Failure is an opportunity

One day during the morning prayer meeting, I praised God, “Yield not to Temptation”: (v. 1) “Yield not to temptation for yielding is sin, Each victory will help you some other to win; Fight man-fully onward, dark passions sub-due, Look ever to Jesus, He'll carry you through.  Ask the Savior to help you, Comfort, strengthen and keep you; He is willing to aid you, He will carry you through.”  The reason I offered this praise to God was because I believe that the life of faith is spiritual battle.  And I praised God because this spiritual battle required our Savior's help, comfort and strength.  I remember before I entered the seminary my father told me that I had to guard against three temptations: money, woman, and fame.  I also remembered “the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does” in 1 John 2:16.  Satan frequent attacks us in order to make us to stumble with these temptations.  And we see and hear us falling into these temptations and sin against God.  Clearly, we want to win this spiritual battle against ourselves, sin, the world, and Satan.  But why do we keep falling into the Satan’s temptations and sin against God and hide God's glory?  Why do we keep on failing?

                In Matthew 26 we see Peter denying Jesus three times.  When Jesus told his disciples, “This very night you will all fall away on account of me, for it is written: ‘'I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered’” (v. 31), Peter said to Jesus, “Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will” (v. 33), “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you” (v. 35).  Why did Peter say these words?  It was because Peter didn’t have in mind the things of God, but the things of men (Mt. 16:23).  Although Jesus had to die on the cross to redeem the sins of God’s chosen people, Peter didn’t want Jesus to die (v. 22).  In other words, Peter didn’t want the God's will to be done by believing and obeying God's written words, but instead he wanted his will to be done.  As a result, Peter denied Jesus three times and sinned against God.  He failed.  Although Jesus clearly said, “This very night you will all fall away on account of me” (26:31), Peter didn’t believe in the fulfillment of that word.  I think Peter refused to believe His word to be fulfilled.  I think he was drawn to his thoughts, feelings, and wills rather than believing in God's Word and being led by it.  As a result, he denied Jesus three times.  Another reason why he denied Jesus three times was that he didn’t watch and pray so that he would not fall into temptation as Jesus said (v. 41).  Peter was sleeping (vv. 40, 43) when Jesus was overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death (v. 38) and was crying out to his Heavenly Father (v. 39).  How could Peter, who was willing to die with Jesus and who said he would never disown Him, fall in sleep when Jesus was about to be crucified according to the will of Heavenly Father, saying, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me” (v. 38)?  Shouldn’t Peter watch and pray with Jesus who was about to be crucified on the cross?  How could he fall in sleep in that crucial moment?  The reason was because as Jesus said “The spirit is willing, but the body is weak” (v. 41).  In the end, Peter disobeyed the Jesus' word, “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation” (v. 41), and he “denied it before them all” (v. 70), “denied it again, with an oath (v. 72), even called down “curses on himself” and denied Jesus (v. 74).  When he denied Jesus three times, immediately a rooster crowed (v. 74).  “Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken: "Before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times." And he went outside and wept bitterly” (v. 75).  After Peter saw Jesus’ crucifixion, he went back to his old job, fishermen (Jn. 21).  Wasn’t he supposed to live as a fisher of men instead of fisherman?  How could he go back to the fisherman?  Was it okay for him to do that?  What did Jesus do to Peter who denied Jesus three times, who failed Him?

I still remember a pastor who preached the Word of God based on John 21:15ff.  Jesus asked Peter, who failed Jesus three times, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?" three times (vv. 15, 16 17).  And then Jesus gave him greater mission than before [“I will make you fishers of men (Mt. 4:19)], that is “Feed my lambs” (Jn.21:15), “Take care of my sheep” (v. 16), “Feed my sheep” (v. 18).  Why did Jesus give the greater mission to Peter, who had denied Him three times?  Do you understand?  Isn’t this God’s grace?

Not only did the Lord give Peter, who had failed, freedom from sin after he mourned and truly repented (vv. 15ff), the greater mission, He also fulfilled Peter’s determination that “Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will” (Mt. 26:33), “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you” (v. 35) after He filled him with His Spirit on the day of Pentecost (Acts 2:1-4) when he prayed together with a group number about 120 people (1:15).  What a grace and love of God?  Having experienced this grace and love, Apostle Peter said: “The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray” (1 Pet. 4:7), “Be self-controlled and alert.  Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.  Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings” (5:8-9).  What should we do?

                At the early Morning Prayer meeting today, I shared my sins that God revealed and repented with those who came to the prayer meeting.  After I preached the word of God, my heart was filled with his grace and I had to shed tears.  I am amazed by God’s grace of not forsaking me but forgiving me and giving me a greater mission to such sinner like me who not only keep on denying Jesus, but also seeking my own will instead of God’s will, not watching and praying in order not to fall into temptation but sleeping and keep on failing and hiding God’s glory.  My heart was filled with tears when I thought of God's wonderful grace and His unfailing love.  I just thanked God for His grace and love.  And I had to confess that I came thus far by His grace alone.  By that grace, I prayed that I could live until the day of meeting the Lord face to face.

“I will call on him as long as I live” (Ps. 116: 2),

Pastor James Kim