Suffering is an opportunity
As we celebrated Family Month, May, today I heard the news that is very confusing and heartbreaking. A 34-year-old father stabbed his 8-year-old daughter and a 9-year-old daughter's friend 20 times and 11 times, respectively, in a small town in Chicago. When I heard the news that the father stabbed even in his daughter’s eyes, I couldn’t believe how cruel this act of crime was and I was very angry inside, thinking that this was an evil that humans could not commit. 'Is that person a human?', 'Is he a father?'
In order to drive a car, we must obtain a driver's license. But there is no such thing as a license to be a father. That’s why there's nothing special to study about becoming a father or a mother. I remember again this night that I heard about the news that the mother who had beaten her daughter's head and let her die in the living room for two days, eventually cut off the neck of her pretty daughter. I wonder if we the parents are qualified to be parents.
The Bible Ephesians chapters 5 and 6 teach us that men, as husbands and fathers, have a responsibility to "nourish" their wives (Eph. 5:29) and children (6:4). It’s interesting that there is a meaning “narrow” in the Greek word “nourish.” This meaning teaches us that we, the husbands and fathers, should show our wives and children that we are walking the narrow path of Jesus Christ, the path of the cross. In other words, we must take our own cross and follow Jesus on the path of suffering. But we have an instinct not wanting to walk on the path of suffering. That’s why we try to avoid that path deliberately. This is because we don’t know the benefits of suffering, but only the pains and suffering. Furthermore, because we have not experienced the benefits of suffering, we aren’t willing to walk the path of suffering while enduring suffering by faith.
I thought about two benefits of suffering based on Psalms 119:65-72:
First, the benefits of suffering is suffering awaken us to the fact that we are going astray.
Look at Psalms 119:67a – “Before I was afflicted I went astray ….” There are so many times that we don’t know that we are going astray until we suffer. Of course, it is true that sometimes we knowingly go astray even though we know it is a wrong way for us to walk on. However, many times we are often blind and deaf, and we don’t walk on the narrow path of the cross that the Lord walked on and just wondering and going this way and that. Then, through the suffering that the Lord allows us to go through, we wake up. Like a shepherd who strikes a sheep with a stick when the sheep goes the wrong way in order to make the sheep to walk on the right way, the Lord, our Shepherd, uses the stick of suffering to guide us who are walking on the crooked way to the right way. Prophet Isaiah said, “All of us like sheep have gone astray, Each of us has turned to his own way; ….” (Isa. 53:6). We who are foolish sheep are busy going astray, not the narrow way of the Lord, but the broad way of the world. At that time, the suffering given to us can be a reminder for us that we are going astray.
Second and last, the benefits of suffering is suffering makes us to obey the word of the Lord.
Look at Psalms 119: 67b – “… but now I obey your word.” Here we must think about six things how our suffering makes us to keep the word of the Lord:
(1) Suffering makes us to believe in the Lord's commandments.
Look at Psalms 119:66b – “… for I believe in your commands.” The Lord uses the suffering to make us not only to realize that we are going astray but also to make us U-turn and to make us believe that the Lord’s commandments are the true way. We choose to live in one of two ways every day: the narrow path of the Lord and the broad path of the world. In other words, we live each moment in making choices between the two, whether we follow the Lord's commandments or follow Satan's words or the words of the world. The Lord uses the suffering not only to makes us to realize that we are going astray but also He uses the pains, which is the consequence of going astray, to make us to believe in the Lord’s commandments, His right way and enables us to walk that way.
(2) Suffering teaches us knowledge and good judgement.
Look at Psalms 119:66a – “Teach me knowledge and good judgment ….” How many of us Christians have lost our understanding, that is our good discernment, and is walking on the wrong path in ignorance? The loss of spiritual discernment brings confusion, not conviction. Eventually, it prevents us from walking the way of the Lord's commandments consistently. Rather, the loss of spiritual discernment causes us to wander the way of the world, the path of confusion. But the Lord delivers us through suffering from the swamp of our ignorance and the loss of good discernment. In the end, the Lord gives us good spiritual discernment and the knowledge of the Lord's will, causing us to run toward His word.
(3) Suffering makes us taste the goodness of the Lord.
Look at Psalms 119:68a – “You are good, and what you do is good ….” The greatest benefit of tasting (experiencing) the Lord's goodness through suffering (Ps. 34:8) is we are experiencing goodness of God who works for the good of us who love him (Rom. 8:28). Especially when we are in our extreme painful circumstance and are exhausted, the blessing of suffering is that the glory of the good God shines brighter in our lives. That is why we can praise God “God is so good, God is so good, God is so good, He so good to me” even in the midst of hardship.
(4) Suffering makes us to hate the lies of the arrogant.
Look at Psalms 119:69a – “Though the arrogant have smeared me with lies ….” Before we suffer, the lies of the arrogant are so clearly heard in our ears that we often walk in the false way of the arrogant. Since the lies of the arrogant seem so true, we tend to receive them as the truth and choose to go astray in confusion. Aren’t we busy in running this way of lies now? Aren’t we busy in running the way of false success, fame and the way of material pluripotency that the worldly arrogant people show us? But after we have suffered, we hate all the false way of the arrogant. The reason is because we know the true way, the way of the Lord, through suffering. The way of the Lord is the narrow path of the cross that the humble Jesus showed us in the Scriptures. And the end of that path is death. How this path and its’ end is so different from the end of the world's path? Are you spiritually attracted to this path? Are we attracted to the fact that the climax of our narrow path is death? Are we attracted to the fact that such sinners like us can be martyred for the glory of the Lord? Not everybody can accept this truth. The arrogant people not only don’t accept this truth but they also cannot accept it. But the Lord is planting this truth in our hearts through suffering. In the process of planning it, the Lord enables us to hate the lies of the arrogant through suffering.
(5) Suffering removes fat from our hearts.
Look at Psalms 119:70a – “Their hearts are callous and unfeeling ….” In the United States, obesity is a big problem these days. So many people are doing diet and are exercising to lose weight. Many people are even having operation to get rid of fat. In the midst of so many efforts to get rid of fat in the flesh, we Christians should be committed to get rid of fat in our hearts. How much discomfort and endless adult diseases do we have because of our body fat? But the fatness of our hearts makes us to experience the sinful consequence of our uncomfortable life. And that sinful consequence of our discomfort causes us to commit the greater sin of taking the sinful consequence of our discomfort lightly. I think suffering is the best medicine necessary to remove fat from our heart. We must get rid of fat in our hearts through suffering.
(6) Suffering gives us a deep understanding of the best value of the Word of God.
Look at Psalm 119:72 – “The law from your mouth is more precious to me than thousands of pieces of silver and gold.” In the days of Exodus, through the 40 years of suffering in the wilderness, the Israelites came to realize that “man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord” (Deut. 8:3). Likewise, we must also realize that in this wilderness-like world, as we walk through the narrow paths of the Lord, the path of the cross, encountering many and various sufferings, we must learn that we live only by the Word of God. When we realize this truth, we will confess that the value of the Word of God is more valuable than our lives. How can the eternal Word of God compare with our human life on this earth? Suffering makes us to realize the preciousness of the words of God and the highest value of them, rather than the riches of this world.
In this socially chaotic world which heads toward the End, there will be greater hardships and sufferings to us than before as we walk the narrow path of the Lord Jesus Christ. However, we must receive the grace and blessings at the time of suffering by learning the benefits of suffering. We must even enjoy the benefits of suffering. As the psalmist said in Psalm 119:65, we will be able to confess from the depths of our hearts, "God is good," as we experience the Lord’s goodness. I hope and pray that we may have this blessing of suffering in our lives.
How should we respond to the sufferings in our lives? Henry Nowen suggests to response in four ways in his book, "Turn My Mourning into Dancing." There are 4 steps to dance with God:
(1) The first step is to grieve the pain and suffering we go through.
We have to cry when we have to cry. We must weep in front of the cross. And when we go through pain and suffering, we must go to our Heavenly Father and tell him what we are going through. But I think many of us don’t want to acknowledge our pain and suffering, but rather try to deny, ignore, or suppress them in our hearts deeply. If we do, then our sufferings will not benefit us. Rather, as in the case of the Israelites in the Old Testament, there will be a greater likelihood of committing sin to God by grumbling and complaining.
(2) The second step is to face the causes of pain and pain.
We must look straight at the hidden loss of injustice, shame and guilt that paralyze us. What causes pain and suffering? We must know what the cause is so that we can look straight to our pain and suffering. Many times we seem to be unaware of the cause of our suffering and pain. So we cannot face the causes of pain and sorrow, and even though we know the cause, our human instincts are familiar with avoiding the cause rather than directly look straight at them. We cannot enjoy the grace given by God through pain and suffering until we face the cause of the pain and suffering that we are experiencing.
(3) The third step is to go through pain and suffering, loss and wound and pass through it.
We should never pour too much energy into denying our pain and suffering. Rather, we must enter into the suffering, pain, loss, and wounds as we acknowledge them. We should not evade anymore. We must enter the tunnel of pain and suffering. Though it may be dark and frightening, we still have to enter that tunnel. Without entering the tunnel of pain and suffering, there is no benefit of the suffering.
(4) The last fourth step is to meet Heavenly Father in pain, suffering, loss and wound.
We must enter into the tunnel of suffering, pain, loss and wound and feel the pain, suffering, loss and wound of Jesus. Then, there is healing in our pain and wounds. Furthermore, we can be used as a tool of the Lord as a wounded healer.
We can summarize the sufferings of Jonah in Jonah 2:1ff in four ways:
(1) The suffering of Jonah was the stomach of the great fish.
Look at Jonah 2:1 – “Then Jonah prayed to the LORD his God from the stomach of the fish.” Jonah's first suffering was "the depth of Sheol" (v. 2). Like a darkened cave, Jonah, who was in the stomach of the great fish deep in the sea, was struck by the painful situation that looked around the north, south, west, and there seemed to be no solution. He was imprisoned like the Israelites who had been imprisoned in front of the Red Sea at the time of the Exodus (though this was King Pharaoh's thoughts and not the thoughts of the Israelites). Everything Jonah believed in this world was cut off. When we are in hopeless desperate situation like Jonah, we must look to the Lord who is our true Hope. This is the first benefit of suffering.
(2) The suffering of Jonah was the Lord's wave.
Look at Jonah 2:3 – “For You had cast me into the deep, Into the heart of the seas, And the current engulfed me All Your breakers and billows passed over me.” Here the word “breakers” refers to God’s given waves that were breaking Jonah (Park Yun-sun). Not only God was breaking the ship that Jonah was aboard, but also Jonah's heart as well. God was breaking the harden heart of Jonah, who forgot the Lord's mission and disobeyed God's command and running away, so that he might soften Jonah’s heart in order for him to obey God’s command. This is the second benefit of suffering.
(3) The suffering of Jonah was the feeling that Jonah was expelled from God’s sight.
Look at Jonah 2:4 – “So I said, 'I have been expelled from Your sight ….” Jonah had this feeling because he was running away from God (1:3). In other words, Jonah was trying to flee from God’s presence so he felt that God had left Him and was far away from him. In a word, Jonah felt that God forsaken him. So are we. When do we feel that we have been forsaken by God? It is when we disobey God's commands like Jonah and flee far away from God's presence we can feel that God has forsaken us. Especially when we are in trouble, no matter how we pray to God, we receive no answer of our prayer from God. Then we can feel that God has hid his face from us and God has forsaken us. That was how the psalmist felt. That was why he cried out like this in Psalms 22:1 – “My God, my God, why have You forsaken me? Far from my deliverance are the words of my groaning.” We can have a feeling that God has forsaken us when there is no answer of prayer from God and no help in spite of groaning and crying. This feeling of being forsaken by God must have been greater pain than physically suffering by God’s wave and being in the stomach of the great fish. It is the most painful feeling that we have been forsaken by God than any discipline, as if we were stuck in a dark room when we were disciplined by our father, and felt that we were abandoned by our beloved father rather than discipline by our father's stick. But in this suffering, the blessing that God gives us is that we may hear the cry of Jesus “’Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?’-- which means, ‘My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?’” of the crucified Jesus (Mk. 15:34). When we hear this voice of Jesus Christ on the cross, we are convinced and assured that we are not forsaken by God forever because of Jesus, the only begotten Son of God was forsaken by his own Father God for us. This is the third benefit of suffering.
(4) The suffering of Jonah was that he was fainting away.
Look at Jonah 2:7 – “"While I was fainting away, ….” The word 'faint' here means 'to decline'. This word tells that Jonah was in an extreme discord. The situation of Jonah's suffering could not escape (or be saved) by the power of man in his total incompetence, and it was an extreme despair that such a situation was three days old. In the desperation of experiencing total helplessness and total incompetence, the grace that God gives us is to look to Him who is the hope of salvation. And by looking at the Lord of salvation, God enables us to confess from our hearts and lips that "Salvation is from the Lord" (v. 9). This is the fourth and great benefit of suffering.
We must enjoy the grace of God through suffering in our lives. In particular, like Jonah, when we are running away from God by disobeying God's command, we must enjoy the benefits of God's suffering while dancing with God through the great winds of suffering that God gives us. Hence, we also pray that we may confess like the psalmist: “It is good for me that I was afflicted, That I may learn Your statutes” (Ps. 119:71).
Learning to step with the dancing God,
Pastor James Kim