A dismayed heart
[Psalms 143]
One of my cousins was really afraid of a dark room when he was a child. As I know, the reason he was afraid of the dark room was because his father used to put him in the dark room as a discipline when he didn’t listen to his parents. As I was meditating on Psalms 143, he came into my mind because the psalmist David said in verse 4, “So my spirit grows faint within me; my heart within me is dismayed.” The meaning of the word "dismayed" here according to a Korean dictionary is s (a) very dark and (b) horrible, and according to the Korean-Chinese dictionary (a) darkness and dreariness, (b) cruel and helpless or (c) miserable (Internet). In Psalms 143:4, the psalmist said his heat is “dismayed’. Here, the word “dismayed” in Hebrew has meaning the psalmist David’s heart was afraid because of great disaster of God’s judgment due to his sins. In other words, David wrote this Psalms 143 when he was in the darkness of his life, when his spirit grew faint and his heart was dismayed due to the disaster he met as a consequence of his sins.
According to Psalms 143:4, this is wat the psalmist David said about his condition: “So my spirit grows faint within me; my heart within me is dismayed.” David spirit grew faint and his heart dismayed. Not only David said in Psalms 142:3 that “my spirit grows faint within me”, also in Psalms 143:4, “my spirit grows faint within me” again. Why did the David’s spirit grow faint? Why was his heart dismayed? This is what David said in verse 3: “The enemy pursues me, he crushes me to the ground; he makes me dwell in darkness like those long dead.” The reason David’s was dismayed was because his enemy was persecuting him. Here the enemy of David is probably Absalom, the son of David. It is because in couple of copies of the Septuagint, the title of this psalms say, ‘When his son Absalom tries to catch him’ in title (Park Yun-sun). When we think about David who was persecuted by King Saul (Ps. 142) and by his own son Absalom after he became a king (Ps. 143), there were persecutions and sufferings that made his spirit grew faint and his heart dismayed. But clear difference is that when David was persecuted by King Saul, it wasn’t because he committed sins against God but when he was persecuted by Absalom, it was due to his sins. Therefore, today's text Psalm 143 is the last of the seven repentance psalms (6, 32, 38, 51, 102, 130, and 143) (Park Yun-sun). David knew that the persecution he was suffering, and therefore his spirit grew faint and his heart was dismayed because of his sins. That was why he was sadder, bitter and desperate. How terrible was this situation where the one who wanted to kill his life was his own son Absalom? Can you imagine that the enemy who persecutes his life is his own blood? Once I imagined myself in David's position. I thought of David, who was running away from his son Absalom. How miserable and desperate the situation might be? In this situation, David said that his enemy Absalom made him dwell in darkness like those long dead (143:3).
What did David do in this painful and terrible situation? We can think of two things based on Psalms 143:
First, David remembered what the Lord had done in the past.
Look at Psalms 143:5 – “I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done.” As I continued to meditate on the Book of Psalms, I often saw the pattern of the Psalmist's prayer. One of the patterns of prayer is to remember the past work of the Lord in prayer. I am personally learning to look back on my past and trying to remember what God’s had done in my life as I pray to God. Before I meditate on the Book of Psalms and learn to remember what God had done in my life when I pray to God, I used to focus on my sinful memories and bad memories of my past. But now the Spirit has changed the focus while meditating on the Book of Psalms. Now, when I pray the Holy Spirit in me enable me to look back on the past and focus on God's actions on how He delivered me when I was going through difficult time in my life. The grace that is given to me as I was doing so, the Spirit enabled me to focus on who God is more than what He had done in my life.
I am not sure, but when I think about David in Psalms 143:5, remembering the days of long ago and meditating of all God’s works and considering what God’s hands had done, he might have remembered, meditated and considered what God had done such as delivering David from King Saul who tried to kill him in Psalms 142. One of the reasons why I think this way is because the two cases are very similar. In other words, Psalms 142 and 143 are similar in a way that David was persecuted by King Saul (Ps. 142) and Absalom (ch. 143) and David’s spirit was fainted (142:2; 143:4) and he was in misery. These similar situations are repeated in David’s life so that he could remember the grace of God's salvation in the past and trust God in his prayers to Him. I believe that there is God’s providence when similar things happen in our lives and it is for us to remember, meditate and consider God’s gracious salvation of our past so that we can trust God and His salvation in our present difficulties. As a good example, I remembered John 21:9. When Jesus appeared to His disciples in the Sea of Tiberias after His resurrection from the dead, Jesus asked Peter three times, "Simon, son of John, do you love Me?" (Jn. 21:15, 16, 17). This situation was so similar when Peter denied Jesus three times (Lk. 22:55-60). In both situations there was “a fire” (Lk. 22:55; Jn. 21:9). Look at Luke 22:55 and John 21:9 – “But when they had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and had sat down together, Peter sat down with them” (Lk. 22:55) and “When they landed, they saw a fire of burning coals there with fish on it, and some bread” (Jn. 21:9). I think when the resurrected Jesus asked Peter ‘Do you love Me?’ three times in front of the fire of burning coals, Peter probably remembered the past when he denied Jesus in front of fire in the middle of the courtyard. I think Jesus intentionally reproduced the similar situation and asked Peter ‘Do you love Me?” three times so that He could free Peter from his guilt and give him a new and a greater mission just following Him and be His disciple. What an amazing God's love and His providence? Therefore, we, like psalmist David, must remember the grace of the past that the Lord gave us when we were suffering and our hearts were from an adversity in our lives. When we are in a terrible circumstance, we must remember the grace that the Lord has given us in the past, especially in a more difficult circumstance that the present situation, and must celebrate God’s salvation and deliverance in the midst of our present difficult situation. God who answered our prayers and delivered us from the past difficult circumstance is able to deliver us whatever difficult circumstances we are in now. I hope and pray that the Lord gives us assurance of salvation as we meditate on God’s deliverance in the past.
Second and last, David prayed to the Lord.
Look at Psalms 143:6 – “I spread out my hands to you; my soul thirsts for you like a parched land. Selah.” In the midst of persecution by his enemies, David spread out his hands to the Lord as soul thirst for Him. When he was in despair and when his soul grew faint, David longed for the Lord and prayed to Him. David sought the Lord and expected Him to answer him quickly (v. 7). It was such a desperate situation. David described this desperate situation like this: “Answer me quickly, O LORD; my spirit fails. Do not hide your face from me or I will be like those who go down to the pit.” Here, let’s meditate on David’s prayer in four ways and apply it to the life of each of our prayers:
(1) David prayed to God by relying on God’s faithfulness and righteousness instead of his unfaithfulness and unrighteousness.
Look at Psalms 143:1 – “O LORD, hear my prayer, listen to my cry for mercy; in your faithfulness and righteousness come to my relief.” When David’s soul grew faint and was dismayed, he looked upon the Lord who is in control instead of focusing on his difficulty circumstance. He prayed to God as he depended on God’s faithfulness and righteousness. As we learn from Psalms 142 that when David prayed to God, he proclaimed who God is, David also proclaimed God is faithful and righteous in Psalms 143:1 when he prayed to God.
This should be our prayer habit. Like David, when we pray to God we need to proclaim who God is. When we are in a painful situation our instincts are easy to grumble and complain without know that it is the consequence of my unrepented sins against God. We should not do that. Instead, we should take that painful situation as an opportunity to reflect ourselves before God. And we must realize our unfaithfulness and unrighteousness. In doing so, we can only rely on God's faithfulness and righteousness.
(2) David pleaded with God to hear the Word of the Lord in the midst of his spirit growing faint and his heart dismayed.
Look at Psalms 143:8 – “Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.” In the midst of his spirt growing faint and his heart dismayed, David prayed to God as he relied on God's faithfulness and righteousness. As he was doing so, David asked God to let him heart the Lord’s word of unfailing love. Why did David want to hear His Word of unfailing love? The reason was because he wanted to be led by His Word. In other words, David wanted to hear the Lord's Word of His unfailing love because he wanted to learn His will and do His will (v. 10). That was why he prayed “Show me the way I should go” (v. 8).
When we are being disciplined by God for our sins, there are times when our spirits are faint and our hearts are dismayed. At that time, we must cry out to God and seek His word as David did. Why? The reason is that we must realize the way we must walk through His Word and turn to the way that He wants us to walk. Although we have sinned against God and went astray until we suffer, we must pray to God by relying on His faithfulness and righteousness and must walk in the path of God’s faithfulness and righteousness as the Lord leads us by His Word.
(3) David asked God to save him.
Look at Psalms 143:9 – “Rescue me from my enemies, O LORD, for I hide myself in you.” When David’s spirit was faint and he was dismayed in the persecution of his enemies, he hid himself in the Lord. Even when he was running away from King Saul in Psalms 142, David took refuge in the Lord because he knew he had no refuge (142:4-5). Likewise in Psalms 143, David took refuge in the Lord when he was running away from Absalom and asked Him to rescue him from his enemies (143:9). Look at the David’s prayer of salvation in Psalms 143:11 – “For your name's sake, O LORD, preserve my life; in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble.” Not only David, but we also can pray to God like this because our God is our Savior. Therefore, the God of salvation will save us from our sins when we repent of our sins and turn to Him.
(4) David asked God to judge his enemies.
Look at Psalms 143:12 – “In your unfailing love, silence my enemies; destroy all my foes, for I am your servant.” David asked God to silence and destroy his enemies who were afflicting his soul. He was able to pray like this because he was the servant of the Lord. This means that since David was the Lord's servant, but David's enemies were not, he asked the Lord to destroy his enemies but save him by remembering His chosen servant David by His lovingkindness. This should be our prayer. We should pray for God to save His chosen servants according to His lovingkindness but destroy our enemies who aren’t chosen. Therefore, God's lovingkindness and righteousness must be manifested. That is, the glory of God must be manifested through God’s salvation through His judgment.
I hope and pray that all of you may be able to experience God’s salvation as you remember the saving work of the Lord in the past and cry out to Him, no matter what terrible situations you may be in.
Remembering and praying,
James Kim
(Seeking God’s salvation)