Let your wife be blessed!
[Proverbs 5:15-23]
What is a most valuable think to you? Who is the most valuable person in your life? The Bible says in Proverbs 5:18, “Let our fountain be blessed ….” Here the word “fountain” refers to a wife. In other words, the Bible commands us to let our wives to be blessed. How can we, the husbands, let our wives to be blessed?
First, we must regard our wives as the blessing God has given us.
Look at Proverbs 18:22 – “He who finds a wife finds a good thing And obtains favor from the LORD.” Of course, the wise King Solomon is not talking about any wives. How can you know it? We can know this by looking at what he said in Proverb: “It is better to live in a corner of a roof Than in a house shared with a contentious woman” (Prov. 21:9), “It is better to live in a desert land Than with a contentious and vexing woman” (v. 19), “It is better to live in a corner of the roof Than in a house shared with a contentious woman” (25:24). In Proverbs 18:22, King Solomon is not talking about “a contentious woman” or “a vexing woman”. Rather, he is talking about “an excellent wife” (12:4), “prudent wife” (19:14) or “A wife of noble character (31:10). Look at Proverbs 12:4 – “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones.” Look at Proverbs 19:14 – “House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers, But a prudent wife is from the LORD.” Look at Proverbs 31:10 – “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.” The Bible says that those who acquire such a wise, excellent and virtuous wife are blessed and have received favor from God. In other words, a husband who has this wife as spouses is blessed. The reason is that such a wise, excellent and virtuous wife is blessing to him.
Do you consider your wife a blessing? Or do you consider her a curse? The reason I ask this question is that the word "be blessed" in Proverbs 5:18 in Hebrew has not only the meaning “bless” or “be blessed” but also "curse" (Vine). We, the husbands, should consider our wives as a blessing. The reason is because the wives of our youth are from God. And the wives whom God has given us is blessing for us (Mal 2:14) (Park Yun-sun). Therefore, we must not only think that our wives are the blessed ones but also express in words to them "You are my blessed one". But if we do not regard our wives as our blessing, it is the same as denying that our wives are from God. This is the sin of unbelief and the sin of pride. Maybe some of men want to make excuse like this: ‘How can I regard my wife as blessing to me when God didn’t give an excellent wife but a contentious or vexing woman?’ Isn’t this sound a good excuse? If I hear such a statement, I would like to say to that man like this: ‘God has not given you the contentious or vexing woman but you have chosen such a woman. So you have responsibility to nurture her as a virtuous woman.' In many cases, it seems like the men are rejecting the wise, excellent and noble women God gives to them and choose to marry the women whom they think they are pretty and charming in their own eyes, but who are aggressive and contentious later. If we have made such a choice, shouldn’t we commit ourselves to nurture our wives to be the excellent wives with a sense of responsibility? Too many men are now saying and doing irresponsible things to the women who we have chosen to marry. They are not afraid to speak cursed words to their wives, nor are they acting to make their wives feel cursed. So many wives now live without being loved by their husbands. What a miserable woman's life? We must consider our wives as blessing from God. And we must faithfully endure the responsibility to our wives whom we have chosen.
Second, we must rejoice with our wives in order to bless them.
Look at Proverbs 5:18 – “May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.” How should we, the husbands, rejoice our wives? We should let our wives’ breasts satisfy always. Look at verse 19: “A loving doe, a graceful deer-- may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.” Here, the word “may her breasts satisfy you always” means that we must be captivated by our wives’ love. In particular, we must be captivated by their virtue rather than their beauty. This is the meaning of the word “A loving doe, a graceful deer” (Park Yun-sun). In doing so, we will only rejoice the love of our “cistern” and "well" (v. 15) and we will not let ourselves to be captivated by an adulteress (v. 20). In other words, when we get satisfying refreshment sexually and affectionately from our wives (MacArthur), we will never be captivated by an adulteress or another man’s wife (v. 20). This is what King Solomon says in Proverbs 5:16-17: “Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares? Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers.” But now how many husbands are letting their spring overflow in the streets and are sharing with strangers? How many men are leaving their wives and going to other women? Now so many husbands are not always satisfied with their wives, nor are they rejoice in their wives. They are not letting themselves to be captivated by their wives’ love (v. 19). Rather, they are letting the adulteresses or another man’s wife to captivate them (v. 20).
Marital counselor M. Gary Newman conducted a research and analysis on 200 men why men are cheating, and the results are (Internet): 48% of men said that the reason for their affair is that they cannot feel emotional/mental love from their wives /lovers. We think the main reason for the men’s affair is that there is no physical affinity from wives, but only about 8% of men say "yes." Men also want emotional/mental intimacy from their wives. They want to hear from their wives "Thank you" and "I love you" more than physical affinity. However, the difference between men and women is that while women express their emotions, the men are not express emotions in them. 77% of men say they have a friend or acquaintance around them who had affair. 40 % of the men say they meet their object of affair at work. Most men have affair with a woman whom they met at the work place because they receive praise and respect from her. That is, men are interested in the woman who acknowledges (and respect) them.
If men leave their wives and have affair with other women, they will experience the consequences of their sinful choices (Prov. 5:7-14). The consequences are giving their vigor to others (v. 9), time lost (v. 9), loss of their hard-earned goods (v. 10), loss of their body (v. 11) and suffering in their conscience (vv. 12-14). Therefore, we must know the consequences of this adultery and do not give in to a harlot. But the Bible verses 21-23 talks about the higher motives. There are three motives (Walvoord):
(1) The first is that God is watching all our paths.
Look at Proverbs 5:21 - “For the ways of a man are before the eyes of the LORD, And He watches all his paths.” What does this mean? It means that God is alive and He watches all the acts of the wicked (Park Yun-sun). God is watching over all the things we do in secret. If our hearts are not captivated by our wives’ love but are captivated by another man’s wife, God will know our hearts and He will discipline us.
(2) Second, since sin causes us to be caught in a snare (1:17-18) and make us to be bounded by the cords of sin, we must not be captivated by an adulteress.
Look at Proverbs 5:22 – “The evil deeds of a wicked man ensnare him; the cords of his sin hold him fast.” Though we like to talk about enjoying freedom from sin, sinning in fact makes us slaves and makes us not enjoy true freedom.
(3) Third, we should let the consequence of living however we want without any rule in our moral life, which is death, to make us not to be captivated by the adulteress or another man’s wife.
Look at Proverbs 5:23 – “He will die for lack of discipline, led astray by his own great folly.” We must not be captivated by foolishness, and thus not receiving the instruction of God. We should never let our hearts to be captivated by the adulteress or another man’s wife. The reason is that the result is death.
The wise children of God who pay attention to the Word of God and who have the wisdom of God bless their wives or their spouse. The wise husbands bless their wives whom God has given them. And they rejoice in their wives. They are satisfied with their wives always. This refers to the relationship of the Groom Jesus, who is the Giver and the Source of blessings and His Bride, the Church. In other words, we the church should regard Jesus as our blessing. And we must rejoice in the Lord. We must always be satisfied with the Lord. May we be able to love Jesus with all our heart, with all our souls and with all our mind.