A wife of noble character
[Proverbs 31:10-31]
I still vaguely remember seeing a Bible verse embroidered with Proverbs 31:10-31 in English about a “A wife of noble character” on a frame in the living room when I went to a dormitory to meet someone at a college in Southern California a long time ago. It occurred to me that the single brother was longing to marry a sister like the noble woman of Proverbs 31. I am sure it isn’t just him. If not all single brothers who believe in Jesus, millions of brothers would dream of the noble woman of Proverbs 31:10-31 as their future spouse. Here, the word “A wife of noble character” literally means ‘A woman of power’, which refers to ‘A woman capable of execution in morality and courtesy’ (Park).
I personally thought that “A wife of noble character” only appears in Proverbs 31. Then in 2009, while reading the book of Ruth, I found out that Ruth 3:11 also speaks of a “a woman of noble character”: “And now, my daughter, don't be afraid. I will do for you all you ask. All my fellow townsmen know that you are a woman of noble character.” This word was spoken by a Jew named Boaz to a Moabite woman named Ruth. And Boaz said that all the people of the city knew that Ruth was “a woman of noble character.” So I meditated on three things about what kind of woman Ruth was, so that Boaz and the people of her town knew that she was “a woman of noble character”:
First, Ruth was a woman who longed for grace. In other words, “a woman with noble character” longs for God's grace.
Boaz was gracious to Ruth, and Ruth, who received his grace, confessed that she could not understand why he was being gracious to her and notice her, even though she was a foreigner (2:10). In the midst of this, Ruth, who was comforted by Boaz and heard the words of joy in her heart, confessed: “May I continue to find favor in your eyes, my lord” (2:13). He said that she was not like one of Boaz's servant girls (v. 13). Ruth, such a woman with noble character, humbly longed for the Boaz’s grace.
As I meditated on these words, I came to realize that I must first become a Christian with noble character. And I am taught that in order to become the Christian with noble character, I must long for God's grace more and more. The word that comes to mind at that time is Romans 5:20 – “… But where sin increased, grace increased all the more.” I want to realize the grace of God more and more in the midst of my sins that are continuously exposed because of the presence of a holy God. Then I will be compelled to confess like the psalmist: “O LORD, what is man that you care for him, the son of man that you think of him?” (Ps. 144:3) Also, as I gradually realized God's abundant grace, I cannot but pray to God, ‘Lord, how could you pour out such great grace to such sinner like me?’ like Ruth who confessed “Why have I found such favor in your eyes that you notice me--a foreigner?” (Ruth 2:10) and Paul who confessed “of whom I am the worst” (1 Tim. 1:15). The reason is because the grace of God that is bestowed upon the greatest among sinners like me is beyond comprehension and will never be understood. Then I will be forced to humble myself before the Lord. So like Ruth who said to Boaz, “my lord … though I do not have the standing of one of your servant girls” (Ruth 2:13), and the prodigal son who said to his father, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son” (Lk. 15:21), I confess to the Lord, “My Lord, I am not like one of your servants’ (Ruth 2:13). Because I am the chief of sinners, ‘I am not worthy to be considered as precious and honorable to God’ (Isa. 43:4).
Second, Ruth was an obedient woman. In other words, “a woman with noble character” obeys the word of God.
Ruth was a daughter-in-law who obeyed her mother-in-law Naomi. She was an obedient daughter-in-law who did everything her mother-in-law Naomi had told her (Ruth 3:5-6). Ruth was a woman who knew grace, and she longed for it even more. And I think she had an obedient heart out of humility. So, Ruth simply obeyed her mother-in-law's orders with a simple heart. Naomi told Ruth, “Wash yourself therefore, and anoint yourself and put on your best clothes, and go down to the threshing floor; but do not make yourself known to the man until he has finished eating and drinking. It shall be when he lies down, that you shall notice the place where he lies, and you shall go and uncover his feet and lie down; then he will tell you what you shall do” (vv. 3-4). Ruth said to Naomi, “All that you say I will do” (v. 5) and “she went down to the threshing floor and did according to all that her mother-in-law had commanded her” (v. 6). This woman of noble character Ruth obeyed her mother-in-law Naomi.
When I meditate on these words, I receive a lesson that in order to become a Christian with noble character, I must understand God's abundant grace and obey His word with the power of that grace. The word that comes to mind at that time is 1 Corinthians 15:10 – “But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them--yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me.” This verse came to mind because the apostle Paul “worked harder than all” other apostles by the grace of God. That is, those who gradually come to know God's grace more and more are bound to become more humble [“For I am the least of the apostles …” (v. 9), “Although I am less than the least of all God's people …” (Eph. 3:8), “… sinners--of whom I am the worst” (1 Tim. 1:15)] and have no choice but to obey His word more and more. That’s why he didn’t consider his life worth nothing in finishing the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus gave him – the task of testifying of the gospel of God’s grace (Acts 20:24). Therefore, I also want to be humbled more and more in my life of faith where I realize God's grace more and more, so that I may obey the Lord's word, even to the point of death like Jesus (Phil 2:8).
Third and last, Ruth was a kind woman. In other words, “a woman with noble character” shows kindness.
In obedience to mother-in-law Naomi's order, Ruth, who uncovered Boaz’s feet and lied down (Ruth 3:4, 7). In the middle of the night, Boaz who startled and found Ruth, said: “May you be blessed of the LORD, my daughter. You have shown your last kindness to be better than the first by not going after young men, whether poor or rich” (v. 10). In this way, Ruth was a woman who knew how to show kindness.
As I meditate on these words, in order for me to become a Christian with noble character, I need to obey His word with the power of that grace as I taste and yearn for God’s grace more and more so that my love for the Lord is progressively more and more filled than when I first believed in Jesus. As I do so, the hymn that came to mind is “More Love to Thee, O Christ”: “… This is my ear-nest plea: More love, O Christ, to Thee, More love to Thee, More love to Thee! … This all my prayer shall be: More love, O Christ, to Thee, More love to Thee, More love to Thee!” Like this lyric, I want to love the Lord more and more. So when the Lord sees me, I want to become a person who loves the Lord more than when I first believed in Jesus by the grace of God.
The woman of noble character desires God's grace more and more, obeys His word more and more, and loves God more and more. Such a noble woman is more precious than pearls (Prov. 31:10). Have you ever heard the saying, ‘Pearls are the jewel of pain’? I learned a bit about why pearls are jewels of pain through an internet article. During various activities for survival such as feeding and respiration, foreign substances such as grains of sand or small worms penetrate into the body of the clam and dig into the flesh. At this time, the clam continues to secrete secretions to overcome the pain. The fight to protect life begins when this substance enters and the unbearable pain begins, and the crystal of pain grows as the secretions are thinly wrapped. Pearls are called jewels of pain because the more they are injured, the more secretions are secreted, which grow bigger and brighter. The thicker the nacre layer, the more beautiful the luster, and the luster and thickness are important factors that determine the quality of pearls. Those with thick nacres and no flaws are said to be 'the finest pearls' (Internet). So when Jesus told the parable about the kingdom of heaven, he said in Matthew 13:46, “Who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had, and bought it” (KJV). In this way, pearls are extremely valuable so that they sell all they have to buy them. The Bible says in Proverbs 8:11, “For wisdom is better than jewels; And all desirable things cannot compare with her.” That is how valuable, important, and precious wisdom is.
However, in Proverbs 31:10, King Lemuel's mother said to her son King Lemuel, “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies” [“An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels” (NASB)]. What a wise mother she was. I think Lemuel's mother was a wise mother who taught her beloved son Lemuel about the woman with noble character who is more precious than jewels. I think the reason Lemuel's mother taught her son Lemuel about the woman with noble character who was more precious than pearls was because she wanted her son to find such a noble woman and marry her. Then, what is the value of the woman with noble character who is more precious than the pearls that King Lemuel's mother saw? Look at Proverbs 31:29 – “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” The woman with noble character, who is more precious than pearls (v. 10), surpasses all women (v. 29) in the eyes of her husband (v. 28). That is why the husband said to his wife with noble character, “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all” (v. 29). And her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her (v. 28). So how do we find this woman? When we see King Lemuel’s mother said “A wife of noble character who can find?” (v. 10a), who and how can we find her? This is what Dr. Yoon-sun Park said: ‘It is difficult for those who seek only the physical beauty to find such a capable noble woman. Only those who pray and seek God will find such a capable noble woman. Such a wife is a gift from God’ (Park). Then he said two Bible verses: “He who finds a wife finds a good thing And obtains favor from the LORD” (18:22) and “House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers, But a prudent wife is from the LORD” (19:14).
In Proverbs 31:10, King Lemuel's mother said to her son King Lemuel (v. 1), “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies” (v. 10). I would like to receive lessons by meditating on six things under the title of “A wife of noble character”, focusing on Proverbs 31:10–31.
First, the wife of noble character gives her husband trust.
Look at Proverbs 31:11-12: “Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” It's like a world where we cannot trust anybody. There are a lot of people who trust people and then get disappointed and get hurt. As a result, many people don't want to trust anyone. Even married couples don’t fully trust each other. Rather, it seems that many couples are suspicious of each other. And it seems that there are many couples who doubt that my husband/wife is having an affair with another woman/man. In particular, trusting a spouse who broke the relationship of trust after having an affair once again can be a great adventure. In this way, we are living in a world where even the ones we love cannot trust. What should we Christians do in this world of unbelief? We need to build strong trust with those we love. In particular, we need to build strong trust with our God-given spouse. How do we do that? There are 4 things to think about:
(1) In order to build trust with the person we love, we must first trust God.
The ultimate reason why we don't trust each other is because w don't trust God. For example, the couples who don’t trust in God cannot trust each other. The reason is because only when there is trust in a vertical relationship with God can trust in a horizontal relationship with a loving spouse be possible. Therefore, the first thing we must do to build trust with the person we love is to trust God.
(2) In order to build trust with the person we love, we need to give trust to him by trusting God.
We who love trust each other as we trust God. The more we trust God, the more we can trust each other. We must first trust the other before we can expect him to trust us. Rather than giving trust only when he has something to trust, we trust him even if there is nothing to trust him by trusting God. Just as God's love is unconditional, we must love our loved one unconditionally. And if we love unconditionally, then we have to give trust to him we love unconditionally. Then, even if we are betrayed by our loved one, the God-centered couple sees and relies on Jesus, who had been betrayed by His own people, and thus overcome our own struggles. And in the meantime, we forgive our spouses who betrayed us with God's love. It is impossible for our understanding. But it is possible if we trust God. God can make it possible. By trusting in that God, we must give trust to the one we love.
(3) In order to build trust with the person we love, we must be true to him as we are to God.
We who love should be truthful Christians. And we should be honest. We must not lie to each other. We must not do anything to deceive each other. We must be truthful not only before God but also with each other. To what extent we must be truthful to one another, and to the extent that we can tell each other, 'God is my witness' (Phil. 1:8). God sees us all. Also, God knows all our thoughts. Therefore, just as we are true to God, we must also be true to our loved one.
(4) In order to build trust with the person we love, we must admit our fault and ask for forgiveness when we do something wrong to him. And we must commit ourselves to change.
If we deceived the person we love and lied to him, we should ask him for forgiveness. We must confess our sins to him frankly and honestly. And we must not only commit to him that we will never commit the same wrong sin again, but we must demonstrate that devotion to him in action. Not only that, but when someone we love asks us to forgive him for his sins, we must forgive him. We must not keep no record of wrongs that he has done to us (1 Cor. 13:5). Just as God blots out our transgressions according to His great compassion (Ps. 51:1), we must erase all his wrongdoings from our hearts. And we must commit ourselves to love him with the unchanging love of God. We must also recommit ourselves to trust him whom we love. We should rather use our relationship with him that can be perverted as an opportunity for change in the Lord. Therefore, we should rather grow together with him whom we love in the Lord. We must be built up as mature Christians.
In Proverbs 31:11-12, King Lemuel's mother said to her son Lemuel, “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies” (v. 10) and specifically talked about her: “Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” King Lemuel's mother told her beloved son, King Lemuel, that the husband of the woman with noble character who is more precious than pearls, that is, more precious than all the treasures in the world (Park), believes in her. That is, the noble woman's husband trusts her. Why does he trust his noble wife? I think the closest reason is written in verse 12: “She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” In other words, the reason why the husband of the wife with noble character trusts her is because she does good to him “all they days of her life” and not harm. What do you think about doing good and not harm to her husband throughout her life? When I think of this word, I think that the woman with noble character is a good woman who does good, and that she is a faithful woman who does good to her husband all the days of her life. That is why her husband trusts in his noble wife. I looked in verse 30 for some more ultimate reasons why the husband of the noble woman trusts her in addition to the reasons given in this close verse 12: “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” In other words, the reason the husband of the noble woman trusts her is because she is a God-fearing wise woman. This God-fearing wise and noble woman hates evil (8:13). And such a woman not only hates evil, but loves good (Amos 5:15). Also, the God-fearing woman who belongs to God doesn’t imitate what is evil, but imitates what is good and does good (3 Jn. 1:11). Personally, I often admonish my beloved children that the character of their spouse is very important in their future marriage. And the character I emphasize to them is “truthfulness.” I urged my children to be wary of liars. The reason I emphasize the truthfulness of character to my children is because I hope and pray that they may meet their future spouses who are trustworthy.
We must become the church of the bride whom Jesus, the Bridegroom, can trust. In other words, the church, the bride of the Lord, must be the church that believes in the eyes of Jesus. To that end, the Lord's church must do good and not evil to Jesus, the Bridegroom, until the last moment of existence on this earth. Here, the church does good to Jesus means those who were created in Christ Jesus for good works (Eph. 2:10) must fulfill God’s good will (Rom. 12:2) on this earth by doing good works. Therefore, I hope and pray that we the church will become a church that can give trust to Jesus.
Second, the wife of noble character works diligently.
Even if we are married, we must work diligently to make sure that our loved one is attracted to us. In the effort, there must be not only physical attraction, but also personal attraction. And in that personal attraction, I think it's important to have truthfulness to give trust to our spouses, like the lesson we learned based on verses 11-12, ‘The wife of noble character gives her husband trust’. In other words, one of the personal attractions that a couple should strive for is truthfulness that can give them trust. In the midst of this, I think that another thing that the couple should strive for is “diligence”.
If we look back on the Book of Proverbs that we have meditated on at every Wednesday prayer meeting for a long time, the writer of Proverbs often mentioned laziness and diligence. For example, the writer of Proverbs said about laziness in Proverbs 6:10 and 24:33: “A little sleep, a little slumber, A little folding of the hands to rest … A little sleep, a little slumber, A little folding of the hands to rest.” This lazy man not only say “A little sleep, a little slumber, A little folding of the hands to rest,” but actually sleep more, lie down more. In other words, the lazy man doesn’t wake up at the time he should wake up, but postpone it until later. Also, the lazy man doesn't work when he is supposed to, and put it off until later. In doing so, he doesn’t blame his own laziness, but others (situations, people, etc.). In other words, the lazy man doesn’t know how to take responsibility. What is the result? Look at Proverbs 6:11 and 24:34 – “Your poverty will come in like a vagabond And your need like an armed man. … Then your poverty will come as a robber And your want like an armed man.” What does it mean? It means that poverty is inevitable for the lazy man. Poverty comes just as a victim is struck by a robber and is overwhelmed (24:33) (MacArthur). One interesting thing is that Proverbs 24:30 tells us that the writer of Proverbs saw him as he passed through the fields of “the sluggard” and the vineyards of “the man who lacks judgment.” Here, the write of Proverbs uses “the sluggard” and “the man who lacks judgment” as synonyms. In other words, the lazy man is the man who lacks judgment. What is the judgment that the lazy man lacks? I think it’s a priority. In other words, the lazy man lacks judgment about what to do first and what to do later. For example, Jesus said, “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you” (Mt. 6:33). However, at the time of the prophet Haggai, the Israelites were busy building their own houses before God's house (Hag. 1:4, 9). They left the temple, the house of God, to be in ruins, and were busy building their own houses in splendor. Their priorities were wrong. As a result, God punished the Israelites. What was that punishment? Look at Haggai 1:6, 9a: “You have planted much, but have harvested little. You eat, but never have enough. You drink, but never have your fill. You put on clothes, but are not warm. You earn wages, only to put them in a purse with holes in it. … You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little. What you brought home, I blew away. ….” What does it mean? God caused the crops of the people of Judah to suffer from famine (Hag 1:11), and the harvest was little (vv. 6, 9) (Park). In the end, God makes us needy by causing a drought in our finances when we don’t first seek the kingdom of God and His righteousness. In other words, if we don't put our priorities right in God's eyes, we're bound to be in need. This lazy man is poor because he lacks wisdom and doesn’t do what he should do first. So the writer of Proverbs said in Proverbs 6:6 – “Go to the ant, O sluggard, Observe her ways and be wise.” Why? Why should the lazy man go to the ant and see what it does and gain wisdom? Doesn't that mean that the lazy man is already more foolish than the ant? What wisdom should the lazy man learn from the ant? There are two things (Park): (1) The ant works voluntarily, diligently and cooperatively, even without a supervisor. Look at Proverbs 6:7 – “Which, having no chief, Officer or ruler.” The lazy man should go to the diligent ant, which voluntarily cooperating with each other in a spirit of mutual aid, even without overseeing ant, to take a closer look and gain wisdom. (2) The ant prepares in advance for the future. Look at Proverbs 6:8 – “Prepares her food in the summer And gathers her provision in the harvest.” The Bible exhorts the lazy man to go to the ant and learn the wisdom of preparing for the future. In Proverbs 30:25, the Bible also introduces the ants which prepare their food in the summer. Why do the ants prepare winter food in advance in summer? According to Dr. Yoon-sun Park, summer is the harvest time in Palestine. So it is said that at this time the ants gather food for winter (Park). In this way, the ants prepare their winter food in advance at harvest time.
Look at Proverbs 31:13-19: “She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.” The words of this section are about the labor of the wife with noble character. In a word, the wife with noble character possessed the beauty of labor to run a business diligently (Park). Dr. Park talked about how the wife with noble character diligently ran her business in three ways:
(1) The wife with noble character is engaged in the production of fabric/cloth.
Look at Proverbs 31:13, 18, 19: “She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. … She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.” The wife with noble character runs a small-scale industry within the house, producing on a small scale using her hands and simple tools. For example, in verse 13, the wife with noble character “selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.” She holds the distaff in her hands and grasps the spindle with her fingers (v. 19). And she does business with it. And when she realizes that the business is going well, she works until late at night so as not to turn off the lights (v. 18). When I thought of these words, I thought that it would be good for the wives at home, like this noble woman, to cherish home craftsmanship and engage in productive small-scale industry. Especially in today's world, I think that it is an era when wives can sufficiently run various small-scale, productive businesses such as computer Internet in addition to home-made handicrafts at home. That means there are small businesses that wives can do while doing household chores if they take care of their children at home. I think it would be good for each wife to find the things she wants to do at home and to do business diligently according to the talents of each wife.
(2) The wife with noble character manages her family life well.
Look at Proverbs 31:14-15a: “She is like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar. She rises also while it is still night And gives food to her household ….” Personally, I think a woman who works hard at church but neglects her family life is living a life of faith that is out of balance. In particular, if her husband is an unbeliever who doesn’t believe in Jesus, I think that it is against 1 Peter 3:1 of the Bible for her to neglect her family life: “Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives.” Now, many Jesus-believing wives who have unbelieving husbands are working hard in church life but neglecting their family life. They may be setting an example in the church, but they are not setting an example in the home. I think their Christian life is out of balance. What should they do? A wise wife sets an example not only in the church, but especially in the home. She sets an example in her home as she submits to her unbeliever her husband as to the Lord. Dr. Yoon-sun Park said: ‘When an unbelieving husband sees his wife's devotion, he realizes the truth of the gospel and can be converted. It is preaching the gospel of God through action. Our gospel witness is powerless unless it goes hand in hand with our good life’ (Park). The wise wife does not just speak the gospel witness. She never just tells her unbeliever her husband, 'Let's go to church'. Rather, she shows the truth of the gospel by submitting to her husband as she would to the Lord. She shows Jesus Christ with her life. Therefore, the Lord uses her to save her unbeliever husband as well.
In Proverbs 31:14-15, King Lemuel's mother said to her son, King Lemuel, about the woman with noble character, saying, “She is like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar. She rises also while it is still night And gives food to her household ….” What we do know about the woman with noble character here is that she buys food for her family from afar and brings them home. But the food she brings from afar is not just regular food, it's the best food (MacArthur). Dr. Yoon-sun Park said: ‘The purpose of her purchase of food from a distance is to purchase quality products at a low price. So she discharges her household's food policy with agility’ (Park). Shouldn't our wives have this kind of agility? The wise wives should manage their finances wisely and well in terms of household food policy as well as household chores in general, so that they don’t waste their money, but rather buy good products at low prices. If not, what would happen to that family if they wasted money and their finances? In fact, the mother of Proverbs writer King Lemuel said in Proverbs 31:27 that the woman with noble character takes care of her household chores, and doesn’t eat the bread of idleness. The woman with noble character diligently takes care of her household chores, and works hard to eat food. She not only buys her goodies cheaply, even from afar, for her own family, but she gets up early before dawn and prepares breakfast for her family (v. 15). Perhaps in the beginning of the newlyweds, there are cases where the wife prepares breakfast and then goes to work. Of course, I don’t think that all newlyweds are like that. It seems that some newlyweds either make their own breakfast from the start, or they almost skip breakfast. Especially in today's world where there are a lot of dual-income couples, I don't think it will be easy for a wife to prepare breakfast for her husband. In particular, I think it is a great challenge for a wife of a family with young children to prepare breakfast for not only her husband but also her children. Nevertheless, in Proverbs 31:15, the Bible says that the woman with noble character “rises also while it is still night And gives food to her household And portions to her maidens.” Regarding this statement, Dr. Yoon-sun Park said: ‘She personally prepares and provides food for her family. The family table is prepared with such care, and there is the warmth and joy of the home’ (Park). The woman with noble character gets up early in the morning with joy and prepares breakfast for her loved ones. This means that she is diligent in household chores.
(3) The woman with noble character develops an industry.
Look at Proverbs 31:15b-19: “… And gives food to her household And portions to her maidens. She considers a field and buys it; From her earnings she plants a vineyard. She girds herself with strength And makes her arms strong. She senses that her gain is good; Her lamp does not go out at night. She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hands grasp the spindle.” If we look at these verses, we can see that the woman with noble character didn’t do the housework alone and did a small-scale industry, but worked with a female servant who told her what to do. Then, seeing that this woman with noble character showed her maid what to do, I think she must have had some leadership of her own. And when we see that she considers a field and buys it; From her earnings she plants a vineyard (v. 16), she ‘considered deeply’ (Park) vineyards by collecting the money she earned from a small business at home I think he bought a field and cultivated that vineyard. That is, the wise and noble woman diligently runs the family and does her own work to expand her industry. Dr. Yoon-sun Park said: ‘She develops the industry, working to operate her products far away to increase her income (vv. 17-19)’ (Park). Such a woman with noble character is financially strong because of her diligence (Park) (v. 17). So she knows that what she is doing is useful, and she works late into the night (v. 18). I think that one of those useful things is said in verse 24: “She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies belts to the tradesmen.” Seeing that young women are also selling clothes online these days, I think that the wise and noble woman can do a good job at home while diligently selling clothes and other things online.
The wise and noble woman knows whether what she is doing is beneficial or unprofitable. Therefore, she doesn’t do unprofitable things, but diligently does useful things. And the woman with noble character who is industrious has financial power. Therefore, she collects her earned money, uses it prudently and works diligently, thus developing and expanding her own industry. This is what our church, the bride and groom of Jesus, should be like. Knowing what is beneficial in God's sight, we must diligently do the Lord's work to expand the kingdom of God.
Third, the wife with noble character helps the poor and needy.
One day (May 8, 2018), there was an article in the Korean JoongAng Ilbo Internet newspaper titled, “7 out of 10 Christians, ‘Help the poor neighbor’” and I read it. According to the article, “Barna Research, a public opinion polling company, recently published a report on the topic of ‘3 reasons to have hope for the global poverty problem’.” According to Barna Research, 7 out of 10 practicing Christians (75 %) said ‘I have provided food to poor people or low-income families.’ Here, ‘practicing Christian” refers to a member of the church who regularly participates in religious activities and says that he or she lives a practice of the doctrine. Christians have donated clothes or furniture, including money (72%, general adults 64%), Pray for the poor at a specific time (62%, general adults 33%), local Have volunteered for the low-income class in society (47%, general adult 29%), have volunteered at a volunteer organization in the United States (39%, general adult 24%), go abroad to help the poor. The response rate was higher than that of general adults in all areas such as have ever gone out (10%, 6% of general adults). Barna Research believes that there is hope for solving the poverty problem ▶ Practicing Christians are involved in a variety of philanthropic activities in the United States and around the world ▶ People who feel the need for active participation in poverty alleviation are also interested in other social issues ▶ People who have hopes for alleviating poverty are more likely to be more actively involved in solutions (Internet).
In Proverbs 31:20, King Lemuel's mother said to her son, King Lemuel, about the wife with noble character: “She extends her hand to the poor, And she stretches out her hands to the needy.” The meaning of the word ‘extending a hand’ here refers to kindly sending relief materials even to the poor who are far away (Park). This means that the wife with noble character not only kindly gives alms to the poor near, but also kindly sends the alms to the poor far away. Why is she kindly giving relief not only to the poor near, but also to the poor far away? I think the reason is because she has compassion for the poor. In other words, the wife with noble character is that she kindly gives relief to those in need because she has compassion for the needy.
Personally, when I think of ‘a heart of compassion,’ I can’t forget what Henri Nouwen wrote about “compassion”. He said that the original Hebrew word for “compassion” is “rachamim,” which refers to the womb of YHWH (God). So, while searching for articles on “the womb” on the Internet, I came across three characteristics of the uterus, and I compared them with God’s compassion like this: (1) Just as the womb doesn’t reject foreign matter but accepts it, so God the Father doesn’t reject us sinners, but accepts us. (2) Just as the womb receives the penetration of placental blood vessels and thus nourishes the placenta to grow, so Jesus the Son also tolerates the 'sin penetration' of us sinners by dying on the cross for our sins and provided the bread of life. Therefore, everyone who believes in this Bread, Jesus, is now blocking the 'infiltration of sin' and preventing the 'communication of sin' so as not to defile the whole body and soul. (3) Furthermore, just as the endometrium prevents the natural death of cells while the baby is growing in the womb, and in the latter part of pregnancy, the uterus becomes thin and soft to facilitate the movement of the fetus in the mother's belly wall, the Holy Spirit is making us to live a life of faith so that we can move freely in the Lord.
Those who have this kind of compassion help the poor and needy obey Jesus’ words in Matthew 6:2-4: “So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.” Interestingly, those who are compassionate don’t only do charitable works to help the poor, but also pray to God. In other words, they not only give alms in love for their neighbors, but also faithfully lead a prayer life in their relationship with God. So, after Jesus talked about almsgiving in Matthew 6:2-4, he talked about prayer in verses 5-15. A good example of this is devout and God-fearing Cornelius Acts 10. Look at Acts 10:2 – “He and all his family were devout and God-fearing; he gave generously to those in need and prayed to God regularly.” And God said to Cornelius through an angel, “Cornelius, God has heard your prayer and remembered your gifts to the poor” (v. 31). In other words, godliness that God remembers is prayer and almsgiving.
In Proverbs 31:20, the wife with noble character works diligently (v. 13) and works hard (v. 17) to expand her own business (vv. 15b-19) and feed not only her own household (v.14) but also helps the poor and needy in her neighbor. When I think of this wife with noble character, I think of her as “the wise rich.” The reason is because the wise rich woman fears God (22:4, 31:30), works diligently, and since she knows the needs of the poor in humility (29:7) and has compassion on them (Ps. 72:13), she gives alms (Prov. 28:27) and helps them (31:20). Such a wise rich woman doesn’t exalt her heart, and doesn’t set her hopes on unpredictable riches, but set her sights on God, who gives abundantly. And the wise rich woman is a generous woman who does good, does many good works, and loves to share (1 Tim. 6:17-19). The Bible says in Proverbs 28:27 that he who gives to the poor is not in need: “He who gives to the poor will lack nothing, but he who closes his eyes to them receives many curses.” Rather, the Bible says in Proverbs 11:24, “One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty.”
I hope that our church will become a church that gives alms like the church in Antioch. In order to help the Jewish brothers who were suffering from the great famine, the church in Antioch voluntarily collected a relief offering according to their own financial ability and sent it to the elders of the Jerusalem church through Barnabas and Paul (Acts 11:29-30). Like the church in Antioch, if our church helps not only close neighbors but also difficult churches in distant mission fields to build the Lord's church and to raise the Christ-centered visionary leaders, isn’t this the beautiful bride church of Jesus, the Bridegroom?
Fourth, the wife with noble character doesn’t worry.
We live in a world where there are so many things to worry about right now. In a world full of things to worry about day by day, even though we know that we should cast all our anxieties on the Lord according to the words of 1 Peter 5:7, it seems like we cannot cast all our anxiety on the Lord. But, as Jesus said in Luke 12:22, 29, we must not worry about our lives, what we will eat or drink, or what we will wear for our bodies. Why? (1) The first reason is because no one can add a single house to his life by worrying (v. 25). What good is it for us to worry? We shouldn't worry about anything that doesn't help us. (2) The second reason is because we “cannot do this very little thing” (v. 26). Why do we worry about the rest if we cannot do this very little thing? (v. 26) (3) The third reason is because “the pagans run after all these things” (Mt. 6:32). (4) The fourth reason is because our Father knows that we need them (Lk. 12:30). Although we shouldn’t be anxious because Heavenly Father knows everything we need, we worry and are anxious. It is because we are “of little faith” (v. 28). Because we are of little faith, we worry about what we will eat for our lives and what we will wear for our bodies today and tomorrow (v. 22).
What should we do? We must think of the crow (v. 24). We must see the birds of the air (Mt. 6:26). I still remember. Last time I went to the English Ministry retreat to the mountain, and in the morning I sat on a chair on the back porch outside the hostel and looked at the birds flying and perched on a tree. And I remembered the word of Matthew 6:26 – “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” So when I looked at the birds and meditated on this word for a little while, I thought: 'My heavenly Father who feeds the birds, will He not feed me who is much more precious and honored than the birds (Isa. 43:4)? In fact, throughout my life, my Heavenly Father raised me and gave me my daily bread plenty, so I never went hungry. Also, Heavenly Father provided me with clothes to wear, so I never went naked without clothes. Rather, God allowed me to live in abundance, enjoying food and clothes. Nevertheless, I worry about other things. I worry about what to say to the other person in a relationship (Mt. 10:19). Also, as I am concerned about the affairs of this world, I am concerned about how to please my wife (1 Cor. 7:33). I am concerned about church affairs (2 Cor. 11:28, cf. Lk. 10:41). I am afraid that some of the members will leave the church and leave Jesus (Deut. 29:18). In particular, I fear that I might fall into Satan's temptations (1 Tim. 3:7). In this way, my heart is weighed down with the anxieties of life (Lk. 21:34). And because of this anxieties of life, the word of God is choked and never bears fruit (Mk. 4:19). Although I know I shouldn't be like this (Mk. 4:19), I am still worried about various things. Not only I'm worried about today's events, I'm also worried about tomorrow (the future) that hasn't happened yet. This is what the Lord is saying to me: “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” (Mt. 6:34).
Look at Proverbs 31:21-22: “She is not afraid of the snow for her household, For all her household are clothed with scarlet. She makes coverings for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple.” According to this verse, the Bible says that the wife with noble character was clothed in scarlet, so as not to be anxious for the people of her household, and she wore linen and purple for herself. Here, both linen and purple clothes were expensive (Bible Knowledge commentary). Looking at it, we can see that the wife with noble character didn’t make her family to be in need, but rather made her family affluent. It is that such a noble woman worked diligently (verse 13) and developed her own industry (vv. 15b-19) so that her family didn’t have to worry about life (vv. 21-22). To a certain extent, her husband has no lack of gain because of the wife of noble character he trusted (v. 11). After all, the reason the wife with noble character wasn’t concerned for the people of her household was that she took good care of the household chores so that her family didn’t have to worry about life. That is why she has strength and dignity and doesn’t worry about the future (v. 25).
Let us not worry. Especially we the parents should not be anxious in front of our children. The reason is because when we worry in front of our children, they will be anxious. Rather, we should show our children that we cast all our anxieties on the Lord in prayer. Even if we don’t hide our concerns from our children because our faith is weak and we don’t deny them, we must show that we surrender all our worries to the Lord according to the Scripture. The grace I experienced a few years ago was that God already knew all my concerns about the weakness of my faith and provided me with what I needed in a way I never expected. At that time, I realized at least little bit that my Heavenly Father loved me so much, and I thanked Him. At that time, I keep trying to live according to what my eyes see even though I have to live by faith moment by moment. So I was anxious as I tried to anticipate the results. I was relying on my understanding, rather than trusting God and waiting and praying silently for God to work. I don't want to do that anymore. Now I don't want to live day to day with anxiety and worry anymore. Rather, I want to cast all my anxieties on the Lord and live by faith. I hope and pray that all members of our church will put all their worries on Jesus by faith. Let’s not rely on our understanding. Let’s trust and rely entirely on the Lord and let's not worry any more.
Fifth, the wife with noble character makes her husband to be respected by other men.
What kind of woman do you think a wise wife is? ‘Seven Things Her Husband Wants from His Wife’ are among the highlights that Sungshin Women’s University psychology professor Chae has compiled during her 20 years of marital counseling. One of them is that the husband wants his wife to respect and boost his self-esteem. The hardest thing for her husband to bear is the feeling of being ignored by his wife. Especially he hates his wife comparing himself to other husbands. The regular menu items that women compare to their husbands are salary envelopes, gifts, vacations, things that are good for their in-laws, and helping with housework and so on. Professor Chae is saying that women should not try to modify their husband's behavior by comparing their husbands with other men, but rather focus on their husband's current behavior, point out what they are good at, and ask for the behavior they want.
I would like to share with you what I wrote on May 22, 2005 under the heading ‘The Wise Wife’: ‘A wise wife is a wife who is submissive to her husband, and a wife who respects her husband. However, in this day and age, the words “submission” and “respect” are hard to find in marital relationships. Even though the unchanging Word should be applied in the changing times, I am concerned that many Christian couples, bachelors, and virgins are ignoring the principles of the unchanging eternal Word in the uncontrollable flow of the changing times. Although it is the duty of a wife to submit to her husband out of reverence for the Lord as she would to the Lord (Col. 3:18) and her great divine calling to witness to her unbelieving husband, I think there are many wives who aren’t able to fulfill this divine calling well. Also, I think many wives are ignoring their husbands even though respecting their husbands as a wife is a precious thing to build their husbands. This shouldn’t be like this anymore. Wise wives, be submissive to your husband and beautify your home by respecting him!’
Look at Proverbs 31:23 – “Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land.” What this verse suggests is that the wife with noble character is a wise woman who made a significant contribution to the establishment of her husband, to sit at the gates with the elders of the land (MacArthur). You may think this is such a big deal. But it is said that at that time, the city gate was where the leaders of the city or other provinces were located (Job 31:21) (Park). But the fact that there the husband of the wife with noble character sat there with the elders of the land meant that he was known as a leader and not a commoner (Prov. 31:23). Without the assistance of such a wife with noble character, would her husband have become a leader? This husband's success would have been impossible without the assistance of his noble wife. Such noble woman sets her husband up to be recognized and respected by men (v. 23). Those who are married women, how would you feel if you found out that your husband is not only successful in his own way, but also recognized and respected by others? Won’t you be happy?
I was browsing Christian Internet websites today and came across an interesting article. The article was about the wife of the famous Pastor Spurgeon. The article was titled ‘3 Things You Didn’t Know About Spurgeon’s Wife’. First of all, Pastor Spurgeon's wife, Susannah, had no choice but to learn a difficult lesson about marriage. Living with a husband who has great responsibility for the kingdom of God, the work of the Lord, and the ministry of the gospel, she had to learn the hard way that as a wife she could never put herself first in her husband's heart. Therefore, she should have committed herself not to be an obstacle to her husband's Kingdom ministry and the Lord's work. Second, through her sickness and suffering, God shaped her personality to draw her closer to God. Not only did she have to help her husband struggling with depression and illness, but she also suffered from severe medical warfare. But she believed that God was shaping her character through her breakage. And she believed that her own physical suffering brought her closer to the Lord. Third, Mrs. Susanna has established a worldwide ministry. She had organized a charity called “The Book Fund,” which distributed 3,058 theological books and 71,000 copies to poor pastors (Internet). Because she had such a wise wife with great faith, I think her husband, Pastor Spurgeon, was an influential pastor who did many great things for the Lord's church and the kingdom of God. According to Proverbs 31:23, a wife with noble character Susanna has established her husband as a pastor who is respected by many people
The noble and wise woman not only respects her husband (Eph. 6:33), but also causes him to be respected by others (Prov. 31:23). How, then, can the noble woman make a great contribution to getting her husband to sit at the gates of the city with the elders of the land and to build him up to be recognized and respected by the people? I found the answer in Proverbs 31:11-12: “The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil All the days of her life.” The wife with noble character does good to her husband all her life and never harms him, so that her husband trusts in her. Therefore, since her husband, who trusts in her has no lack of gain (v. 11), sits at the gates with the elders of the land with her help (v. 23).
I read an article called “A wife who does not understand her husband, a husband who hurts her with his words.’ The article says that when a husband feels unappreciated by his wife, he becomes frustrated. Then the husband said that he would not get the strength from his wife to go out into the world and win the fight. So he would become frustrated and lose all his energy. And this is what he said: ‘Wives are often overlooked without realizing how much influence they have over their husbands’ (Internet). Women, you need to know how much influence you have over your husband. I think the best way for you to influence your husbands for good is to obey God's word. The word of God is Ephesians 5:33, which says that the woman with noble character obeys the command to “respect her husband.” Therefore, the wife with noble character makes her husband respected by others. Our church as a bride should respect Jesus, the Bridegroom. Therefore, we must make others respect Jesus. In order to do that, we must obey the word of the Lord. We must live in this world like the church, the bride of Jesus, just like the church in Antioch in the book of Acts. Then, the Lord, the Bridegroom, will be respected by the people of this world.
Sixth and last, the wife with noble character has a wise mouth.
Have you ever heard the phrase ‘You have to use your three inches tongue well’? It means that the tongue is that the words that come out of a short tongue are so important that life goes back and forth. The tongue is as short as that, but the result of the words coming from that tongue is enormous. Look at James 3:5 – “So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire!” The words that come out of our tongues become great scars, frustrations, disappointments, and curses for some, hope, courage, and life for some. And in other cases, inadvertent words can kill others. If so, how important is a word from us Christians who believe in Jesus? So Proverbs 18:21 of the Bible tells us this: “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.”
In Proverbs 15:2, the Bible says: “The tongue of the wise makes knowledge acceptable, But the mouth of fools spouts folly.” Focusing on this word, we already meditated on the tongue of the wise in four ways:
(1) The tongue of the wise turns away wrath.
Look at Proverbs 15:1a – “A gentle answer turns away wrath ….” The wise man will not be angry with the other when the other is angry. Rather, the wise man is slow to get angry even when the other person is angry (v. 18). Meanwhile, he knows what to do with his angry opponent. It's about taking the other person's anger off with a gentle answer. In other words, the wise man uses gentle words to relieve his opponent's anger. Not only that, the wise man is patient with those who are angry (25:15). He persuades others with a soft tongue, and puts the wrath of the angry
(2) The tongue of the wise makes knowledge acceptable.
Look at Proverbs 15:2a – “The tongue of the wise makes knowledge acceptable ….” What does it mean? The tongue of the wise means speaking the word of God well (Park). In other words, the tongue of the wise speaks the word of God well and spread knowledge (v. 7). The reason is because the eyes of the wise read the word of God, his ears seek knowledge (18:15), and his life meditates on the word of God day and night (Ps. 1:2). In other words, since the wise man meditates on the word of God day and night, he has knowledge of God's word so that he can convey that knowledge to others well.
(3) The tongue of the wise heals wounds.
Look at Proverbs 15:4a – “The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life ….” The lips of the fool speak harsh words and hurt the other person's heart. But the tongue of the wise heals the wound. Don’t you want to have this healing tongue? How does the tongue of the wise heal wounds? It heals the wounds by speaking the word of God well (v. 2). The tongue of the wise speaks well with gentle words (v. 1) to heal the other's broken heart. Dr. Yoon-sun Park speaks of this healing tongue, saying that it is truthful and peaceful word that comforts, saves, and gives hope to the listeners. Such words are referred to as “full of grace, seasoned with salt” (Col. 4:6) (Park). The Bible says that the tongue of the wise is the “tree of life” because it comforts, gives life and hope to those who hear it (Prov. 15:4). In other words, the tongue of the wise is the tree of life to heal dying souls by preaching Jesus Christ, who is life.
(4) The tongue of the wise speaks a timely word.
Look at Proverbs 15:23 – “A man finds joy in giving an apt reply-- and how good is a timely word!” As I personally meditate on this word, I think of how beautiful the right word is at the right time. And in fact, I often experience the work of the indwelling Holy Spirit, letting me speak the right word at the right time. For example, when I talk to others through internet chat, there are times when I get a glimpse of what is working in the other person's heart because God the Holy Spirit makes me to share the Bible verses by reminding me those verses. When that happens, sometimes I am surprised by myself. The reason is because the words that the Holy Spirit reminded me were appropriate words for others at that time. So personally, when I think of Proverbs 15:23, I believe that God will bring us joy by letting us speak the word of God through us in His time. This is what Proverbs 25:11-12 says: “Like apples of gold in settings of silver Is a word spoken in right circumstances. Like an earring of gold and an ornament of fine gold Is a wise reprover to a listening ear.” What does it mean? In case of proper advice, it means that it produces good fruit (Park). Here, the original Hebrew word for “right circumstances” means “wheel”. In other words, it refers to the turn by adjusting the circumstances at that time. This teaches that the adviser should take a number of things into account and control it when speaking to the other person (Park): ‘Those who give advice should speak when they have love and peace. They should not speak in a humiliating manner. They should not speak hasty. Don't speak without courtesy. The Bible says that when the other person accepts such advice, it becomes a great treat (meaning of “apples of gold” and “setting of silver”) to the person giving them (Park).
Look at Proverbs 31:26 – “She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” The wife with noble character is not only a good housewife who works diligently to develop her own industry, but she also guides her family in the words of wisdom (The Pulpit commentary). What are the words of wisdom that come out of her mouth here? I believe that the words of wisdom that come out of her mouth are knowledge (15:7), and that knowledge is truth (8:7). The reason I think this way is because her heart is full of the truth of life (18:4, Park). From the mouth of the wise and noble woman should flow the gospel of Jesus Christ who gives eternal life. Not only must the knowledge of Jesus Christ be preached out of her mouth, but the good news of Jesus Christ, who was crucified and resurrected three days later, in order to give us eternal life. And the word of truth of God must flow out of her mouth. The knowledge to know God must come out, and the words of wisdom must flow out. Furthermore, the Bible says that the wife with noble character speaks “the teaching of kindness” with her mouth (v. 26). I think that in the heart of the wife with noble character, not only the words of the truth of life are abundant, but also the love of God. That is why she speaks the teaching of kindness with her tongue. Her tongue is a tongue regulated by the love of God, speaking the teaching of kindness (The Pulpit commentary). I think that the teaching of kindness is Jesus' double commandment if it applies to us who are living in the new covenant age. The double commandment is “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind” and “You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Mt. 22:37, 39). The wife with noble character not only show this twofold command in her home to her her husband and her children with her life, but also opens her mouth to teach her children.
This should be the image of the church, the bride of Jesus. The church must not only show the law of God's love by living in obedience to Jesus' twofold command, but also we must open our mouths to spread the word of truth. We the church must open our mouths to preach Jesus Christ, who is the true wisdom. In other words, we must preach the gospel. This is the appearance of the church, the wise and the noble bride of Jesus, the Bridegroom.
There are some words I will never forget among the words my grandmother said to me when she was alive. That word was Proverbs 31:30 – “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.” I still vividly remember it. I don't remember what conversation we had when I visited the nursing home to see my grandmother. But I do remember that my grandmother memorized Proverbs 31:30 even though she was old and had many wrinkles on her face. At that time, as I listened to that word through my grandmother, I could not help but feel the words, “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain.” The reason is because I could not help thinking about the meaning of a woman's beauty in the face of the passing years. However, it struck me how important it was to say: “But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.” And the only God-fearing woman who is praised is the wise and noble woman. The wife with noble character means she gives her husband trust, works diligently, helps the poor and needy, and doesn’t worry. Not only that, but the wife with noble character has a wise mouth and her husband is also respected. Her children thank (and are grateful for) her own mother and her husband tells her, “"Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all” (there are many great women in the world, but you are the greatest of them all”). I hope and pray that all of us may become a church that trusts the Lord, the Bridegroom. I hope and pray that we will become diligent in doing the Lord's work, helping the poor and needy, worrying about nothing, and preaching and teaching the gospel of Jesus Christ and the truth of God with our wise mouths. Therefore, when we stand before the Lord, I hope and pray that we will all be praised by the Lord as “Well done, good and faithful servant!” (Mt. 25:21)