A wise woman who builds her house
[Proverbs 14:1-9]
How should we build our own homes? Personally, when I think of Matthew 16:18, the word of the Lord's promise to our church, I have three prayer topics while holding onto the word that the Lord will establish the Lord's Church. Those three prayer topics I am praying for the Lord to raise among us workers with Christ-centered visions. In the midst of that, I am also praying that the Lord will raise up our families. And I am praying that the Lord will establish the kingdom of God by establishing Victory Presbyterian Church, the body of the Lord. That is why whenever we prayed together, we often put individuals, families, and churches together as our prayer topics. Among these three prayer topics, I can't help but think a little bit about how to pray for the second prayer topic, the Lord to build our homes. As a review, looking back at 1 Chronicles 17:16-27 under the title ‘Lord, may You build our home!’ preached on May 18, 2008, at that time we received three prayer topics: (1) ‘Lord, let my family be ruled by the grace of God!’ (v. 16), (2) ‘Lord, let the word of God become authority in my family!’ (v. 23), and (3) ‘Lord, let my family experience God's presence through prayer!’ (v. 25) Whether our homes are governed by God's grace, and whether God's word is the authority in our homes, and whether we experience God's presence through prayer, let's look back once more while receiving His word today and praying to God.
I would like to meditate a little on the fact that the Lord uses a wise woman in building our homes, centering on Proverbs 14:1-9. Look at Proverbs 14:1 – “The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish tears it down with her own hands.” Today, I would like to think about it by dividing it into two categories under the heading “A wise woman who builds her house”. While meditating on these two things, I pray that we all humbly join in the work of the Lord who builds our home and the church we serve by receiving and obeying the lessons God gives us.
The first thing I want to think about is a foolish woman who tears down the house with her own hands.
Look at Proverbs 14:1b – “… But the foolish tears it down with her own hands.” Who is the foolish woman who tears the house down with her own hands?
First, the foolish woman who tears down the house with her own hands despises God.
Look at Proverbs 14:2b – “… But he who is devious in his ways despises Him.” The foolish woman is the one who walks in rebellion. She who acts rebelliously is the one who does only what she likes (Park). And the foolish woman who only does her own good despises her God. In other words, she despises God. How does she despise God? Dr. Park Yun-seon said seven things (Park): (1) The foolish woman who despises God loves pleasure more than Him (2 Tim. 3:4), (2) The foolish woman who despises God doesn’t repent and doesn’t believe in God (Jude 1:10), (3) The foolish woman who despises God says that she despises Him and doesn’t have God because God is patient with human sins and doesn’t punish them quickly or every time (Rom. 2:4), (4) The foolish woman who despises God doesn’t fear God's words recorded in the Bible (Prov. 13:13), (5) The foolish woman who despises God doesn’t glorify God but glorifies herself. In other words, she commits rash action to take away the glory of God, (6) The foolish woman who despises God doesn’t pray to God. This is contempt for God's promise to give to those who seek Him (Mt. 7:7-11), and (7) The foolish woman who despises God isn’t devoted to worshiping God. The foolish woman who despises God in this way doesn’t fear God, but rather despises Him. So she doesn’t walk straight but she walks a crooked path. In other words, the foolish woman who despises God walks on a road with both sides (double-dealings) (KJV Bible Commentary). She is unfaithful and doesn’t fear God. So she doesn’t (and cannot) be upright, but rather does evil. Therefore, the foolish woman who despises her God tears her own house down with her own hands.
Second, the foolish woman who tears down the house with her own hands is proud.
Look at Proverbs 14:3a – “The rod of pride is in the mouth of a fool …” (WYC). The Bible says that the foolish woman who doesn’t fear God is proud (v. 3). She is arrogant and considers others less than herself. Therefore, she laughs at others and look down on them with her heart. For example, in a family, if a wife is foolish and arrogant, she considers her husband less than herself. So she looks looks down on him. Thus she uses her mouth to say disrespectful words to her husband and hurts his heart. Still, the serious problem is that she doesn't realize that she has said something that hurt her husband. What is the feeling of the husband living with her who is proud and foolish? And what about their house? Will the house be built right or will it be teared down? If we look at the first half of Proverbs 11:2, the Bible says: “When pride comes, then comes disgrace ….” What does it mean? This means that the foolish and proud woman will be disgraced because of her mouth. What disgrace will she face? In the second half of Proverbs 10:13, the Bible says “… but a rod is for the back of him who lacks judgment.” In other words, the foolish and proud woman will be disgraced because of her mouth, but will be disciplined with a rod (26:3). Therefore, God will bring the proud woman low (29:23). God never makes the proud woman to build her home. Rather, this foolish and proud woman takes down her own house.
Third, the foolish woman who tears down the house with her own hands is haughty.
Look at Proverbs 14:6a – “The mocker seeks wisdom and finds none ….” The foolish woman is haughty and refuses to listen to others. Therefore, she loses her ability to hear (MacDonald). What if a person loses the ability to hear? No matter he has two ears, if he keeps refusing to listen to advice, instruction, or rebuke from other loved ones, not only he will be obsessed with the idea that he is right, but also he will become very selfish and will have no choice but to know only himself. He will have no choice but to lose all of his friends around him. Who would like to be friends with the selfish person who only knows himself? And even further, who will remain around him when he thinks he is the best and the words from his lips sound so arrogant? If a wife is foolish and arrogant in the house, she will refuse to listen to her husband. Then, in the midst of losing the ability to listen, she will turn into a proud, arrogant, selfish person who only knows herself. Can you imagine the bad influence of such woman on her husband and especially on her children? Such woman seeks wisdom and finds none (v. 6). Isn't it a little weird? How is it not strange in itself that the arrogant person who refuses to listen to others and thinks she is right seeks wisdom? The problem isn’t that the haughty person asks for wisdom. Rather, the problem is that the person who asks wisdom is haughty and she doesn’t fear God (1:7; 9:10) (Walvoord). How can a proud and arrogant person who doesn’t fear God seek wisdom to obtain it? If we look at Proverbs 16:18b, the Bible says: “… a haughty spirit before a fall.” The haughty and foolish woman without wisdom causes her husband and children to fall. She adversely affects her husband and her children, and she is forced to take her home down with her own hands.
Fourth, the foolish woman who tears down the house with her own hands has no knowledge.
Look at Proverbs 14:7 – “Stay away from a foolish man, for you will not find knowledge on his lips.” The foolish woman who tears down her house with her own hands despises God, is proud and haughty, and doesn’t listen to God's words. In other words, she makes words and actions that ignore God (Ps. 14:1) (Park). And because she is conceited and understands nothing, she has an unhealthy interest in controversies and quarrels about words that result in envy, strife, malicious talk, evil suspicions (1 Tim. 6:4). If your wife is proud and knows nothing in your house, she will certainly love controversies and quarrels. The result is envy, strife, malicious talk, evil suspicions, and there will be no days of peace in such a family. However, the problem is that the foolish woman, even though she has no knowledge, is proud and thinks she has knowledge. And what happens to the assumption if she is arrogant and does not listen to anyone's advice and counsel? The same is true with the spiritual family, the church. If there are people who are proud and arrogant and have little knowledge of God but like arguments and quarrels, then the church will be noisy. It won't be easy to teach such people. The reason is because they are proud and are not prepared to be taught. Therefore, the Bible urges us to stay away from such foolish people (Prov. 14:7). If we don’t stay away from such foolish people, then if we do wrong, we may become fools who tears down our own house as we ignore God.
Fifth, the foolish woman who tears down the house with her own hands deceives herself.
Look at Proverbs 14:8b – “… but the folly of fools is deception.” The foolishness of the foolish woman is to ignore God. In other words, the foolishness of the foolish woman thinks there is no God (Ps. 53:1). Therefore, she is corrupt and commits abominable injustice because she doesn’t and can’t fear God (v. 1). She neither does nor can she do good (vv. 1, 3). Nevertheless, the foolish woman thinks that her own way is right (Prov. 12:15). This reminds me James 1:22 – “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.” The Bible says that if you only listen to God's word and do not obey (execute), then you deceive yourself. But the foolish and arrogant woman thinks that there is no God, so she doesn’t listen to God at all. How can the foolish woman who ignores God in this way obey God's word? This is deceiving herself. How could the foolish woman, who deceives herself in this way, build her own her house?
Sixth, the foolish woman who tears down the house with her own hands mocks at sin.
Look at Proverbs 14:9a – “Fools mock at sin ….” The foolish woman doesn't listen to God's word because she thinks there is no God. And she doesn't know the truth because she doesn't listen to God. What if she doesn't know the truth? She does evil. Still, she doesn’t regard her sin as sin because she has lost the ability to do so. Rather, the foolish woman who doesn't know the truth and has lost the ability to regard sin as sin finds pleasure in evil (10:23). Therefore, the foolish woman isn’t afraid to sin against God because her heart is hardened by sin. In other words, the foolish woman doesn’t take her sins seriously. She mocks at sin. Obviously, God takes sin seriously, but the foolish woman takes it lightly. This is what Dr. Yoon-sun Park said: ‘Those who are ignorant of the Bible don’t know sin as a sin, but rather enjoy it’ (Park). Therefore, she not only doesn’t repent of her sin, but she also cannot repent. The reason is because she doesn't regard her sins sin, so she doesn't even feel the need to repent. Therefore, she will continue to sin against God. Since she takes her sin lightly, she will lead a sinful life away from God's grace. And while she commits countless sins, she will live with her hardened heart that will not be pierced by her conscience. If such a woman is in her house, what would her house be?
The last thing I want to think about is a wise woman who builds her house.
Look at Proverbs 14:1a – “The wise woman builds her house ….” Who is the wise woman who builds her house?
First, the wise woman who builds her house fears God and acts uprightly.
Look at Proverbs 14:2a – “He who walks in his uprightness fears the LORD ….” The wise woman who builds her house fears God. The reason is because the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom (1:7). And the wise woman who fears God acts uprightly. So how does she who fears God and walk uprightly live life of faith? Dr. Park said five things: (1) She fears God in order not to commit sins while doing ordinary things. (2) She lives reverently in secret, watches and prays. (3) She doesn’t commit sins in her heart. (4) She is afraid and careful that she would not leave the Lord in a time of peace. (5) In times of awkward time, the wise woman doesn’t rush to avoid it but remains loyal. Like this, the wise woman who fears God and acts uprightly doesn’t takes sin lightly (v. 9). She takes her sins seriously because she fears God (v. 9). Therefore, when she sins against God, she realizes the sin and repents by confessing her sin to God. Therefore, because she fears her God, He extends His grace to her who act uprightly before God (v. 9). In other words, God accepts her willingly who repents her sins and returns to God (Walvoord). If this is not God's grace, what is? (8:35) In Proverbs 31:30, the Bible says about a woman who fears God: “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” The wise woman who fears God is praised by God and people for acting uprightly. Through such a woman who fears God, God builds our homes and churches.
Second, the wise woman who builds her house has knowledge on her lips.
Look at Proverbs 14:7 – “Stay away from a foolish man, for you will not find knowledge on his lips.” The wise woman fears God and is humble before Him and people. And because she is humble, she listens to His voice well. Also she humbly listens to the counsel and admonition of the wise to gain her knowledge (v. 6). She even humbly listens to the rebuke of the righteous. Rather, she regards the rebuke of the wise as grace (Ps. 141:5). Therefore, she even welcomes the rebuke of the wise. The reason is because she knows that the rebuke of the wise one will benefit herself. How does she make the rebuke of the wise one good for herself? It is precisely that the wise woman causes the wise one’s rebuke to add to her learning (Prov. 1:5, 9:9). Look at Proverbs 9:9 – “Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still; teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning.” Such a humble and wise woman doesn’t bring a rod to her back with her lips (14:3). Rather, she protects herself with her lips (v. 3). In other words, the wise woman keeps her lips for the benefit of others by speaking when she needs to and being silent when she needs to be silent. Therefore, she also benefits herself (Park). This is what Dr. Park said, ‘The wise man doesn’t reproach others because he loves others and covers over their multitude of sins (1 Pet. 4:8). Therefore, the others also protect the wise man with words’ (Park). Furthermore, as a truthful witness (Prov. 14:5), the wise woman testifies God's word with her knowledgeable lips. Through such wise woman who has knowledge on her lips, God builds the home and the church.
Third, the wise woman who builds her house is diligent.
Look at Proverbs 14:4 – “Where there are no oxen, the manger is empty, but from the strength of an ox comes an abundant harvest.” Naturally, without oxen, the manger is clean. However, without oxen, there is no strength in cultivating rice fields. Therefore, without oxen, there is no big harvest in agriculture. Hence, the wise woman buys money and takes time to feed and wash her oxen. And she works diligently together to obtain a bountiful harvest. Reading the Bible, we can see that God is referring to oxen, especially among beasts, to teach people what they should strive for. For example, in Deuteronomy 25:4, the Bible says, “Do not muzzle an ox while it is treading out the grain.” So Dr. Park said, ‘An ox is a symbol of loyalty and effort’ (Park). In other words, the wise woman is loyal and tries hard. She works diligently, so that she lacks nothing of value (Prov. 31:11). When we look at from Proverbs 31:13 and on, the wise woman “selects wool and flax and works with eager hands” (v. 13), “gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls” (v. 15), “sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks” (v. 17), and sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night (v. 18). Therefore, her children arise and call her blessed and her husband also praises her (v. 28). Through such wise and diligent woman, God builds her home and her church.
Fourth and last, the wise woman who builds her house understands her way.
Look at Proverbs 14:8 – “The wisdom of the sensible is to understand his way, But the foolishness of fools is deceit.” The foolish woman doesn’t fear God and ignores Him. So she doesn’t seek the will of God and walk the path that God wants her to walk. Rather, she walks the path she wants to walk according to her desire and will. This is only revealing her own foolishness. The reason is because she live thinking that there is no God (Ps. 53:1). And in the end, it's only deceiving herself. The reason is because living apart from God is to live a false life away from the truth. Such foolish woman who deceives herself in this way and reveals her own foolishness is bound to take her house down. But the wise woman builds her own house. She first knows her own way. She knows God's will for her and she lives according to His will. In other words, the wise woman knows exactly what she is going to do that fits the will of God and does it (1 Cor. 7:17) (Park). One of the will of God is to build her house and also to build the church, which is God's house. The wise woman knows this will of the Lord, and she is loyal to Him and strives diligently to fulfill the Lord's will. And since she fears God, she humbly lives according to the will of her Lord. Through such wise woman, the Lord builds His house that is His church.
Who comes to your mind when you think of the wise woman who built her house in the Bible? I think of Ruth, a Moabite woman from the book of Ruth in the Bible. The Bible says that the Moabite woman, Ruth, is “a woman of excellence” (Ruth 3:11). In a way, in Ruth's family, her father-in-law Elimelech died, her husband Mahlon died, her brother-in-law Kilion also died, and Orpah left the family. The only people left were Naomi, Ruth’s mother-in-law, and Ruth herself. And despite being a foreign woman, Ruth followed her mother-in-law Naomi to Bethlehem in the land of Judah, worked hard in the field of Boaz, and eventually married Boaz. And they got married and gave birth to David's grandfather, Obed. So, in the end, Ruth and Boaz were named in the genealogy of Jesus. What a wonderful great grace this is? When I think of this grace, I really think that Ruth was the woman of excellence and a wise woman. And she was a woman who yearned for grace (2:10), an obedient woman (3:5-6), and a woman who showed love (3:10). The Lord established Boaz's family through Ruth, and through that family eventually, Jesus, the Messiah, was born on this earth. And through Jesus, the Lord established the church. And the Lord wants to build up His church, the body of the Lord, through us. Therefore, we must be wise Christians. The wise Christians fear God and act uprightly. Also, the wise Christians have knowledge on their lips. The wise Christians are diligent. And the wise Christians know their way and faithfully do what they will do according to the will of the Lord. I hope and pray that we can become the wise Christians who build the house of the Lord.