Introduction
I have an unforgettable praise until I die. That praise is “My Savior’s Love.” The reason I can't forget this gospel song is because the indwelling Holy Spirit made me to sing this song after my first baby Charis died. I still remember it. After our Charis died in my arms, my wife and I decided to cremate her. After we did so, we took the small box filled with Charis’ ashes and went to spread it in the water. After my wife spread Charis’ ashes in the water, we were coming back to the land. I was on the back of the small boat and was driving the boat and my wife in front of the boat. Suddenly she turned around and looked at me and said “Titanic” with tears dropping from her eyes. When I heard her saying “Titanic” and saw her tears, the indwelling Holy Spirit opened my heart and mouth and made me to sing this praise to God vigorously: “I stand amazed in the presence Of Jesus the Nazarene. And wonder how He could love me, A sinner condemned, unclean. How marvelous, How wonderful And my song will ever be How marvelous, How wonderful Is my Savior's love for me.” It was only later that I realized that God fulfilled the promise Word that He gave to me, Psalms 63:3
It was the Sunday afternoon when I visited the Los Angeles Children Hospital Intensive Care Unit (ICU) to see Charis. After I washed my hands and wore a gown, Charis’ doctor came up to me asked me whether to let her die quickly or slowly. I was very shocked. And I told the doctor to let her die slowly. Then when I went into the ICU room where Charis was, I saw my wife pouring out her tears as she was looking at Charis who was slowly dying. She was very beautiful in my eyes. Next day, Monday morning, I happened to read the Bible Psalms 63:3 and I was blessed by that Word of God: “Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, My lips will praise You.” Somehow, I applied this Word like this: ‘God’s eternal lovingkindness is better than our baby Charis’ 55 days of her life, my lips will praise God.’ So I share this Word of God and how God blessed me with it with my wife. And together we decided to let Charis die quickly. So my wife called the hospital and let Charis’ doctor know our decision. I called my parents, older brother and my younger sister so they all came to the hospital and my father who is a pastor led the final worship. Then everybody, including my wife, went to the next room. Then the Charis’ nurse took out all the hoses and needles and so on. Then she gave Charis to me. That was my first and last time holding her. And she died in my arms. I cried and cried and I thought I was going to die because I couldn’t breathe. When I went to the next room, everybody were crying expect my father. When I sat beside my wife with Charis in my arms, my father came to me and asked for the baby. So I gave her to him. Then he held the baby in his arm and laid another hand on Charis’ head. And he memorized John 3:16 – “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
We cannot help but to praise God because of the Lord’s great lovingkindness and everlasting truth toward us (Ps. 117). The Lord’s great lovingkindness and everlasting truth toward us was demonstrated “in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom. 5:8). “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (Jn. 3:16). Therefore, we who have received “the free gift of God”, that is “eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Rom. 6:23) must praise “the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ” (Eph. 1:3).
Nearer my God to Thee as I desire to praise the Lord until my last breathe,
Pastor James Kim