How to sharpen each other
“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17).
Just as iron sharpens iron, we must sharpen our friends. How can we sharpen our friends? I thought about four ways during the early Morning Prayer meeting:
First, in order for us to sharpen our friends, we must shine our hearts on them.
Look at Proverbs 27:19 – “As water reflects a face, so a man's heart reflects the man.” Just as our faces shine when we put our faces on the water of a stream, so we must shine our hearts in meetings with our friends. We must open our hearts and treat our friends with genuine heart and transparency. Especially in our conversations with our friends, we must open our hearts to our friends in a transparent, honest and sincere way. Then we will connect our hearts with our friends’ hearts. We can sharpen each other when the Holy Spirit, who dwells in us, allows us to connect hearts and minds with our friends.
Second, in order for us to sharpen our friends, we must counsel them with the word of God's truth.
Look at Proverbs 27:9 – “Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one's friend springs from his earnest counsel.” God the Holy Spirit not only opens our hearts to our friends to be transparent, but also reminds us of the word of God’s truth so that we can counsel our friends with His word. God the Holy Spirit counsels our friends by the word of God at His appropriate time. The reason the right time is so important here is because no matter how much we counsel our friends with His word, we can never sharpen our friends unless the timing is right. That is why the Proverbs writer says in Proverbs 27:14, “If a man loudly blesses his neighbor early in the morning, it will be taken as a curse.” Who would like it if we say the word of blessing loudly in the early morning. God, the Holy Spirit, who dwells within us, gives us the grace of helping us in time of need, to counsel our friends with His word at His proper timing, so that we can sharpen our friends.
Third, in order for us to sharpen our friends, we must praise them.
Look at Proverbs 27:2 – “Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; someone else, and not your own lips.” Not only do we open our hearts and counsel with the word of God's truth when we speak with our friends, but we should also praise our friends. How is this possible? It is made possible by God the Holy Spirit who dwells within us. The indwelling Holy Spirit opens our spiritual eyes to see strengths in our friends. And God the Holy Spirit makes us praise our friend's strengths. God the Holy Spirit encourages, comforts, and empowers our friends through us. Therefore, we must praise our friends. We should never be stingy with praise. We must sharpen our friends as we praise them with God's love.
Fourth and last, in order for us to sharpen our friend, we must be rebuke them.
Look at Proverbs 27:5-6: “Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. Even though we are used to making hidden love rather than rebuke, the Proverbs reporter says that rebuke is better than hidden love. And he says that it is better for us to be wounded through our trustworthy friend’s rebuke rather than an enemy multiple kisses. How is the friend's wound better than the enemy's multiple kisses? The reason is because our enemy, who hates us, tries to destroy us even through multiple kisses, while our friends, who love us, try to build us up even through rebuke. We need to know that our friends rebuke us because they love us. And we must know that our hearts’ wound that comes from our friends’ rebuke in love is good for us. We should be able to give even this beneficial wound to our friends even through rebuke in love. Then we will be able to sharpen our friends.
Just as iron sharpens iron, we must sharpen our friends. We must sharpen our friends with words of truth that the indwelling Holy Spirit reminds us as we open our hearts widely. And we must sincerely praise our friends as the Holy Spirit enables us to see their strengths. And we should rebuke our friends with the love of God. Therefore, we must glorify God by sharpening our friends.