Comfort myself!
[Psalms 119:49-56]
Today, I heard the news of the division of a big Korean church belonging to the PCUSA denomination in the American Christian newspaper and I am worried about what will happen to that church in the future. Even in the PCA denomination to which our church belongs, the Korean church, which was already a big church, was divided into two and worship separately in one church building. Especially when I think of my brothers and sisters in Christ who will be hurt, this is a very sad reality. These days I have a lot of thoughts like this. It is the thought that the church isn’t a place to be healed, but rather a place to be hurt. Perhaps that is why I think that it is a time in desperate need for a comforter like Barnabas whose heart is burning with God’s love.
Personally, I have been praying to God for a long time to become a comforter whose heart is burning with God’s love. But this time, due to the resignation of my beloved English ministry pastor, I saw myself in pains and tears, refusing to be comforted by anyone. Perhaps the reason was because it was very painful and hurting. After going through such a process, in light of Psalms 119:49-56. the question is, ‘How can a pastor develop spiritual self-power to comfort himself?’ The reason is because if the pastor cannot comfort himself, he cannot comfort the flocks whom the Lord has entrusted him.
I think we refuse to be comforted when we are so sick and distressed. When the pain and suffering are so great that we cannot endure ourselves, we are at risk of despair. There is a danger of becoming natural to be more discouraged, more disappointed, and more ill to live in suffering and hurt. But the surprising fact is that even though the psalmist in Psalms 119:49-56 was in his affliction (Ps. 119:50), he comforted himself (v. 52). So, while meditating on the words of Psalms 119:49-56, I would like to think about two answers how to develop the spiritual self-power in comforting ourselves like the psalmist.
First, there is one thing we must not do in order to develop the spiritual self-power in comforting ourselves, is that we must be on guard against the arrogant who speak to our souls.
The psalmist said that the arrogant utterly derided him (v. 51). What was the evil intention or purpose of the arrogant? Its purpose was to make the psalmist turn aside from the law of the Lord (v. 51). What a terrifying Satanic scheme. Just as a wicked man pulls a fish out of a fishbowl and tries to kill it, Satan uses a arrogant to take us out of the fishbowl of the Word and kill us badly. Psalms 14:1 came to mind when I thought about what the gross ridicule of that arrogant: “The fool has said in his heart, "There is no God. ….” Especially when we are in trouble like the psalmist, like the foolishly proud mocking, we tend to ask our own souls, 'If there is God, why doesn't He deliver me from this pain?', 'Why should I suffer such pain and wounds? ' In the midst of that, we see that we are filled with victim mentality. We tend to blame of people, environment, and even God. In that sense, our pride is being exposed in the midst of trouble. We doubt God's existence, reject His helping hand, and let the pain and circumstances we face dominate our souls. Eventually, we see in our troubles the tendency to fall for Satan's schemes and forsake the word of the Lord. And it seems that we spend each day in pain and tears without knowing this at that moments. I mean I was like this. Because of the resignation of my beloved co-worker, I spent day by day in pain and tears. Although I tried hard to practice the word of God and prayer in my own way, I couldn't let His word to control my heart. I spent about 3 weeks day by day in a daze. In the end, Satan caused me to forget the word of the Lord through pain, tears, and distress, and thus causes the symptoms of spiritual dementia. Therefore, leaving and forsaking His word, I made myself more discouraged and sad. We should never be wary and prevent Satan from speaking to our souls using the ridicule of the arrogant. In doing so, we will be able to develop our spiritual self-power to comfort ourselves.
Second and last, there are three things we must do to develop the spiritual self-power to comfort ourselves:
(1) The first thing we must do is to remember the Lord’s promises (119:49, 52, 55).
The psalmist comforted himself by remembering the “ordinances” of the Lord (v. 52). Here, the Lord’s “ordinances” refer to the word of God that has been revealed to be true from a long time ago and that stands firmly (Park). In other words, the psalmist remembered the word of God's promise that had been revealed to be true from his past life and stood firmly. For example, it’s like remembering the Lord's promise to our church ‘I will build My church’ (Mt. 16:18) and thinking about the evidences that the Lord has been building this church in various ways for past years according to His promise. As the psalmist looked back on the past, he found true comfort in his soul, thinking about the faithfulness of God in fulfilling His promise. So the psalmist confessed, “This (the word of the Lord’s promise) is my comfort in my affliction, That Your word has revived me” (Ps. 119:50).
We seem to be running busy just looking ahead. When we run hard and face difficulties or adversity like a psalmist as we pursue our future goals, successes and so on, we need to think about it at least once: ‘The Lord is giving me an opportunity to pause and see through these difficulties and adversity to look back at my life and remember the footsteps of how the Lord has fulfilled the word of promise.’ Now we are living a life in which we are just looking ahead and running toward our own selfish goals without any hesitation. That’s why it is good for us that we are afflicted (v. 71). When we have time to look back, we shouldn’t remember the painful wounds or bad memories of the past, but the footsteps of God's faithful grace. In particular, like the psalmist, we must remember and hold on to the word of the Lord's promises more and more “in the night” (v. 55) when the painful things that darkens our hearts continue to come.
(2) The second thing we must do is to hold on to the Lord’s word of promise and cry out to God.
This is how the psalmist cried out to God in Psalms 119:49 – “Remember the word to Your servant, In which You have made me hope.” As he remembered the word of the Lord's promise, and held on to it, he prays to the Lord: ‘Lord, you gave me Your promised words. Please remember those words.’ Of course, our Lord doesn’t forget the promises He has given us. However, there are many times we forget those words of promises in trouble. The reason why the psalmist prayed to the Lord to remember His words of the promise is because the Lord made him hope.
In a way, it seems that when we are in extreme trouble and suffering, the light of the Lord’s words of promise given to us shines more and more hopefully, as if the light shines brighter and brighter in the extreme darkness. Therefore, like the psalmist, we must also fall down in great pain and trouble, proclaiming the word of promise to the Lord in our prayers. Because we knew that we have no hope elsewhere through extreme pain and trouble, we must go to the Lord alone, confessing that only hope is the Lord and His promises. We must experience the work of the word of God by the Holy Spirit who revives our lonely souls that cannot be comforted with anything in the garden of solitude while praying with His words of hope.
(3) The third and last thing we must do is to keep the Lord’s laws (commandments).
In other words, even if we are in extreme pain and trouble, we shouldn’t leave the Lord's laws, but rather keep them better. The way to overcome Satan's schemes is not to leave the word of God, but rather be closer to His word, holding on to His word of promise, and gaining spiritual power through prayer and taking the lead in practicing His word. The psalmist kept the Lord's law (vv. 55, 56). Furthermore, he confessed that observing the Lord’s precepts had become his (v. 56). How can we possess the word of God? How can we make His words that we hear and learn to be our own possession? It's simple. We just have to live according to His word. That’s why the psalmist did when he was in trouble. We will not be able to deny that there are many times when we are drawn to our sinful nature and don’t live according to His commandments when we are comfortable.
As we live, we live by exchanging affliction, pains, hurts and wounds. Especially, in the church called the body of the Lord, we are exchanging affliction, pains, hurts and wounds with each other. Unfortunately, however, we are not making this "affliction" beneficial to us. The reason is because, like the psalmist, we have weak spiritual self- power to comfort ourselves. Like the psalmist, we must cultivate spiritual self-power to comfort ourselves. Therefore, we must live the life of a true comforter like Barnabas.
With heart of gratitude to the Lord for giving me the opportunity to be afflicted and thus to develop spiritual self-power to comfort myself,
James Kim
(After asking the Lord to raise me up as a comforter with burning heart of love again at a prayer meeting)