“But I am in prayer”
[Psalms 109]
Who will God use? Yesterday, while exercising at YMCA and listening to a lecture by a president of Reformed Theological Seminary in Charlotte on MP3, there was a word that came to my heart among the words God wrote about Moses. It was the word about Moses’ 120 years of life by dividing it into three parts that show how God gradually prepared Moses in order to use him: (1) When Moses was in Egypt for 40 years, he thought he was SOMETHING, (2) When Moses was in Midian for 40 years, he began to understand that he was NOTHING, (3) When Moses led the Israelites in the wilderness for 40 years, he knew that God used NOTHING. As I listened to this lecture, I thought about where I am now. Perhaps it goes back and forth between (1) and (2). I often mistake myself thinking that I am SOMETHING. Then God loves me and teaches me that I am nothing. That SOMETHING seems to be making me greedy and arrogant. Whenever I do, God is leading me into the wilderness and humbles me. God makes me quiet before Him alone, and exposes my sins in my heart with His holy words and makes me to repent my sins. I am comforted and strengthened by God's tender words to me (Hos 2:14). I remember the words of Mark 9:29 – “And He said to them, ‘This kind cannot come out by anything but prayer.’” Just as Jesus taught us that we cannot cast out demons except by prayer, it seems that we only have prayer to empty our sinful things such as greed and pride.
In Psalms 109:4, the psalmist David says: “In return for my love they act as my accusers; But I am in prayer.” This means that David loved his enemies, but his enemies were against David. In such situation, David said, “… But I am in prayer” (v. 4). How, then, did David's enemies resist David? They opposed David with evil words. Look at verses 2-3: “For they have opened the wicked and deceitful mouth against me; They have spoken against me with a lying tongue. They have also surrounded me with words of hatred, And fought against me without cause.” David's enemies made violent wickedness to harm David (‘wicked mouth’) and also tried to harm David with false words (‘deceitful mouth’). Furthermore, they oppressed David, who had no transgressions, forcing him to be guilty (“fought against me without cause”) (Park). David's enemies repaid David evil for good and hatred for his love (v. 5).
The tongue is indeed beneficial, but at the same time, there are scary aspects. The beneficial side of the tongue is that, of course, we can preach the gospel, speak good words, comfort and encourage others, and have gracious words. But the scary side of the tongue is it hurts and injures others. It also slander, spread lies and rumors, and even bury a person. Not long ago, there was an article on CNN Internet news about a 13-year-old girl who took her own life. Maygan Meyer, 13, a girl from Missouri, USA, met a boy named Josh Evans, 16, at Myspace, an American online relationship' site. She fell in love with Josh because he tempted her with such word as ‘You are sexy.’ As they kept sending and receiving each other's messages, Josh said that he was suddenly leaving. So Maygan clung onto him and told him to come back. But Josh sent a message saying, ‘Without you, the world would be a better place’ and Maygan hanged herself 20 minutes later and eventually died. Maygan's parents soon discovered that Josh was actually a woman in the same neighborhood, Lori Drew, 49 (Internet). In this case, the mother of a friend of a girl who committed suicide, disguised as a boy and dating a girl on the Internet site 'My Space'. She later inflicted a deep wound with a violent swearing or ill-treatment, and eventually the girl committed suicide. I think it is an event that sounds the alarm about the danger of malicious rumors or malicious comments spreading across the Internet. So, the apostle James says, “But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison” (Jam. 3:8).
David's enemies opposed David with their tongues, the a restless evil and full of deadly poison. They loved cursing, and they were also clothed themselves with cursing as with their garments (Ps. 109:17-18). They were not happy to bless others. Rather, they rejoiced and liked to curse. Why did David's enemies like to curse David? David said the reason: “Because he did not remember to show lovingkindness, But persecuted the afflicted and needy man, And the despondent in heart, to put them to death” (v. 16). David's enemies were those who didn’t think of any compassion for the poor and needy and the broken hearted. Rather, they persecuted and tried to kill the poor, needy, and broken hearts. These cruel people opposed David. They cursed David with their tongues. In this situation, David prayed to God. NIV says “I am a man of prayer” and NASB says “But I am in prayer”. In other words, David said, “But I am praying” in the situation where his enemies were cursing and trying to harm him with their evil tongue. The literal translation of the original Hebrew language is ‘But I prayer’. This means that David himself is praying. In other words, it means that his life was made up of prayer (Park). So, what was David's prayer content? We can think of it in two main ways (Park):
(1) David prayed for God's discipline to come upon his enemies (Ps. 109:6-20).
David prayed to God that the wicked would control his enemies (v. 6). They deserve to be condemned, and their prayers are only temporary flattery, not genuine prayers of repentance, so they are bound to be condemned rather than receiving God's answer (v. 7). Psalms 109:8-16 is a prayer that David asks God for his enemies, the evil ones, to be punished (Park). And the prayer of verses 17-20 is a prayer asking God to repay his enemies who love to curse him.
(2) David prayed for God’s deliverance (Ps. 109:21-31).
This prayer of deliverance that David offered to God was a prayer that God saw his pitiful situation and was compassionate to save him (vv. 22-25). He said that he was afflicted and needy, and that his heart was wounded (v. 22). And he was passing like a shadow when it lengthened (v. 23) and his knees were weak from fasting (v. 24). That was why he relied on God's lovingkindness and asked God for help and deliverance (v. 26). David prayed that his enemies would know that God had saved him (v. 27). And he had assurance of salvation (v. 28). He surely believed that God would stand at his right hand, the needy, and deliver him from his enemies. Also, David prayed to God that even if his enemies poured a curse on him, He would turn the curse back and bless him (v. 28). And he prayed to God that his enemies (v. 18), who clothed themselves with cursing as with their garments, “let them cover themselves with their own shame as with a robe” (v. 29). Relying on God's lovingkindness, he prayed to God, and he was convinced that God would answer his prayers. So he decided: “With my mouth I will give thanks abundantly to the LORD; And in the midst of many I will praise Him” (v. 30).
Let us pray like David no matter what difficulties, adversities, and unfair circumstances we may face. Even if our enemies try to harm us with evil words, let us always pray as if we were saying “But I am in prayer” (v. 4). God will punish our enemies and deliver us from their hands. Therefore, we will greatly give thanksgiving and praise to our God with our mouths.
“But I am in prayer”,
James Kim
(As I trust in God’s great lovingkindness)