3 lessons a mother taught her son

[Proverbs 31:1-9]

Among the lessons your mother gave you, what are some of the precious lessons your mother has engraved on your heart?  One of the most well-known American basketball players is Stephen Curry of the Golden State Warriors.  He loudly said the ‘F…’ word at the beginning of Game 3 of the NBA Finals against the Houston Rockets in May 2018.  It is said that his mother, who saw it on TV, later called her son and rebuked him.  His mother Sonia showed him two videos to inform her son of his mistake.  Stephen Curry said in an interview with ESPN: ‘My mother said, ‘Go and wash your mouth with soap,’ and told me how I can clean my lips.  My mother told me the same thing before.  …  My mother was right.  I will get better in the future and will not be able to speak that way’ (Internet).  Personally, I read an article about the late Bon-moon Koo, chairman of a Korean LG company, who passed away in May 2018 and thought that his mother had a great influence on him.  The article about him was titled ‘LG’s Impression. Evergreen Foundation …  He kept his mother’s will of life of giving throughout his life.’  Among the contents of the article was this: ‘The deceased Koo practiced the will of the late mother, Jeong-im Ha, throughout his life by giving to others.  He said ‘If it is not trusted by the people or society, it cannot endure.’  So as the chairman and CEO of public welfare foundations such as the LG Welfare Foundation, the LG Yonam Cultural Foundation, and the LG Yonam Academy, he invested heavily in social contribution activities (Internet).

In Proverbs 31:1-9, we find important words of instruction that the mother gave to the son King Lemuel, a son of her vow (vv. 1-2).  By meditating on those important words of instruction in three ways, we want to receive the lessons God gives to us (vv. 3-9).

First, the mother admonished her son, “Do not give your strength to women.”

Look at Proverbs 31:3 – “Do not give your strength to women, Or your ways to that which destroys kings.”  Do you know what “sexual energy” is?  I read an article on the Internet saying, ‘Increase your vigor in life’.  According to the urologist who wrote the article, there is no other people who are obsessed with vigor like Koreans.  He said that no one really knows what vigor is, even though they value it so much.  According to the urologist, vigor is simply 'blood'.  A man’s penis has three soft spongy bodies with holes in them like sponges and loofahs.  When sexually stimulated and the central nervous system gives an erect command, the cavernous body swells, and blood is concentrated 7 times as much as usual.  At this time, since the penile vein is pressed by the expanded cavernous body, the blood entering the cavernous body cannot escape and is trapped.  Blood is the substance of what is commonly referred to as vigor, which is hard to expand’ (Internet).  Look at Numbers 11:6 – “But now our strength is dried up, and there is nothing at all but this manna to look at” (ESV).  In the context of this word, the sons of Israel wept in their tents at the time of the Exodus (v. 4).  This was because they have imitated the rabble who were among them who had greedy desires (v. 4).  As a result, “the children of Israel also wept again, said, “Who will give us meat to eat?” and longed for “the fish which we used to eat free in Egypt, the cucumbers and the melons and the leeks and the onions and the garlic” (vv. 4-5).  And the Israelites were not content with the manna that God had given them in the wilderness.  So they were weeping in discontent and murmuring that their strengthen (vigor?) was gone because there was nothing at all to look at except manna (v. 6).  This was the Israelites' resentment against God's provision.  Because of their greed, they could not thank God.  Instead, they thought about the food of Egypt and blamed God for losing their strength (vigor?) because they could not eat meat.  After all, they complained to God that “we were well-off in Egypt” (v. 18) or that they ate and lived well.

If we look at Proverbs 31:3, King Lemuel's mother gave this admonition to her son, King Lemuel: “Do not give your strength to women, Or your ways to that which destroys kings.”  Here, the Hebrew meaning of the word “strengthen” is “vigor,” the male strength in sexual intercourse (DBL Hebrew).  The reason King Lemuel's mother admonished her son King Lemuel not to give his strengthen to women was because that will destroy kings (v. 3).  A good example is the famous King Solomon.  According to 1 Kings 11:1-4, King Solomon loved many foreign women besides the daughter of Pharaoh King of Egypt (v. 1).  Although God clearly told the Israelites concerning the pagan nations, “You must not intermarry with them, because they will surely turn your hearts after their gods,” King Solomon disobeyed God and loved the pagan women (v. 2).  King Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines, and they turned his heart away from God (v. 3).  Eventually, when King Solomon was old, the women turned his heart to follow (serve) foreign gods (v. 4).  In the end, King Solomon did evil in the sight of God by worshiping idols because of the foreign women (v. 6).  Although God appeared to King Solomon twice and warned him not to worship foreign gods, King Solomon didn’t obey God's word (v. 9).  So, in Deuteronomy 17:1, when there was no king in Israel, God through Moses said to the Israelites at the time of the Exodus: “He must not take many wives, or his heart will be led astray. He must not accumulate large amounts of silver and gold.”  This means that when the Israelites enter the land of Canaan and occupy the land and live there, if they think that they should set up a king, like all the nations around them (v. 14), they must appoint a king whom God has chosen.  And he must be from among the Israelites (v. 15).  God commanded the person who would become the king not to have too many three things: (1) Horses (v. 16), (2) Wives, and (2) Silver and gold (v. 17).  However, King Solomon disobeyed these words of God and had many of these three things.  As a result, he sinned against God.  When I think of Solomon's disobedience to God's command and having many wives, he eventually committed the sin of worshiping idols against God as a result of exerting his vigor on the women.  And this reminded me the story of his father David who slept with Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah, who was his faithful soldier.  David should not have consumed his vigor on women (Prov. 31:3).  But he consumed his vigor on his many wives and also on Bathsheba.  After committing this sin of adultery, he tried to cover it up.  And eventually he committed the greater evil of killing Bathsheba's husband, Uriah (2 Sam. 11).  One of the consequences was that David's son Amnon raped his half-sister Tamar, and Tamar's brother Absalom killed Amnon (ch. 13).  If we use our vigor on women like King David or his son Solomon did (Prov. 31:3), then our years will inevitably be lost to others (5:9).  The Bible tells us that when we refuse to hear the word of God and draw our way near the door of the house of the adulteress, the first unfortunate outcome is that we lose our honor.  Here the word “honor” can be interpreted as “strength” or “vigor.”  I think both interpretations make sense.  It is true that we lose our strength (vigor) when we fall into the adulteress’ temptation because we don't stay away from the harlot and get close to the door of her house.  But we also lose more honor than vigor.  The Bible Proverbs 31:3 says that when kings use their vigor on women, it will ruin the kings.  Dr. Yoon-sun Park said: ‘He who is deceived by women is, in reality, deceived by his own vigor.  How can the weak, enslaved by lust, rule the country?  If a ruler becomes a slave to lust, so are all the officials and so are the people.  In such a case, the nation will be filled with filthy beasts and will eventually perish’ (Park).  It reminds me of Sodom and Gomorrah in Genesis.  Why was that city judged by God and destroyed?  The reason is sexual depravity.  There is a word in English called sodomy.  This is a word used to refer to abnormal sexual behaviors, such as bestiality or homosexuality.  Sodom was a place of sexual depravity to the extent that the word Sodomy was derived (Internet).  Besides Sodom and Gomorrah, the Roman Empire comes to mind.  Edward Gibbon, author of the book ‘The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire,’ cites the destruction of families through sexual depravity as one of the causes of Rome's decline (Internet).  It is said that sexual corruption took place in the bathhouses to such an extent that Rome was destroyed because of the baths.  There were about 900 baths in Rome alone and the one that was built by Emperor Diocletian was capable of bathing 3,000 people at a time (Internet).  

We must be very wary of sexual depravity.  If everything in this sinful world is the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life (1 Jn. 2:16), we must be very wary of this lust of the eyes and the lust of the flesh.  We must clothe ourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and don’t think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature (Rom. 13:14).  The Bible says, “Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires” (Gal. 5:24).  Therefore, we should not all practice the desires (lusts) that are pass away.  But we must become those who do the will of God (1 Jn. 2:17).  From now on, we must live the rest of our lives not for our lusts (human desires), but for the will of God (1 Pet. 4:2).

Second, the mother admonished her son, ‘You must not get drunk.’

Why do you think people drink to get drunk?  I saw this article on an internet: A cup is said to be drunk for health, but if it is tipsy - it is drunk for pleasure, if drunk - it leads to indulgences, and if drunken - it drives madness (Internet).  One of the reasons for drinking is that it feels good.  Why do people feel better when they drink alcohol?  The reason is that when you drink a little alcohol, the central and peripheral nerves are initially excited, the secretion of the stomach is promoted, and the neurotransmitter called dopamine is secreted.  However, alcohol overuse or long-term abuse can lead to brain cell destruction, which, unfortunately, inhibits brain function.  If not, normally 100,000 brain cells die automatically every day. Drinking a lot of alcohol causes more brain cells to die.  Both academic and memory or thinking abilities decline and their decline is directly proportional to the concentration of alcohol.  When you drink alcohol too much, you cannot remember what you said and what you did.  This is called ‘film break’ phenomenon (Internet).

When we discuss the question of whether it is okay for us Christians to drink alcohol or not, what is important is what the Bible says.  One theologian concluded on the matter, demonstrating that the Bible clearly says not to get drunk, explaining that drunkenness is a serious sin and is forbidden.  He then pointed out that it was true that Jesus and his disciples drank wine to the extent that they didn’t get drunk, making a distinction between drunkenness and drinking.  And he said that drinking is the “adiaphora” problem of Romans 14 and 1 Corinthians 8, that is, it may or may not be.  In conclusion, this theologian's conclusion is that in light of the recognition that alcohol and tobacco are harmful to the body and to the family, if you apply the principle of love and good health (fundamentally the principle of tolerance established for the weak in the faith), it is better not to drink and not smoke (Internet).

We have already meditated on the word of God under the title, “Let's not show our own foolishness with alcohol” centered on Proverbs 20:1.  Look at Proverbs 20:1 – “Wine is a mocker, strong drink a brawler, And whoever is intoxicated by it is not wise.”  Besides the “wine” mentioned here, “strong drink” was made from barley, jujube, or pomegranate to make those who drink it drunk (Isa. 28:7).  Therefore, in the Bible the priests (Lev. 10:9), the Nazarites (Num. 6:1-3), and others (Isa 5:11) were also forbidden to drink (Walvoord).  For example, in Isaiah 28:7, the Bible says: “And these also stagger from wine and reel from beer: Priests and prophets stagger from beer and are befuddled with wine; they reel from beer, they stagger when seeing visions, they stumble when rendering decisions.”  Can you imagine God's servants, priests and prophets, staggering over wine and strong drink and making mistakes in their judgments by misinterpreting visions?  If the pastors were drunk and preached during the Sunday service, what would you think?  So God said to Aaron in Leviticus 10:9 – “You and your sons are not to drink wine or other fermented drink whenever you go into the Tent of Meeting, or you will die. This is a lasting ordinance for the generations to come.”  In Proverbs 20:1, the Bible says that wine or strong drink has two adverse effects on us.  Those two adverse effects are none other than wine and strong drinks that are mocker and lead us astray.  Wine and strong drink leads us down the path of foolishness.  It leads us in foolish path, not only to our immediate anger (Prov. 12:16), to strife (20:3), but also to mock at sin (14:9).  After all, wine and strong drink makes us show our own foolishness.

Look at Proverbs 31:4 – “"It is not for kings, O Lemuel-- not for kings to drink wine, not for rulers to crave beer.”  Why did the mother of King Lemuel give this admonition to her son?  Look at Proverbs 31:5 – “lest they drink and forget what the law decrees, and deprive all the oppressed of their rights.”  The reason King Lemuel's mother admonished her son, King Lemuel, not to drink wine and strong drink is that when the king gets drunk, he forgets the law, and it is easy to judge the poor people unfairly (v. 5, Park).  More specifically, because when a king gets drunk, his thinking and judgment are weakened, he cannot solve his convictions, or he is prone to twist his mind.  It is because drunkenness isn’t fitting for rulers who need clear, steady mind and sharp judgment (MacArthur).  So King Lemuel's mother said to her son King Lemuel, “It is not for kings, O Lemuel-- not for kings to drink wine, not for rulers to crave beer  …  Give beer to those who are perishing, wine to those who are in anguish” (vv. 4, 6).  Why did King Lemuel’s mother say “Give beer to those who are perishing, wine to those who are in anguish”?  Look at Proverbs 31:7 – “let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more.”  The reason is because for those who are dying or who are troubled in heart, strong drink and wine are as effective as a cure for depression, forgetting their own needs and suffering (Believer's Bible commentary).

There are times when we want to forget our own suffering or poverty.  But we must not forget the commandments (words) of God.  No matter how severe our suffering or poverty, we should not get drunk.  This is because drunkenness is a work of darkness (Rom. 13:13).  Also, we should not get drunk because drunkenness is not living according to the will of God, but according to the lusts of men (1 Pet. 4:3).  Another reason we should not get drunk is because it will weight our hearts down (Lk. 21:34).  And as King Solomon confessed in Ecclesiastes 2:3, it is foolish to try to enjoy pleasure through drunkenness, so we must not get drunk.  Therefore, we should not get drunk with wine in our suffering, but rather on the word of God.  We must draw closer to God's word and remember it (Prov. 31:5).  When our hearts are filled with sorrow, our God calls us to the word of God (Isa. 54:6).  The Word of God is, “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me” (Jn. 14:1).  Therefore, we must trust God in our sorrow and cast all our burdens on God, who takes care of us according to His word (1 Pet. 5:7).  Then God will comfort our troubled hearts and rejoice in our souls (Ps. 94:19).

Third and last, the mother admonished her son, ‘Take care of the poor.’

Do you remember the news about the last time in Korean news about the allegation that the Court Administration Office, which is a part of the Supreme Court of the Republic of Korea in charge of judicial administration, tried to negotiate with the Blue House over the legislation of the Court of Appeal?  At that time, it was mentioned in an Internet article that a person named Chief Judge Choi made this point: ‘Regarding the 'trial transaction' revealed in the documents of the Court Administration, he said, ‘The Judiciary exists by itself by denying the constitutional value of independence of the judiciary and the expectation of a fair trial of the sovereign people by using the trial as a political transaction or bargaining object.  It has produced disastrous results that collapse the evidence’ (Internet).  I watched the news at the time and wondered how a trial transaction could happen in the Supreme Court with the Chief Justice intervening if the trial transaction was true.  If there was a trial transaction in a country's highest court, how would the citizens feel about the damage caused by the trial transaction?  Wouldn't the citizens who suffered the damage be embarrassed?  How unfair it would be for the powerless to suffer in front of the empowered power.  What the citizens of our country want is a fair trial, and no one wants an unfair trial.

According to Amos, even in the days of the prophet Amos, the judges took bribes to oppress the poor. Therefore, the poor suffered injustice (Amos 5:12).  In the end, if you take a bribe, you will be biased (2 Chron. 19:7) and have no choice but to pervert the way of justice (Prov. 17:23).  In 1 Samuel 8, we see the elders of Israel coming to Samuel and requesting that they appoint a king to rule over them, just like other nations (vv. 4-5).  The reason was because when he appointed his two sons, Joel and Abijah, to judge Israel in place of the old Samuel (vv. 1-2), they didn’t walk in the ways of their father Samuel (v. 5).  Samuel never took a bribe from his youth to old age as a leader in Israel, and the Israelites admitted that “You have not taken anything from anyone’s hand” (12: 1-4).  However, his two sons, Joel and Abijah, unlike their father Samuel, “turned aside after dishonest gain and accepted bribes and perverted justice” (8:3).  That’s why all the elders of Israel said to Samuel, “You are old, and your sons do not walk in your ways; now appoint a king to lead us, such as all the other nations have” (v. 5).

In Acts 5, the magistrates imprisoned Paul and Silas after they ordered the crowd to be stripped and beaten and severely flogged them (vv. 22-23).  At that time, people with Roman citizenship were to be tried through a very fair and just procedure compared to non-citizens.  Although Paul and Silas were Roman citizens, they didn’t receive a proper trial according to Roman law and were beaten and imprisoned without a fair and just procedure (Sang-seop Yoo).  Looking at the fact that fair trials have not been conducted since the Old Testament times, it seems that there are many people who are suffering unfairly from unfair trials in the New Testament times and even now.  That is why God also tells us in Deuteronomy 24:17 – “Do not deprive the alien or the fatherless of justice, or take the cloak of the widow as a pledge.”  Also, God tells us in James 1:27 – “Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.”

Look at Proverbs 31:8-9: “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute.  Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.”  King Lemuel's mother didn’t want her son, King Lemuel, to give an unfair judgment to the needy people by drinking wine and strong drink and getting drunk and forgetting the law (v. 5).  Rather, she wanted King Lemuel to give a fair trial to the needy, especially the poor, the powerless and the unfortunate.  She wanted King Lemuel to speak for them, to defend their truth, and to solve their injustice.  In a word, King Lemuel's mother wanted her son to care for the poor.  Look at Proverbs 14:21, 31 – “He who despises his neighbor sins, But happy is he who is gracious to the poor.  …  He who oppresses the poor taunts his Maker, But he who is gracious to the needy honors Him.”  The Bible says that those who are gracious to the poor and to the needy are blessed and honor God.  King Lemuel's mother wanted her son to be such a person who honors God and is blessed.  So she exhorted her son, King Lemuel, to open his mouth to speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of al who are destitute, speak up and judge fairly, defend the rights of the poor and needy.   In a word, she exhorted King Lemuel to have pity on the poor.

How should we pity the poor?  I know a brother of my college roommate now works as a lawyer and also volunteers at Justice Ventures International.  I know that the brother took a vacation from work in the summer and went to India to serve with the people of the group.  What he and other people do in India is to help the poor and powerless there to get a fair trial.  They are doing their job to defend and help the powerless and who are in need.  The organization’s vision is: “Our vision is to see unjust communities transformed into communities ordered according to God’s standard of love where human rights and dignity are respected by all.”  So the volunteers and all those working in the organization are committed to bringing freedom, justice and restoration to men, women and children who are suffering from human trafficking and other forms of extreme injustice, not only in India, but around the world as they are working with local organizations and global stakeholders.  When I looked at the email I received from the organization not long ago, I received a newsletter and the title of the newsletter was “Four Girls Rescued from Domestic Slavery”.  Of course, this is what my college friend is serving to take pity on the poor and powerless, and each of us should follow the Lord's guidance in our own way to care for and help those who are poor and powerless.  King Lemuel's mother wanted her son to give a fair trial to the unfortunate who were poor, powerless, and suffering.  She wanted King Lemuel to speak for them, to defend their truth, and to solve their injustice. Regarding this king, the psalmist said in Psalms 72:4, 12-14: “He will defend the afflicted among the people and save the children of the needy; he will crush the oppressor.  …  For he will deliver the needy who cry out, the afflicted who have no one to help.  He will take pity on the weak and the needy and save the needy from death.  He will rescue them from oppression and violence, for precious is their blood in his sight.”  If such a king rules the country, wouldn't there be hope for the poor and needy?  How much hope, comfort, and strength would it be to know that the person who recognizes their injustice, oppression, and violence, takes pity on them, and rescues them from it is their king?  King Lemuel's mother wanted her son to be such a king.  Seeing her own son wanting to care for the poor in this way, we must also commit ourselves to caring for the poor.  With the heart of the Lord, we need to care for and help those around us who have a pitiful heart with the Lord's love.

Hyo-seop Choi, a children's writer and pastor, wrote an article titled ‘Mother, that's a bad name.’  Among the contents of the article are these: ‘Children, it is your mother who has left the most distinct mark on your hearts.  There is a western proverb that says, ‘The last mark the devil takes from a human being is the mark of a mother.’  It means that the devil can easily take away the influences from books and your heroes, but even the devil cannot take away the mark of a mother because it is so deep’ (Internet).  To that extent, the influence of a mother on a child is very great and it influences the rest of their life. Today's text Proverbs 31:1-9 are three lessons the mother of King Lemuel gave to her son King Lemuel: (1) “Do not give your strength to women” (v. 3), (2) ‘You must not get drunk’ (v. 4), (3) ‘Take care of the poor’ (vv. 8-9).  We must be very wary of sexual corruption.  We are to clothe ourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and not to think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature (Rom. 13:14).  We should not all practice the desires that are passing away, but we must become those who do the will of God (1 Jn. 2:17).  From now on, we must live the rest of our lives not for our lusts (human desires), but for the will of God (1 Pet. 4:2).  Also, we should not get drunk with wine in our suffering, but rather get drunk with the word of God.  We must draw closer to God's word and remember it (Prov. 31:5).  We must commit ourselves to caring for the poor.  With the heart of the Lord, we need to care for and help those around us who have a pitiful heart with the Lord's love.