Parental happiness equation
‘The Korean parents usually think that the successful life is the best life and they want their children to be successful. Therefore, the happiness equation of the Korean parents is success. They think that their children must succeed in order to be happy.’ [Jin Jae Hyuk, ‘Parent’s Leadership Determines their Children's Future’]
The purpose of the Korean parents' enthusiasm for their children's education is the success of their children. So the Korean parents want their children to go to a prestigious university by studying hard and doing well. And then they want their children to get a good job after graduating from the university. They hope their children to be stable and live well. Why is that? The reason is because that it is the happiness that many parents think. I think that’s why there is a saying that "happiness doesn’t come in grades". So, from the time of their childhood, the children seem to grow up to listen to "study", "study" and "study" from their parents. Is study everything? When the children comes home around 10 o’clock evening after school and after private educational institute, is that the best that their parents can do for them?
I think there is a problem with the view of success that the parents have for their children. In other words, I think the parents’ view of success is nonbiblical. Although the parents want to give their best to their children for their success, I think that the success of the children that their parents pursue misses the point from the Bible. Does success in the Bible really say that the children should go to the prestigious university by studying well and get the good job after they graduate from the university? Is it biblical success that after having the good job, they get marry and have children meet and live comfortably? The success that the Bible talks about is not fulfilling our purpose. The success that the Bible talks about is fulfilling God's purpose. The biblical success is the fulfilling the will of God. The success is God’s will be done on earth as it is in heaven. But now so many parents are seeking to fulfill their will through their children rather than seeking God's will for their children. How unfortunate is this? This is not giving happiness to our children at all. Rather, this is making our children unhappy. The parents who depend on themselves rather than depend on God and who their own will instead of God's will for their children will eventually make their children unhappy and they will also become unhappy as well.
We, the parents, must have the biblical view of success. In other words, we must seek God's will for our children instead of our will. And we must not forget that it is God who accomplishes His will and not us. Let’s remember that those who succeed in God's sight are those who fulfill God's will. A good example of this is Joseph in the book of Genesis. The Bible says that Joseph became “a successful man” (Gen. 39:2). How did Joseph become the successful man? Joseph was hated by his older brothers, was sold to Potiphar, an Egyptian officer of Pharaoh, and served him. And because he refused to sleep with the Potiphar’s wife, he was in a prison for two years. How can we say that Joseph was the successful man? From the standpoint of the world, Joseph was troubled and unhappy. In worldly perspective, he wasn’t a happy and successful man. However, the Bible says that he “became a successful man” (v. 2). Why is that? The reason is because Joseph did the will of God. Then what was God’s will that God accomplished through Joseph? It was saving lives (45:5). Whose lives were saved by God's will? It was the life of Jacob, Israel, and his children, and the life of their descendants (v. 7). In short, the will of God that God accomplished through Joseph was "salvation" (vv. 5, 7). Therefore, the Bible says that Joseph was prosperous, successful man.
What do you think of this biblical view of success? Are you, as parents, seeking God's will for your children whom God has given you? Or are you trying to fulfill your will through your children under the name of parental love? Happiness doesn’t come in grades. Happiness is never getting a good job after we graduate from the prestigious university. The true happiness is not a worldly success. Happiness is the success in the sight of God. Happiness is fulfilling the will of God. Happiness is being used by God as His instrument of God's salvation. And the secret of that happiness and success is that God is with us (Gen. 39:2, 3, 23; Josh 1:5, 9). I hope and pray that God is with our children and that He fulfills His will in and through them so that our children may be prosperous and successful in the sight of God and enjoy the happiness that God gives.