and destroying Midian. If Moses' first mission was to lead the Israelites out of Egypt, his last mission was to avenge the Israelites’ enemy.
When I think of this last mission of Moses, I wondered what the last mission God would give me before I die. The word that came to mind at that time was Romans 5:10 – “For if, when we were God's enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life!” For we who were enemies of God and need to be destroyed in the wrath of God, the only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, who suffered all the wrath of God on the cross, was forsaken by God the Father, died on the cross, and rose again, so that all our sins are forgiven, we are justified and we became the children of God. As I get to know more about God’s wonderful grace of salvation to such sinner and enemy of God and became a child of God, I want to live for Jesus and His gospel to the end (Mk. 10:29). I think this is a mission God has given me. Therefore, I hope and pray that those who are enemies of God will no longer be in God's wrath, but live in God's saving grace and love by hearing the gospel of Jesus Christ and receiving Jesus as their Savior.
About 15 years ago, after receiving the word of Matthew 16:18, the promise of the Lord to build His church, I returned to the Victory Presbyterian Church and served the Lord's church as a senior pastor. In serving, the Lord is teaching me the death perspective, especially as I am serving the elders of the church. It made me think more and more of my own death as I lead the last moments on earth of many elderly people and especially their funerals. And I am realizing that not only do I have to live a life of faith with the death perspective, but also have to carry on the ministry of the family and the church with the death perspective. In the midst of this, I asked myself a question while meditating on what Moses wanted from God before he died and the last mission God gave him, focusing on Numbers 27:16-17 and 31:2 – ‘What do I really want from the Lord before I die?’ and ‘What is the last mission the Lord will command me to do before I die?’ I hope and pray that the Lord will answer my last prayer I long for before I die and that the Lord will give me the grace and strength to carry out the last mission.
Wanting to bless my family and church members before I die (Deut. 33:1),
James Kim