The Lord who searches me and knows me
[Psalms 139]
On Monday evening, before going to sleep, I went into the children's room. All three of the children were reading books, and the youngest Yeun was reading hard on the bed while making voice. So I first stroked my first daughter Yeri’s head first and told her she was good and encouraged her to read her book hard. Then Yeri paid attention to the book and read hard without looking at me. Then I went to my youngest kid, Yeun, stroked her head, told her she was good, and told her to read her book hard. Then Yeun didn't even look at me too. So I came to my room and read the Bible. But after a while, Yeun came to my room with a water bottle in her mouth. And when she looked at a Christian book on the table next to my bed and asked me if I was reading it. So I said to her that I read that book once a while but now I am reading my Bible. Then Yeun opened the Christian book and saw that there were lines and asked me why I drew lines in the book. So I told her that the part that I think is important I draw line. At the same time, I showed her my Bible that I was holding and told her that I also draw a line on the sentences that I think are important. Then Yeun pointed to the Christian book and said that I can draw the line in this book, but I shouldn’t draw the line in the Bible. So I thought about how to explain to her about drawing lines in the Bible. At the same time, I need to explain to her not to scribble in the Bible. As I was thinking about it, I asked Yeun to come next to me and sit down. And I show her Isaiah 8:17 that I was reading and told her to read because there was line under that Bible verse: “I will wait for the Lord, who is hiding his face from the house of Jacob. I will put my trust in him.” When Yeun read it, she saw the word “the Lord” and said that it is okay for me to draw the line because it is important. Haha. So I asked Yeun, 'Do you trust in the Lord?' since that Bible verse of Isaiah 8:17 mentions it. Then Yeun answered “Yes”. I would like to ask you the same question: ‘Do you trust in the Lord?’ If you answered “Yes”, I may ask, 'Why are you trusting in the Lord?’ As we meditate on the words of Psalms 139, I hope and pray that we all become more dependent and trusting in our Lord while learning what kind of God is the God we trust.
In Psalms 139:1, the psalmist David confesses about God: “O LORD, You have searched me and known me.” In a word, the God we depend on and trust is the God who searches us and knows us. I hope and pray that we will all rely more and trust in God and live by faith because God is searching us and knows us.
First, the God who searches and knows us knows all our ways and existence (Ps. 139:1-4).
In Psalms 139:1-4, David said that God knew “when I sit down and when I rise up”, his thoughts (v. 2), and all his ways (v. 3), there was nothing God didn’t know a word on his tongue (v. 4). In a word, David confessed that God was an all-knowing God. How could the all-knowing God know all of David's words, ways or actions, and movements? The reason is because God made him. In other words, Creator God knew everything about David because He made David. Look at verse 13: “For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb.” Therefore, David gave thanks to God (v. 14). The reason is because David was fearfully and wonderfully made (v. 14). In other words, David gave thanks to God because “Wonderful are Your works” and David’s soul knew it very well (v. 14).
Yesterday, while reading the Book of Job, I had a moment to meditate on Job 7:17-20. The reason is because I thought it was a word that was so related to Psalms 139: “What is man that You magnify him, And that You are concerned about him, That You examine him every morning And try him every moment? Will You never turn Your gaze away from me, Nor let me alone until I swallow my spittle? Have I sinned? What have I done to You, O watcher of men? …” (Job 7:17-20a). Job confessed to the Lord that he referred to the Lord as “watcher of men” as to what generosity the Lord regarded so much that He was concerned about him, examined him every morning and paid great attention to him, and that He didn’t turn away in His attention to us even for a moment. This God knows not only our sitting and standing, but also our thoughts and all our actions. And even before we speak, He knows what we are going to say. The reason is because Creator God made us. Because we are fearfully and wonderfully made by God, God knows all of us best. We must trust in our all-knowing God, God who watches over us and knows all our ways and existence.
Second, we cannot hide from God who searches and knows us (Ps. 139:5-12).
Look at Psalms 139:7 – “Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence?” Here David is speaking of God's omnipresence. In other words, God can be anywhere at the same time as He isn’t bound by time or place. This God is with us as the all-knowing God who knows us best wherever we are. Therefore, we cannot escape from Him (Jere. 23:23, 24; Am 9:2). We cannot escape the surveillance of God. As David said, because God has surrounded David or us, we cannot escape His surveillance. And because God's hand is always holding us, we cannot escape from His jurisdiction (v. 5, Park). This is because David knew this fact a little bit, so he confessed: “Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is too high, I cannot attain to it” (v. 6). He confessed that he could not escape and hide from the omnipresent God, whether in heaven, in Sheol, in the remotest part of the sea, and in the darkness (vv. 8-12). That’s why he said, “Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence?” (v. 7)
We must listen to the prophet Isaiah: “Woe to those who deeply hide their plans from the LORD, And whose deeds are done in a dark place, And they say, ‘Who sees us?’ or ‘Who knows us?’” (Isa. 29:15) If we, like the Israelites, honor God with our lips, but our hearts are far away from Him (v. 13), and commit sins in the dark and say, “Who see us?” or “Who knows us?”, then the Bible says there is woe to us (v. 15). We cannot hide from God's omniscience and God's omnipresence. God knows every step of the way and He is the God who is with us wherever we are. This God is our Immanuel God. The God who is always with us is the God who is with us wherever we are. It is blessing for us to live in His omnipresence. The blessing is, for example, as Psalms 121 says, God protects and keeps us without sleeping or slumbering. God will not allow our foot to slip (v. 3). In this God, we must rely and trust.
Third and last, the God who searches and knows us is most concerned in us (Ps. 139:17-18).
Look at Psalms 139:17-18: “How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand When I awake, I am still with You.” The psalmist David, who knew that all-knowing and omnipresence God knew him the best and loved him the most and thus was most concerned in him, confessed, “How precious also are Your thoughts to me” because he knows that God’s precious thoughts to him cannot be counted and they outnumber the sand. Also, what about David's heart when he woke up and realized that the omnipresent God was with him and His thoughts toward him were so many? David's heart was grateful because he realized that all God’s attention and focus were on him, and for the precious love of God (v. 14). In such gratitude, David had assurance. That assurance was that God loved David the most and that God would destroy David's enemies. In addition to this assurance, David was convinced that God would save him by judging the wicked. And this assurance was based on God's omniscience, God's omnipotence, and especially God's lovingkindness. In other words, David knew that God knew him the best and loved him the most, so he was sure that God would save him by judging the wicked.
Personally, I love Psalms 139. The reason is because I can feel God's love for me. Whenever I thought about the fact that God loves me so much that His thoughts toward me cannot be counted like the grains of sand on a sandy beach, I get encouraged and I am grateful. No matter how much I think about it, I have no choice but to be grateful for God's great love and great concern and has countless thoughts for such person like me who doesn’t deserve His love. We must trust this God.
We cannot hide from God who knows us best and loves us the most. Therefore, as David prayed, we must also say this prayer to God: “Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way” (vv. 23-24). We who live by experiencing the great love of God, we must pray that God would search us and know us. And we should pray that God would test us and know our anxious thoughts. Like David, we must pray that our hearts and wills are worthy of God's sight before God of love who is omniscient and omnipresent. Let us pray earnestly to God that there is no offensive way in us.
With gratitude to the God who searches me, knows me the best, and loves me the most,
James Kim
(Looking at Heavenly Father who cares such sinner like me the most)