Heavenly Father who cannot refuse the desire of my heart
“May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed” (Psalms 20:4), “You have granted him the desire of his heart and have not withheld the request of his lips. Selah” (21:2).
Yesterday Thursday I met all four of my friends who I hadn't met for a long time. Three of them have been friends since I immigrated to the United States when I was 12 years old. Another friend is an old friend and I presided his wedding even though he is one year older than me. We met for a long time, had lunch together, played the Korean billiards, had dinner together, and played bowling. I think it was the first time that five people had hit bowling together. The reason we met together yesterday was because I learned that one of these four friends was in trouble. So I talked to another friend on the phone to help our friend and he organized the yesterday gathering. Even though it was a situation where it wasn't easy to have serious conversation, I did open my heart and shared what was in my heart because God gave me bold heart and encouraged me to share my feelings with them. Since I spoke seriously, they couldn't drink and listened to what I said. I shared my heart's earnest wish with my four friends whom I love. My wish is the salvation of their souls. I told them my wife also know my heart's wish for them. I also told them that when my wife and I got married, I came home around 3 am after meeting them and and my wife wasn't sleeping, so I talked to her about my heart’s wish for them. And since I often pray for my friends habitually, I even told them about meeting my friends intentionally in order for my heart to be broken. Furthermore, I even told my friends about my tears after meeting them while driving home since my heart was broken. In a way, my story could be enough to break the atmosphere of eating and drinking. Nevertheless, my friends kept listening to this story from my heart. If it was before, there could be some words and actions. But yesterday my friends seriously listened to my heart wish. I told them that we could be eternal friends in Jesus, and I also shared my desire that we could be such friends. And I also told them that from the point of view of death, it seemed like we don’t have much time. I just told them that I want them to believe in Jesus and serve the Lord's church together with me. I let them know that this is my heart's wish. Then I invited these friends to the “New Life Festival” of evangelism meeting in our church on Saturday, at 6 pm. I kind of beg them to come. And I will ask them again today.
Yesterday I gave my friends a ride to one of my friend’s house since they all parked their cars in his house) and I came home. When I got home, it was around 10 PM. My children fell asleep and my wife greeted me. Even though I was late, my wife didn’t say anything and she didn’t even call me when I was with my friends. The reason was because she know my heart's wishes for them. As I shared with my wife what happened yesterday, I shared the parts of God's prayers and answers. One friend said that God put a friend who believed in Jesus and he promised to go to church with him if his big problem would resolve. Another friend told me that his boss at a new job is a deacon of the church, and he had continued to witness to him. And another friend, who had been sending his 3-year-old daughter to a church kindergarten, said that his daughter continued to learn the Christian songs, the gospel songs and the hymns so he would continue to send her to that church kindergarten. And another friend told me yesterday that his family had been actively attending the Catholic church. When I found out all these about my friends, I found out that God had been answering the prayers of my heart desire which I had been praying for more than 20 years for their salvation as I asked God 'How long?' would He answer my prayer many times (Ps. 13:1-2). As I meditated on the words of Psalms 20:4 and 21:2 during the morning prayer meeting this morning, I came to realize it more clearly that my God couldn’t refuse the desire of my heart. I came to realize that Heavenly Father, who loves me so much, even gave His only begotten Son on the cross, is the loving Heavenly Father who cannot refuse the prayers of my heart. My heart was thrilled when I felt the heart of the Father God in meditation and prayer. I felt gratitude and comfort in my heart when I felt the loving heart of God who couldn’t refuse my heart's wish prayer. I couldn't understand why my generous God loves such man like me. I just wanted to lean on my Heavenly Father. And I started dreaming before Heavenly Father. I started dreaming a grand dream. I started dreaming that people can't achieve, only God can achieve. And this dream began to become my heart's wish prayer. The dream is to Christianize the city that the Lord is leading through my former college roommates or friends who will trust Jesus in the future, or precious encounters that God has allowed, just as John Calvin christianized Geneva. It is to build the Lord-centered community that is a church-centered with the Christian schools, a Christians hospital, a Christian law firm and so on and to raise the Christ-centered visionary leaders and send them out to expand the kingdom of God. I had this dream when I first went to Korea in 1995. At that time, when I came back to the United States, I invited my roommates to my church and shared my dream with them. However, as we haven't had the same dream in our hearts for many years, I've been giving up praying. However, I started dreaming again during the morning prayer meetings. Nowadays, I am experiencing my heart firing up and excitement as I pray this dream to God. And when I look at myself, I see a shift from passive prayer to more active prayer. The reason is because from now on, I began to look only my Heavenly Father rather than looking at my former college roommates or situations. Since God is helping me to understand Heavenly Father's heart a little more, I started to dream again with more active prayers. I can only pray because God is the only One who can fulfill this great dream. I am praying only to God because I know and believe that God is the One who cannot refuse my heart's prayer. I pray that only the glory of God will be manifested.
“Oh, to be like Thee! blessed Redeemer, This is my constant longing and prayer.
Gladly I'll forfeit all of earth's treasures, Seeking Thy perfect likeness to wear.
Oh, to be like Thee! Oh, to be like Thee, Blessed Redeemer, pure as Thou art!
Come in Thy sweetness, come in Thy fullness; Stamp Thine own image deep on my heart.
(Hymn “Oh, to be like Thee”, verse 1 and the chorus)
Eagerly wishing to learn the heart of God's Father,
James Kim
(Prayerfully desire to participate in New Life Festival with the heart of God who loves a soul)