Spiritual fuel
"Your word I have treasured in my heart, That I may not sin against You. … This has become mine, That I observe Your precepts" (Psalms 119:11, 56).
I felt anxious again as I attended the morning prayer meeting this morning. Previously, I was in a church car and came out to the morning prayer meeting, and there was no gasoline. So I suffered a bit of anxiety because there is no gasoline in the car and I couldn’t go to church for the morning prayer. Today I was in my car, and the gasoline measuring needle was almost at the bottom. So, while praying, I drove with the hope that the Lord would help me get off Highway 2 and get to Arco gas station. Thankfully, after arriving at the Arco gas station, I put gasoline in my car. And I accelerated and speeded up to get to the church safely.
Thinking about this happening this morning, I proclaimed the words of Psalm 119:11 and 56 during the morning prayer meeting. The psalmist treasured the word of God in his heart (v. 11). He treasured His word in his heart so as not to sin against God. A life of obedience to that word was the psalmist’s possession (v. 56). In other words, the psalmist was full of spiritual fuel. Therefore, even if the temptation to commit a sin came to him, he was drawn to the word of God and escaped from the temptation, as if by stepping on the acceleration of a car to speed up.
But as I examine myself and asked myself ‘Why am I unable to speed up the word like the psalmist?’, I think it’s because the spiritual fuel isn’t being filled (supplied) from time to time. It's as if I haven't been riding my car for a week, so I don't know how much gasoline was in my car's fuel tank, I don't know how much my spiritual fuel I used in the chasing life of faith as I'm busy serving. When I am supplied with the living and energetic word of God, which is my spiritual fuel and when I apply it to my life and make it my own, my spiritual tank is filled with fuel so that I have to quickly get out of the world's many temptations. I would do it, but I think the reason why I cannot do that is because my spiritual fuel is insufficient. Another reason is because even if there is spiritual fuel, I think it is important what kind of fuel is there. In other words, when I put gasoline in my car, I put Regular Unleaded almost every time. The reason is because it is the cheapest gasoline I can put in my car. However, when I drove a long distance this time to Arizona, where my father-in-law's house was, I remember putting in Premium Unleaded. My wife told me that Premium Unleaded gasoline is better than Regular Unleaded, so it is good for long-distance driving. But the better gasoline than Premium Unleaded is Super Unleaded. This gasoline is expensive per gallon, so I almost never put it in. Likewise, I think that my spiritual fuel can be divided into three. I think the cheapest Regular Unleaded can refer to the spiritual state of knowing the word of God with its head. In other words, it refers to His word in our heads as information. A better gasoline Premium Unleaded can be referred to as receiving grace through His word and trying to apply it a little but often falls down. The reason is because the roots are not deep. Lastly, the best gasoline, Super Unleaded, can be referred to as applying God's word to our lives and being transformed. I think it refers to a life in which roots are embedded and bear fruit. Perhaps the psalmist's spiritual fuel was not made his own while applying God's word like Super Unleaded. That is why he thinks that the words have also brought him back to life.
I was anxious to see the gasoline in my car today. In prayer, I remembered what the psalmist had said to his soul, “And why have you become disturbed within me?” (42:5, 11, 43:5). When spiritual fuel is scarce, the soul is bound to be insecure. Also, we are bound to disappoint. That is why I checked my spiritual fuel frequently and instructed me to refill when the signal came so that the needle was not pointing at the bottom. I think it would be better to always supply spiritual fuel from the Lord before the signal comes. I'm sure that filling my spiritual fuel tank with the best "spiritual gasoline" will speed up and over any kind of temptations. As if I was going to use a car and regularly and constantly put gasoline in the fuel tank, I always fill my own spiritual fuel tank with the best spiritual fuel of God's word to speed up the Word no matter what the temptations of the world come. I want to take it out and 'run away' like Joseph. This morning, after checking my own spiritual fuel tank, meditating, proclaiming, and praying, I wrote down the words I gave while meditating again, filling my spiritual fuel tank with the best "spiritual gasoline" in obedience to His word.
With gratitude for God’s teachings this morning which was my spiritual fuel,
James Kim
(While praying for speeding up with God’s word in my long-termed spiritual journey)