“O my God, do not be far from me!”
[Psalms 38:21-22]
In the book “The Problem of Pain”, written by C. S. Lewis, a great thinker of the 20th century, who tried to spread Christian love and faith with a cold mind and warm gaze, he asked this question: ‘If God is good and omnipotent, why does He allow creatures to suffer?’ In other words, the question is, ‘If God is all-powerful and good, why does evil and suffering coexist in this world?’ Have any of you ever asked this question like C. S. Lewis? Especially when you were suffering, didn't you ask the question, ’If God is good, why is He giving me this pain and just leave me alone?’ C. S. Lewis solved this problem of pain theologically, which seems to be an unsolvable task for humans: ‘Pain is the megaphone of God to awaken the deaf world.’ He said that suffering is what God calls attention to awaken us. In other words, pain provides the only opportunity to reform (repentance) and perfection through suffering.
When I personally think of “pain,” I divide it into two: Suffering of Discipline and Suffering of Correction.
(1) First, Suffering of Discipline.
The suffering of discipline is the pain that God allows us in His sovereignty, through which God allows us to grow and mature in our faith. One good example is the character Job in the Bible book of Job. The Bible Job 1:1 says that Job “was blameless, upright, fearing God and turning away from evil.” Even God boasted Job to Satan: “Have you considered My servant Job? For there is no one like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, fearing God and turning away from evil” (1:8; 2:3). However, as we know, there seems to be no one in the Bible who suffers as much as Job. He not only lost all of his possessions (1:13-17), but also all his children (v. 19). He even suffered from the soles of his feet to the crown of his head (2:7), so he sat among the the ashes and took a potsherd to scrape himself (v. 8). Why did God allow Satan to strike such the blameless and upright Job who fears God? The reason is given in Job 42:5 – “have heard of You by the hearing of the ear; But now my eye sees You.” The reason God allowed Job to suffer severe pain was because he wanted to give the blessing of faith to him so that he could see God with his own spiritual eyes, that is, to experience God deeply.
(2) Second, Suffering of Correction.
Suffering of correction is the suffering that the Holy God gives us as punishment for suffering as a result of our sins, ultimately allowing us to save us from our sins because we confess and repent of our sins. A good example of this suffering of correction is a character named David in Psalms 38. I would like to receive a message that God admonishes us even through David who suffered this suffering of correction while meditating on the whole Psalms 38, centered on the words of Psalms 38:21-22 .
As I meditate on Psalms 38, I would like to ask two questions to hear the message God wants to give to us: (1) The first question is, what is the suffering that we Christians receive who have sinned against God? (2) The second question is what should we do when we are suffering?
First, what is the suffering that we Christians receive who have have sinned against God?
David said in Psalms 38:2 about the suffering we suffered: “For Your arrows have sunk deep into me, And Your hand has pressed down on me.” God not only stabs our conscience with His word, the sword of the Holy Spirit, but also His hand is heavy upon us when we aren’t confessing our sins after we have sinned. This expression “heavy” is also appeared in Psalms 32:4 – “For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Selah.” Here we don’t know exactly what the phrase ‘the Lord's hand is heavy upon us day and night’means. But one thing is clear that God makes us to confess our sins, even through suffering (v. 3).
David suffered three pains because the Lord's arrow had sunk deep into him and His hand had pressed down on him:
(1) The first pain is the physical pain.
Look at Psalms 38:3, 7 – “Because of your wrath there is no health in my body; my bones have no soundness because of my sin. … My back is filled with searing pain; there is no health in my body.” David repeatedly confessed, “there is no health in my body” because the Lord's arrow had pierced him (vv. 3, 7), and His hand had pressed down on him (v. 2). In other words, David lost his health. Not only his strength failed him, but also even the light of his eyes had gone from him (v. 10). In short, David suffered physical pain. When we are healthy and lose our health, we must realize our sins even through that physical suffering. C. S. Lewis said, ‘Pain is a God’s megaphone that calls and wakes up the deaf world.’ We must wake up spiritually, even through physical pain, to hear the voice of God's reproof, God’s pointing out our sins with the Word of God, the sword of the Holy Spirit. This reminds me John 5:14. After Jesus healed a 38-year-old sick man in a pool called Bethesda in Jerusalem, he found him in the temple and said to him, “Behold, you have become well; do not sin anymore, so that nothing worse happens to you” (v. 14). How do you hear this word of Jesus? What if we continue to commit the same sin even after being healed from the physical illness that God has used to make us to confess and repent of our sins? Aren't we afraid?
(2) The second pain is the pain of the heart.
Not only did David lose his health (v. 3) because of the heavy burden on him (v. 4), but also he even groan in anguish of heart (v. 8). As a result, he was wounded not only in the flesh but also in the heart (v. 5) and was forced to go mourning all day long (v. 6). What a painful consequences of sin? After we sin, we Christians groan in anguish of heart. The unbelievers don’t groan in anguish of heart because they don’t and can’t regard sin as a sin and thus it cannot hurt their hearts. However, since we believers feel pain because of our sins, we become tired and our hearts are hurt and thus we end up with groan in anguish of our hearts. This is the result of experiencing long-term suffering due to God's discipline. I think this is a phenomenon of the mind that comes while we feel the limit of human patience until ‘How long I should suffer like this?’ In this anguish of heart, we have no choice but to groan or sigh. In the midst of this, what David suffered was loneliness. Look at Psalms 38:11 – “My friends and companions avoid me because of my wounds; my neighbors stay far away.” The crushing of the heart, such as physical pains, wounds, sorrow and anguish of heart is very painful. But we feel lonely when people turn away from us because of our sins. This reminds me Job in the Bible. I am sure his physical pain would have been painful beyond our imagination. But when his wife went further and said to Job, “Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die!” (Job 2:9), I think he was very lonely. If even our closest one, our wives, don't understand us and say something foolish, then we have no choice but to be lonely. Sin is such a scary thing. It can isolate a person completely. Sometime, God cuts up all our families, relatives and friends who we rely on when He disciplines us due to our sins.
(3) The third pain is the pain of the soul.
Look at Psalms 38:12 – “Those who seek my life set their traps, those who would harm me talk of my ruin; all day long they plot deception.” This is the action of David's enemies. David's enemies tried to harm David by setting their traps, talking of his ruins and plotting deception. In other words, the enemies of David not only plotted to harm David, but also tried to deceive him somehow to destroy him. Isn't it interesting that when David sinned, even his loved ones, friends, and relatives kept him away but his enemies approached David and tried to harm him and destroy him? It is spiritual battle. Our enemies, Satan, not only try to make us to commit sin against God, but he also keeps on attaching us and and making us not to repent our sins, and eventually making us to betray and apostatize the Lord to fall away from faith and perish forever. Among these, the biggest pain for David was the feeling of being abandoned by God and God being far away from him. Look at verse 21: “O LORD, do not forsake me; be not far from me, O my God.” David feared that God would be far away from him and forsake him because of his sin. Of course, this was David's feeling, and not the fact. Never did God leave David, nor did he forsake or alienate him. Rather, God came close to David and pressed him with His own hands, and also His arrow pierced him (v. 2). God was close to David and wanted him to confess and repent of his sin. In a word, God wanted to save David from his sin.
Second, what should we do when we suffer? The Bible Psalms 38 teaches us three things:
(1) In silence, we must wait for the Lord our Savior.
Look at Psalms 38:15 – “I wait for you, O LORD; you will answer, O Lord my God.” When those who sought David's life set their traps, talked about his ruin and plotted deception to harm him, David became deaf and mute (vv. 12-13). In other words, David didn’t try to protect himself by making any defense by opening his mouth when his enemies were insidiously plotting to harm him and destroy him (v. 14). Rather, he closed his ears, closed his mouth, and looked only at the Lord in silence. Like David, we should not listen to things that we aren’t suppose to listen. When his enemies, who surrounded him, were talking about his ruin (v. 12), that is about his destruction, David didn’t listen to them like the deaf man (Park). How can we live by listening to all things that those who hate us and oppose us say? When we need to cover our ears when we need to do so. In particular, we must close our ears to the voices of the world and open our ears to listen to the voice of the Lord. Also, we must close our mouths like David and become mute. We must quietly go to God and pray to Him in silence as we become the deaf and mute. Especially as we go to God in prayer, we must go to Him with the assurance of answered prayers like David. Look at Psalms 38:15 – “I wait for you, O LORD; you will answer, O Lord my God.” If we translate this literally, David said ‘You will soon answer, O My Lord and my God’ (Park). Like David, who prayed with assurance of answered prayer while looking only at God, we should look only at God in silence and pray to Him in faith.
(2) We must open our mouths and confess our sins to the Lord.
Look at Psalms 38:18 – “I confess my iniquity; I am troubled by my sin.” It is interesting and amazing to see how David is confessing his sin to God. Although he had seen the sins of his enemies, instead of focusing on their sins, he focused on his sin and confessed it before God. This figure of David reminds us the attitude of faith again. In other words, we don’t need to be in stress and in pain when we listen to their slander or blame in our enemies’ persecution, adversity and our suffering and pain. Also, we don’t need to open our mouths and defend ourselves, but look at only the Lord in silence and confess our sins to Him in His holy presence. David, who used His enemies’ opposition and persecution as an opportunity to examine ourselves and confess our sins to the Lord instead of the opportunity to resent and complain, we should become deaf and mute and poured out our hearts to God and make it the opportunity to pour out our sins to Him.
(3) We must pursue what is good.
Look at Psalms 38:20 – “Those who repay my good with evil slander me when I pursue what is good.” Even in the midst of his enemies’ persecution, David didn’t stop his life of pursuing good while confessing his sins to Him God. He did good to his enemies, but they repaid David's good for evil. That is, they opposed David. It is an amazing faith that David pursued good, even in the midst of his enemies opposing him. Interestingly, the more we do good, the bigger and stronger Satan's work will be. When David did good even in the midst of his enemies’ persecution, we can see the work of his enemies in verse 19: “Many are those who are my vigorous enemies; those who hate me without reason are numerous.” Will we still follow good, even if we keep on doing good and thus our enemies actively and strongly hate and persecute us more? This is the life of a believer who looks at only the Lord who is his or her salvation. The key to confessing our sins and living a life of pursuing good while praying is to trust and hope only in the Lord, our Savior. So, in pursuit of good, David prayed to God because of his enemies’ oppositions: “O LORD, do not forsake me; be not far from me, O my God. Come quickly to help me, O Lord my Savior” (vv. 21-22).
The biggest pain for us is the feeling that God is far from us and has forsaken us. At that time, we must silently look to Jesus, who was forsaken by His Father God and crucified and died on the cross. Because Jesus is forsaken, our sins are forgiven. Therefore, we must confess and repent of our sins through the suffering of God's discipline. I hope and pray that we will be blessed with the blessings of blamelessness through the suffering of God's discipline.
As we look to Immanuel God and wait upon Him in the midst of suffering,
James Kim
Hoping and praying that I will be able to confess and repent my great sins through even my great sufferings)