"When my spirit was overwhelmed within me"
[Psalms 142]
Don’t you have a lot of pain these days? I think life is like a thorny bush that is tangled up with many different pains. As a result, many people are suffering from anxiety, worry, stress, and so on. So I think life is like a thorny bush. Often times these things get tangled and tangled, making our hearts hard. We then have these thoughts: "Why is my life so tangled?" It really is a life like the thorny bush. Then why my life is like the thorny bush? I find an answer in the Jesus’ parable of the seeds. Look at Matthew 13:22 – “"And the one on whom seed was sown among the thorns, this is the man who hears the word, and the worry of the world and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, and it becomes unfruitful.” The cause is the worry of the world and the deceitfulness of wealth (Internet). As we live in this world, we fall into various kinds of worldly temptations. And because we have sinned against God, there are times when these and other painful things continue to be entangled in our lives. Then we try to solve the tangled things with our own strength, but the more we try to untangle them, the more tangled we are. What do we do?
In Psalms 142, the psalmist David was tangled like a thorny bush. How can we know this? We can tell from verse 2: “I pour out my complaint before Him; I declare my trouble before Him.” Here, the word “my complaint” in Hebrew means "bush" (Park Yun-sun). This "bush" means that in David's life, there were many painful things so that he was in a state of suffocation because of he was entangled like thorny bush (Park Yun-sun). Why did David have so many painful things as to be in such suffocation? The reason was because David was persecuted by King Saul (v. 6, Park Yun-sun). King Saul and his people who were David’s persecutors (v. 6) even hid a trap for David to catch him (v. 3). King Saul was looking for David's life (1Sam. 18-24), and David was hiding from King Saul in the cave of Adullam (22:1). It seemed that David's situation was a desperate situation without hope if God didn’t intervene (MacArthur). And that desperate and hopeless situation was described like this in Psalms 142:6 – “… I am brought very low ….” In other words, David was very lowed and weak in the persecution of King Saul (v. 6, Park Yun-sun). Externally, David’s very lowed and weak state was that face that he was in the cave of Adullam to escape from King Saul [(v. 7) “Bring my soul out of prison …”]. And internally, David’s heart was trouble and his spirit was overwhelmed (vv. 2, 3). In the midst of that, we can see from Psalms 142:4 that David was completely abandoned: “Look to the right and see; For there is no one who regards me; There is no escape for me; No one cares for my soul.” When David looked around, there were no one who cared about him, no one who wanted to help him and no one to comfort him. What a miserable situation David was in. But here was the providence of God. It seemed like God was blocking everything around David. Why? The reason was that God had been working in David’s life so that he might pour out his broken heart and the contrite spirit into prayer only to God. Look at Psalms 142:1-2: “I cry aloud with my voice to the LORD; I make supplication with my voice to the LORD. I pour out my complaint before Him; I declare my trouble before Him.” In his humble state, David wasn’t discouraged. Rather in hope, he poured out all the things in prayer before God without hiding (Park Yun-sun). Look at verse 3: “When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, You knew my path In the way where I walk They have hidden a trap for me.” David was pouring out his heart to God in prayer. The reason was because his heart was broken. David's heart was hollow (v. 2) and his heart was injured. Then he poured out his heart to God in his heart. Because he had complaint, his heart was broken. That was why he was pouring out his heart to God.
Here I would like to think of three things about David's prayer. In other words, I want to think about David’s prayer in Psalm 142:5-7 and apply to our lives:
First, David's prayer was a prayer that acknowledged who God is.
Look at Psalms 142:5 – “I cried out to You, O LORD; I said, "You are my refuge, My portion in the land of the living.” David began his prayer by acknowledging and proclaiming who God is. In other words, he began his prayer with the belief that God is his refuge and his portion (v. 5). David looked at his God who is a true refuge when there is no one who regarded him, no escape for him and no one cared for his soul (v. 4). When your heart is broken, when you have complaint, do you pour out your heart to few people around you? Do you consider them as your refuge? I think it is dangerous to make people a refuge. That is building a house on sand. It is fragile and cannot but collapse. It is bound to fall in the more miserable state. We should only make God our refuge. Only the Lord, who is the refuge, will protect us, help us and comfort us. David prayed to God not just believing that God is "my refuge," but also believing and acknowledging that God is "my portion". What does “my portion” means here? It means that God is the source of life, so only those who have God can enjoy the true life (Park). So I occasionally sing this hymn: “My comfort by day, and my song in the night, My hope, my salvation, my all! ….” We must go to God, who is our refuge and our eternal life with our broken hearts and contrite spirits and pour our hearts to Him.
Second, David's prayer was a prayer for God's salvation.
Look at Psalms 142:6 – “Give heed to my cry, For I am brought very low; Deliver me from my persecutors, For they are too strong for me.” David, in his very lowly state, cried out to God to save him from King Saul. The reason why he had to cry out to God in this way is because King Saul and his people who were persecuting him were much stronger than him. Because David was severely weakened by their persecution, he took refuge in God and cried out to Him, asking for Almighty God’s grace of salvation. I often think of the gospel song “You are my all in all” in the fellowship with brothers and sisters in Christ who are in the midst of struggling and suffering: “You are my strength when I am weak You are the treasure that I seek You are my all in all ….” Maybe the reason I remembered this gospel song is because I see a glimpse how God is making them to realize their weaknesses through their struggles and sufferings. Also, God allows me to see little bit how He is strengthening them when they cried out to God in their weaknesses. And I am grateful for God's work of deliverance when I see a glimpse of their strong inner man through the power of God. I firmly believe that God has strengthened them and I am grateful. Therefore, we don’t have to be afraid of getting very weak. Rather, when we are severely weakened, we must make it an opportunity to desire the grace of God's salvation. When we are weak, we must ask Him for His strength. In doing so, God will rescue us from our weaknesses.
Third and last, David's prayer was a prayer with conviction that God’s goodness would be with him.
Look at Psalms 142:7 – “Set me free from my prison, that I may praise your name. Then the righteous will gather about me because of your goodness to me.” Although David was hiding in the prison-like cave of Adullam, he believed that God would deliver him and free him from his prison. In a word, David had assurance of deliverance. Not only David was convinced of this deliverance, but also he was convinced that the Lord would surround him. What does it mean? David, who said that there is no one who regarded him and no one who cared for him in verse 4, confessed that God is his refuge and he took refuge in Hi in verse 5 and then in verse 7 he was sure that God would surround him with the righteous. How was this possible? It was because David believed in God’s goodness (v. 7). Like David, we must return to peace in our souls as we believe God’s goodness and pray to Him when our hearts are broken. As we pour out our complaints and cry out to God and thus experience His deliverance, we should enjoy the peace of God that the world cannot give.
This world has many troubles and distresses. Also there are a lot of sinful thing and a lot of death in this world. Our life in this world is like a thorny bush. There are times when our soul is tangled into such painful things of this world. We often experience loneliness and there is no one to go to and to pour our hearts. So our spirit is overwhelmed within us. When our spirit is overwhelmed with us, we must pour out our hearts to God in prayer. As we do so, we must first acknowledge who God is and proclaim by faith that God is God. God is "my refuge". God is "my portion". We must cry out to God who is our refuge and portion to deliver us. We must cry out to Him with assurance of salvation. The reason is that our God is the God who is good to us. I hope and pray that you may experience the grace of God's salvation.
Experiencing the grace of God’s deliverance as I pray to Him in trust even when my spirit was overwhelmed within me,
James Kim
(As I think about the moment when I thanked God for giving a first successful surgery for my father-in-law)