How should we love our children?

“David said, "My son Solomon is young and inexperienced, and the house that is to be built for the LORD shall be exceedingly magnificent, famous and glorious throughout all lands. Therefore now I will make preparation for it." So David made ample preparations before his death” (1 Chronicles 22:5).

Is it wrong for the parents to expect their children to fulfill their dream that they couldn’t fulfill?  Can we just say that it is only the parents’ greed?  If it is wrong then how should we understand that father David expected his son Solomon to build the temple of the Lord, the dream he couldn’t achieve?  I don’t think we can say this is the father David’s greed.  The reason is because it was God's will for Solomon to build the temple and not David.  If Solomon' to build the temple wasn’t God’s will but David’s will, then it was wrong for David to expect his son Solomon to build the temple that he couldn’t and it was just David’s greed.  But since expecting Solomon to build the temple that David couldn’t do wasn’t his will but God’s will, it wasn’t wrong and it wasn’t David’s greed.  But this was the Lord’s will and He intended to build the temple through Solomon, David only obeyed His will.  And David's obedience was his expression of love toward God and toward his son Solomon.  Through the expression of love, I want to meditate on how we, the parents, should love our children in three ways.

First, we must prepare a lot for our children before we die.

The things that King David prepared for his son Solomon before his death was the materials and the people for the temple to be built for God.  For example, David prepared for the house of the Lord 100,000 talents of gold, 1,000,000 talents of silver, bronze and iron (v. 14), and many workmen such as stonecutters, masons of stone, carpenters, and all men who were skillful in every kind of work (v. 15).  Especially, bronze and iron that David prepared were beyond weight because they were in great quantity (v. 14).  Why did David prepare that so much?  The reason was because his son Solomon was young and inexperienced, and the house that was to be built for the Lord should be exceedingly magnificent, famous and glorious throughout all the lands (v. 5).  David prepared many things for the house of the LORD “with great pains” (v. 14).  With great pains, he prepared so much for the house of the Lord before he died (v. 5).

What should we prepare for our children before we die?  And when we prepare before we die, is it for God, or is it for ourselves and our children only?  Before we die, we must prepare a lot for our children for the Lord’s church and the kingdom of God.  And when we prepare, we must know what God’s will is for our children.  We must never force our will on our children.  Rather, we must realize the Lord’s will toward our children, and earnestly desire that the will of the Lord to be fulfilled through them.  And for that reason, we must prepare a lot for our children before we die.  Therefore, we should be helpful to our children for them to fulfill the Lord's will.

Second, we must pray for our children until we die.

What were the father David’s prayers for his son Solomon until he died?  Look at 1 Chronicles 22:12 – “Only the LORD give you discretion and understanding, and give you charge over Israel, so that you may keep the law of the LORD your God.”  Here, we can see David’s prayers for Solomon were two: (1) ‘Lord, give my son Solomon discretion and understanding so that he could lead the Israelites’ and (2) ‘Lord, help my son Solomon to keep the law of the Lord.’  In this first prayer of David, we can see why Solomon asked God for wisdom when God asked him what he wanted (2 Chron. 1:7-10).  The reason was because David asked God to give wisdom to his son Solomon until he died (1 Chron. 22:12).  Why did David pray for Solomon and ask God for wisdom and understanding?  The reason for this was that David wanted Solomon to reign over Israel, the people of God, well (v. 12).  We can see this heart of David also in his son Solomon’s heart.  King Solomon also asked God for wisdom and understanding, like his father David, to govern the Lord's great people (1 Chron. 1:10) and to distinguish between right and wrong (1 Kgs. 3:9).  In short, the reason Solomon asked God for wisdom and understanding was to govern the Israelites, the people of God well.  When we look at David's second prayer for his son Solomon, we can get a glimpse of David's heart toward Solomon.  The father David's heart toward Solomon was for his Solomon to be successful (1 Chron. 22:11).  So David prayed to God for Solomon until he died was ‘'God, please help Solomon to keep the law of the Lord' (v. 12).  Since David knew that keeping the law of Lord was the way of success, he earnestly prayed to God for his son Solomon to walk that path of success (v. 13)

We should earnestly pray to God for our children to be successful.  In order to do so, we must pray to God for our children to be obedient to God's commandments.  Although there are sufferings and difficulties in this world when our children obey God’s commandments, we must pray for our children to obey God’s commandments, knowing and believing that that’s the path of success and prosperity.  We must also ask God to give our children wisdom and understanding.  It is because without wisdom and understanding our children cannot obey the Word of God.  Children who obey God's Word are wise and the wise children obey God's Word.  We must ask God to raise such children who are wise and who obey God’s commandments.

Third and last, we must make a will to our children when our death is near.

What was the David’s will for his son King Solomon before his death?  Look at 1 Kings 2:2-4: “I am about to go the way of all the earth," he said. "So be strong, show yourself a man, and observe what the LORD your God requires: Walk in his ways, and keep his decrees and commands, his laws and requirements, as written in the Law of Moses, so that you may prosper in all you do and wherever you go.”  Father David’s will to his son Solomon was two: one was for him to be strong man, showing himself to a man, and another one was for him to keep the command of God.  Why did David make the will of his son Solomon to be strong and be a man?  The reason is probably because Solomon was young and inexperienced (1 Chron. 22:5).  And because the house that was to be built for the Lord was to be exceedingly magnificent, famous and glorious throughout all lands (v. 5).  The David's second will which was for Solomon to keep the command of God was David’s prayers all along until he died.  Since he earnestly wanted Solomon to be successful, he made the will for Solomon to obey the law of the Lord.  David was able to say his will like that was because he himself did what was right in the sight of the LORD and had not turn aside from anything that God commanded him all the days of his life, except in the case of Uriah the Hittite (1 Kgs. 15:5).

Like David, if we are showing godly example to our children until we die, we will have no hesitation in making a will to our beloved children when our death is imminent.  But if we are unable to show our children godly example, then we will be reluctant to make the will to our children even as our death is near.  It's never easy for us, the parents, to make the will to our children.  Of course, it doesn’t mean that the parents should be qualified to make a will for their children.  I think the parents have a right to make the will to their children no matter what because they are parents.  But in order for the will to be an effective and powerful testament, we must first live faithfully according to our will to our children.  In other words, we must live our lives according to the will that we will make to our children when our death is near.  How can we tell our children to walk the path of success while we have not walked that path of success?  Shouldn’t we tell our children to obey the Lord’s commands before we tell them to do so as our will to them?  We must first live a life of obedience to God and His commands so that we can make the will to our children, saying that they should also be obedient to God’s commands.  We, the fathers, must first be strong and be a man so that we can tell our sons to be strong and be a man also.  In order for us, the parents, to make the will that is worthy of God’s sight, we must first live a life that is in consistent with our will to our children.  In doing so, our will will be written on the tablets of our children and our children will live according to our will.

When do you think it is a good time for us to express our love to our children?  I think it is before we die.  The reason is because it is the moment when we leave this earth and the last time to talk to our children.  I believe that it is a great opportunity for us to express God's love to our children before we die.  As we express our love to our children, we must think about the hearts of our children who have to let go of us, and we should try to plant our love in their hearts that will last until their death.  How is this possible?  I think one way is for us to prepare a lot for our children before we die.  Although it’s not the materials that we have to prepare for our children like David in order to build the house of the Lord, we can prepare as much as we can for our children to use them to build the Lord’s church and the Kingdom of God.  By doing so, we can plant the seed of God’s love in our children’s hearts.  Furthermore, if we pray to God until we die for our children, we will be able to plant God’s love in the hearts of our children.  The parents who pray are the parents who plant the love of God in their children’s hearts.  In particular, as we, the parents, live a life of prayer and pray for our children until we die, I am sure God will plant His love in the hearts of our children.  As we do so, if we are able to make the will for our children to obey God's commandments before we die, then all may go well with our children and they may be prosperous.