40 years ...

God delivered the Israelites who were slaves in Egypt for 430 years (Exod. 12:40-41).

But there were unfaithful to God so they became wandering people in the wilderness for 40 years

(Num. 14:33).  During those 40 years, God led the Israelites in the wilderness and performed wonders and signs (Deut. 29:5; Acts 7:36). 

And God fed them with manna for 40 years (Exod. 16:35).

The reason why God led them for 40 years in the wilderness was to humble them and to test them to know what was in their hearts,

whether they would keep His commandments or not (Deut. 8:2).

God blessed them in all that they had done during those 40 years and He was with them

so that they didn’t lack a thing (Deut. 2:7).

Their clothing didn’t wear out on them, nor did their foot swell and they weren’t in want (v.7; 8:4; 29:5; Neh. 9:21). 

But they didn’t present to God with sacrifices and grain offerings in the wilderness for 40 years (Amos 5:25).  

And they didn’t listen to the voice of the Lord (Josh. 5:6).

Rather, they tried God by testing Him (Heb. 3:9). 

But during that 40 years God put up with them (Acts 13:18).

For 40 years, God loathed them because their hearts went astray and hadn’t known His ways (Ps. 95:10).

Eventually, God was angry with the Israelites (Num. 32:13; Heb. 3:17).

As a result, they couldn’t see the land of Canaan, flowing with mil and honey (Josh. 5:6)

and their corpses lied in the wilderness (Num. 14:33).

But the Israel’s descendants relied on Egypt, where their ancestors had been slaves for 430 years.

So God judged Egypt, which the Israelites were depended on (Cf. Ezek. 29-31).

God made the land of Egypt a desolate land so no one had ever lived in the land for 40 years (29:11).

God made the land of Egypt a desolation in the midst of desolated lands so that they were laid waste

and was desolate 40 years (v. 12).  God made Egypt the lowest kingdom (vv. 14-15). 

The reason was to show Egypt God's justice.

God made the country extremely weak because Egypt was proud (vv. 3, 9; 30:6, 18; 31:10, 14).

Also, the reason was that God wanted to show God's grace and mercy to the Israelites

and to judge Egypt, so that it would never again be the confidence of the house of Israel (29:16).

And by doing so, God didn’t want the Israelites to bring to mind

the iniquity of their having turned to Egypt (v. 16).

God has endured my sinful acts for the past 40 years.

Like David who committed adultery with Bathsheba and thus had given occasion to the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme (2 Sam. 12:14),

I had committed the sin of adultery to God for the past 40 years.

I had committed the great sin to holy God by being drawn to the lust of the eyes and the lust of the flesh (1 Jn. 2:16). 

There was an idol of covetousness in my heart (Col. 3:5).

Although God had blessed me with so much grace in those 40 years,

I committed countless sins of ungrateful against Father God by forgetting His grace.

Then, in the wrath of God, I lost my first baby Charis about 20 years ago.

To me it was like God took a child born between David and Bathsheba (2 Sam. 12:14-18).

Even at that time, God enabled me to praise the Lord’s savior love for me

Because His lovingkindess was better than Charis’ 55 days of life in this earth

and my lips shall praise Him (Ps. 63:3).

God allowed me to experience the breadth and length and height and depth of His saving love (Eph. 3:18) in my life’s greatest crisis.

But after that, I was like a dog that returned to its vomit (Prov. 26:11) because I was a fool who repeated the foolish adultery.  No, I lived a life less than a dog.  I realized it by looking at my dog.

I never saw my dog eating its own dung.  But I repeatedly committed the same sin again and again.

I hated myself so much that I had experienced countless disappointments

and discouragement over and over again.

This was because sin had taken the opportunity through the commandment, produced in me coveting (Rom. 7:8) so that I did what I didn’t want to do, the very thing I hated (v. 15).

The good that I wanted, I didn’t do, but I practiced the very evil that I didn’t want (v. 19).

My heart wanted to obey God’s law but my body obeyed the law of sin innumerable times (vv. 22-23).

But finally after 40 years, God delivered me.  It is totally God’s grace.

From the deep pit where I couldn’t deliver myself,

my Savior God showed His saving love to such sinner like me.

God stopped me from relying on covetousness anymore

by making my heart's covetousness extremely weak (Ezek. 29:14-16).

The reason was to keep me from remembering my sins (v. 16).

He did so because even though God already forgave me and didn’t even remember my sins anymore (Heb. 8:12; 10:17)

I was still remembering them and was miserable due to my guilt.  

But God freed me from my guilt by delivering me out of the pit of guilt

so that my sins wouldn’t be remembered any longer (Ezek. 29:16).  That is 40 years later.  Ah~  Thank You, than You God.