My weakness

“And I say: `My weakness is, …” (Psalms 77:10) (Young’s Literal Translation).

As the years pass by, we become more aware of how weak a person is.  Particularly in the face of adversity and suffering, we feel our weaknesses.  In particular, we feel more helpless in front of greater adversity and suffering that we cannot bear them any longer.  What should we do then?

                In Psalms 77:10, the psalmist Asaph admits to his weakness. He expressed his weaknesses in four ways (vv. 1-9):

              First, Asaph was disturbed.

Look at Psalms 77:3a – “When I remember God, then I am disturbed ….”  There is a lot of trouble and hardship in this world.  There are also many things that make us anxious and disturb.  Why are we disturbed?  One of the reasons is that we are abandoned by our loved one(s).  In particular, we Christians are distrubed when we feel abandoned by our beloved God (43:2).  In Psalms 77, Asaph looked for the Lord in the day of his trouble (77:2).  But he was disturbed because God's answer of his prayer was slow.  A heart that is disturbed and filled with anxiety is weak heart.

Second, Asaph’s spirit grew faint.

Look at Psalms 77:3b – “”…  When I sigh, then my spirit grows faint. Selah.”  On the day of trouble, Asaph’s spirit grew faint when he was disturbed and anxious.  So he couldn't sleep, and was so troubled that he couldn't speak (v. 4).  When we are too distressed, we cannot sleep or speak.  I still remember that I couldn’t sleep for three weeks when I was having a hard time pastoring.  I remember experiencing extreme stress that I couldn't eat even though the food was in front of me.  Many people are so difficult and distressed that they cannot sleep and eat properly.  If we tell someone we love, ‘I’m in pain these days,’ it may not still be that painful.  Some suffering is so painful that nothing can truly be said.  Such anguish makes us silent.  It makes us silent not only in front of people but in front of God.  Suffering hurts our hearts.  And a broken heart is a weak heart

Third, Asaph’s soul refused to be comforted.

Look at Psalms 77:2b – “…  My soul refused to be comforted.”  Asaph was in distress enough to refuse to be comforted.  He, who was asleep amidst anxiety and in unspeakable distress, was so injured in his heart that he refused to receive comfort.  I remember the book of Job.  When Job was in the midst of excruciating pain and distress, his friends came to comfort him.  But Job referred to them as “Sorry comforters” (Job 16:2).  When a person is so distressed and in extreme pain, he doesn’t want to be comforted by anyone.  The reason is because he knows that no one can comfort him.  That's not always the case in our lives.  We refuse to receive comfort from anyone because we believe that only God can comfort us.  Those who refuse to receive comfort in this way are those who are in the midst of weakness.

             Fourth, Asaph doubted God.

                Look at Psalms 77:7-9: “Will the Lord reject forever? And will He never be favorable again?  Has His lovingkindness ceased forever? Has His promise come to an end forever?  Has God forgotten to be gracious, Or has He in anger withdrawn His compassion? Selah.”  Asaph cried out to God in the midst of trouble, but there was no answer.  So his heart and spirit became weak.  As a result, Asaph began to doubt about God's salvation in the midst of such weakness.  In other words, Asaph's assurance of salvation was shaken.  This uncertainty shows that his heart was weak.  The weakened heart has two hearts.  One heart seems to believe in God, and the other heart has distrust in God.  Eventually, disbelief can only sprout in anxiety, distress, a broken heart, and a heart that refuses to receive comfort.

                What should we do when we are so weak?

First, we must remember the past deeds of the Lord.

                Look at Psalms 77:11a – “I shall remember the deeds of the LORD ….”  When it's too hard and the heart is afflicted, we must remind ourselves of the saving grace God has given us in the past in our weakness.  Personally when I am in difficult and hardship, I often think about Charis, my first baby who died in my arms in the past.  The reason is because it has never been as painful for me as then.  But there is no more pain in the heart.  However, only the grace and love that God has given to me remains in my heart.  That's why I remember and I celebrate.  When I remember and commemorate God's grace and love that He gave me in my present distressing and difficult situation, I experience God’s work of reviving my weakened heart and spirit.  I get strength again.  When I remember and celebrate, God's strength will be manifested in my weakness.

              Second, we must declare what God has done for us.

                Look at Psalms 77:11b, 12b – “…  Surely I will remember thy wonders of old.  …  and talk of thy doings” (KJV).  We must not only remember what God has done in the past, but also declare it.  Sometimes my church elderly people said to me why I'm still talking about my deceased first baby Joo-young (Charis).  Nevertheless, I sometimes tell her story even during sermons.  The reason is because I cannot help but to share the grace and love that God gave me through Joo-young.  It is because I want to boast the Lord.  It is because I saw the glory of the Lord as the name of “Joo-young” means.  It is because if the Lord was not with me and my wife, neither of us could overcome.  When we remember and share what God has done in the past, we experience the work of God that strengthens our weak hearts.

             Third and last, we must meditate of all God’s work.

                Look at Psalms 77:12 – “I will meditate on all Your work And muse on Your deeds.”  Asaph, not only remembered God's wonders in the past day of trouble in his weakness and declared what He had done, he also meditated on God who was working not only in the past but also in the present trouble more comprehensively.  In fact, if we focus on the painful circumstances we face in our weakness, we will not be able to see what God is doing.  However, when we focus on what God had done in the past, we believe that the same God is working in the present, and we will see the Lord's works through that faith.  However, Asaph didn’t stop there but meditated on what God would do in the future.  These meditations are deep meditations that cannot be done without faith in the Lord.  It is meditation that is possible only through faith.  This is the secret to overcoming our weaknesses.  When we deeply meditate on all things that God did for us, we can overcome our weaknesses.

It seems that there are many times when we suffer from anxiety and distress that our bodies become weaker as the years pass.  In the meantime, sleepless nights increase, and we suffer from unspeakable suffering.  Although our broken hearts earnestly seek God, we doubt about God and refused to be comforted us when we think that God's answer to our earnest prayers is slow.  In that time, we must think of God's past wonders.  As we meditate on what He had done, we must also declare it.  I hope and pray that we can overcome our weakness as we deeply meditate on all that God has done for us.

Enjoying the abundant grace and love of God who gives me strength when I am weak,

James Kim

(As I want to realize my incompetence and helplessness more and more thoroughly)