"let me know how fleeting is my life"
[Psalms 39]
A pastor wrote the words ‘My condolences to you, James Kim’ on my Cyworld homepage guestbook. The reason was because my name is James Kim and the person who died was James Kim as well. It was pity when I read the title of the article ‘James Kim found dead in heavy snow’ through that pastor. James Kim, a Korean-American who disappeared in heavy snow and discovered in a dead body on the 12th days later, while traveling with his family and turned the wrong way. The news of the death of husband and father James Kim, who left his family in the car to ask for help to save his wife and their two children (4 years and 7 months), was sad for many people in the world. After I heard this, I thought about my own death. In other words, I was thinking about my own end. If I know my own end and know how long I can live, I'm thinking about how I will live the rest of my life.
In Psalms 39:4 says, David was in pain. We can think about the causes of his suffering in two ways: (1) The first cause of his pain was “the wicked” or “fools” (vs. 1, 8) and (2) The second cause of his pain was ‘disease’ (vv. 10, 11, 13). In the midst of these, David prayed God, “Show me, O LORD, my life's end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life” (v. 4). In other words, David wished to know his own weakness by knowing his own end and remaining period. David prayed to God that he would realize that his life was short when he was suffering because of wickedness and disease (Park). David wanted to realize how painlessly life would flow quickly. Based on Psalms 39:4, under the heading “let me know how fleeting is my life”, I want to learn three lessons about how to live each day, as we realize how fleeting is the life of suffering saints.
First, we must be watch our words and actions as we realize that our suffering life is fleeting.
Look at Psalms 39:1 – “I said, ‘I will watch my ways and keep my tongue from sin; I will put a muzzle on my mouth as long as the wicked are in my presence.’” Many of us later regret saying, ‘Why did I act like this, why did I say this?’ In other words, it’s useless to regret later after the words that we have already poured our from our mouths. So is the action. We often regret after we have acted so impatiently and have made a problem bigger. That's why we have to work hard to think first and speak and think first and act. In other words, we need to be careful in our words and actions. As I searched the Internet, I read that this article appeared under the heading ‘The Evangelist's Posture’: ‘The evangelist doesn’t go to the field of evangelism as an individual, but as a representative of the church and instead of the Lord. So we should evangelize with the sense of responsibility as His representative. … As an ambassador for the church and the Lord, the evangelist must have sense of mission to meet unbelievers, and his attitude and words must be prudent and commendable’ (Internet). As this article says, we must be careful and commendable for our attitude and words and actions as an evangelists. Then why did David careful in his words and actions in his suffering? This was because David tried to not to commit the sin of blaming God in adversity in the midst of a situation where it was difficult for him to endure (Park). As we meditate on the words of Psalms 38:12-22, we have been taught that we need to become deaf and mute (v. 13). In other words, when we are suffering because of the wicked, we must not listen to the wicked’s words and try to defend ourselves with words. Rather, we must open our ears to hear God’s voice and open our mouths and cry out to God. In Psalms 38, David was silent before the wicked. Why was he silent in front of the wicked? The reason was that David tried not to sin against God with his lips. How wise this is. When there is resentment or complaint to the God in our hearts when we are suffering, we need to close our mouths and be silent. Also, we need to remain silent even when there is complaint and resentment toward the church leaders. Otherwise, we are more likely to sin against God because of our imprudent words and actions. But it seems like our human mouth doesn't stand still. I think if we aren’t talking, our mouths seem to be dizzy. And I think there is tendency in us that we must speak so that we feel relieved. That’s why Apostle James said about the tongue in James 3:8-10: “But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way.” So David said in Psalms 39:1b – “… I will put a muzzle on my mouth ….” The reason why he was silent in the midst of receiving God’s discipline (vv. 8, 9) and of listening to the scorn of the wicked was because he knew that to some extent he deserved to be mocked by the wicked (Park). David was suffering not only from the wicked, but also more from the sickness of God's discipline for his sin (Park). Therefore, David was silent before God in order not to sin against Him because he knew that he was being punished for his sin. How should we live? We must know our weaknesses and be careful with our words and actions when we are suffering. We shouldn’t act recklessly, and open our mouths recklessly and commit sins against God and His people. We must be more cautious Therefore, we must live right in front of God, knowing how fleeting our life is.
Second, we must meditate as we realize that our suffering life is fleeting.
Look at Psalms 39:3 – “My heart grew hot within me, and as I meditated, the fire burned; then I spoke with my tongue:” If we realize that our life is fleeting, we should stop and meditate in our busy life. We shouldn't live quickly and fast in the fast passing years. Even if we are told by the people in this world that we are slow, we should stop and think about life. This week, I read this mission letter from a Central Asian missionary sponsored by our church. The missionary asked our church members to pray for him about this: ‘Pray for me so that I can slow down and love my wife and children and those whom God has let me meet here.’ The reason he asked for this prayer topic was because he was challenged by what John Ortberg said in the book: ‘The most serious cause of illness in a hurry is a decrease in the ability to love. … Love and hurry are fundamentally contradictory. Love always takes time. But for those who are in a hurry, there is no time.' We need to slow down a bit in this fast-paced world. We need to walk slowly, not in a hurry. In this flowing stream like time, we need to stop and look back our lives in front of God and have time of meditation.
David meditated on life before God in his suffering as he was being careful with his words and actions. In the midst of that, he has four conclusions of his meditation:
(1) The first conclusion of David’s meditation is that life is short.
David made this poetic in today's Psalms 39:5 – “You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. ….” The expression that life is like “a mere handbreadth” and that our years is as “nothing” in God's eyes is a poetic expression of our human life's short life (Park).
(2) The second conclusion of David’s meditation is that life is nothing.
Our life is momentarily in this earth. After we will leave. Look at Psalms 39:5b – “… Surely every man at his best is a mere breath. Selah.” In verse 11, David confessed, “Surely every man is a mere breath. Selah.” Apostle James draws this conclusion in James 4:14 – “Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.” David said that our lives are like “a phantom” (Ps. 39:6).
(3) The third conclusion of David’s meditation is that people make an uproar for nothing.
Look at Psalms 39:6 – “… Surely they make an uproar for nothing. He amasses riches and does not know who will gather them.” According to Apostle James, there were people like this among the recipients of his letter: “… Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit” (Jam. 4:13).
(4) Fourth and last conclusion of David’s meditation is “My hope is in You.”
Look at Psalms 39:7 – “And now, Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in You.” David, who silently meditated in suffering, lamented and finally put his hope in the Lord when he deeply realized the nothingness of life. As we meditate like David, we need to deeply realize the nothingness of this world. Furthermore, we should realize the nothingness of our short life as we watch we make the uproar for nothing. Then, like David, we can truly confess, ‘My hope is in the Lord/’
Third and last, we must pray as we realize that our suffering life is fleeting.
Look at Psalms 39:12 – “Hear my prayer, O LORD, and give ear to my cry; Do not be silent at my tears; For I am a stranger with You, A sojourner like all my fathers.” David humbly accepted his suffering whether it was by the wicked or disease because he knew that because of his sin. So he wanted to be cautious so that he wouldn’t commit greater sins against God. Like David, we should be able to realize our own sins against God when we are suffering. If not, we may complain to God and blame Him when we think about why we are suffering. That was why David said “I will guard my mouth as with a muzzle” (v. 1). But when David was silent without opening his mouth, his anguish increased (v. 2). Why was that? Why did his anguish increase when he was silent? The reason was because he wanted to ask God for his painful feeling of being victimized (Park). In other words, David’s anguish increased because he would suffer even more if he didn’t open his mouth and pray to God. My personal thought is that when David was silent, the reason his anguish increased was not only because he couldn't pray to God for his feeling of being victimized, but also because his heart was burning because he didn’t pour out his sin to God. Look at Psalms 39:8-9: “Save me from all my transgressions; do not make me the scorn of fools. I was silent; I would not open my mouth, for you are the one who has done this.” Here, David knew that the cause of his suffering was entirely the price of his own sin, and he was convinced that being forgiven by God was the key to solving the problem (Park). That was why he asked God to forgive his sin: “Look away from me, that I may rejoice again before I depart and am no more” (v. 13). David, who prayed for forgiveness of his sin, was no longer silent before God, but he asked Him to forgive his sin: “"Hear my prayer, O LORD, listen to my cry for help; be not deaf to my weeping. For I dwell with you as an alien, a stranger, as all my fathers were” (v. 12).
Years are flowing as fast as water flowing. Our lives are not that long. Rather, the Bible says that our lives are short. In this world that we come for a while and will leave, we should not be busy in vain. We must only put our hope in the Lord and strive to live a life that obeys His word. The Word of God that we receive is that we must be careful with our words and actions when we are suffering, we must meditate, and pray to God. Until the day and the moment when the Lord calls us, we must be careful with our words and actions, must meditate and pray as we realize and acknowledge that our lives are truly fragile and weak: “let me know how fleeting is my life” (v. 4).
As I am heading toward that Higher Place,
James Kim
(Considering the news of James Kim’s death as my death)