A father's true leadership

‘Even if you can get the results you want right away from people with your authoritarian charisma, but if you cannot really earn their trust by moving their hearts, it is not a true leadership." [Jin Jae Hyuk, ‘Parent’s Leadership Determines their Children's Future "]

            What is the father's true leadership toward his children?

            God gave authority to the father (the husband) of the family.  And the father is responsible for leading the family with this divine authority that God has given him.  But the problem is that many fathers have heard their children saying that they are an authoritarian father.  Why?  Maybe the reason is because we lack patience.  In other words, it may be because we want fast results from our children.  Although this kind of authoritarian charisma can bring quick action or result from our children, it cannot really move our children’s hearts.  What should we do?  How can we, the fathers of the family, lead our family well?

                First, we, the fathers of the family, should not abuse the authority God has given us.

The reason why we shouldn’t abuse God’s given authority is because when we abuse our authority we will never be able to earn the hearts of our children.  Rather, we must keep the peace and order of our family by wisely using God-given authority.  Nowadays, the father’s authority has fallen in many families.  Since our wives are ignoring our authority, our children are following their mothers’ example and also are ignoring our authority.  I think this is serious problem.  Not only the abusing the father’s authority is serious problem, but also the neglecting his authority is serious problem as well.

            `Second, we, the fathers of the family, must trust our children.

Of course, this won’t be easy.  Especially when we think that our children are lying to us, it will be very difficult for us to trust them.  But if we fully trust God and commit our children to God, we can trust our children.  Because we trust God, we must devote ourselves to trust our children.  When we do so, we will be able to earn our children’s hearts.  Although the quick results we want and expect will not seem obvious, our children’s hearts will progressively believe and follow us as we commit ourselves to trust them.

               Third, we, the father of the family, must have conversation that connects our hearts with our children’s hearts.

In particular, we should open our hearts first to our sons and have one-on- one conversation.  Of course this will not be easy either, especially to the fathers who don’t speak much.  They may not be familiar in talking with their children.  But we have to keep on trying to talk to our children.  We must deliberately try to communicate with our children.  We need to open each other's hearts and communicate truthfully rather than having a formal dialogue.  When we have the heart to heart conversation with our children, then we will be able to lead our children well.

What is it that we, the fathers, lead our children well?  It is that we have good influence on our children.  And that good influence means that our children feel the love of Jesus Christ and see little Jesus Christ through us and then imitate the image of Jesus Christ.  I hope and pray that we, the fathers, can have such good influence on our children.