What a man wants (6)

The sixth thing a man wants is "Sexuality": ‘Be grateful for his desire for sexual intimacy" (Emerson Eggerich, "Love & Respect").

            The woman doesn’t seem to understand her husband’s sexual desire.  This is because there is a difference between the man's sexual desire and the woman's sexual desire.  In other words, sexual satisfaction is not the first priority for woman’s need.  However, the first priority for man's need is sexual satisfaction.  Whether the man’s need of sexual satisfaction or the woman’s need of sexual satisfaction is the first or second, the important thing is that there is a clear difference between the man’s sexual desire and the woman’s sexual desire.

The woman doesn’t seem to understand the man's physical sexual satisfaction well.  This is because the woman wants more mental and emotional sexual satisfaction than physical sexual satisfaction.  Although the woman wants to feel intimacy and affection without sexual contact, her husband wants to show intimacy through sex.  That’s why the woman seems that she doesn’t understand the man's physical sexual satisfaction well.  And that’s why the woman may refuse to have sex with her husband when he asks for sex for his physical sexual satisfaction.  The reason she refuses to have sex with her husband is because she isn’t ready to have sex mentally or emotionally but her husband insists to have sex with her for his own sexual satisfaction.  She wants to feel intimacy and affection from her husband without having sex, but her husband seems to be asking for sex only. That’s why she refuses to have sex with her husband.  Is this refusal right in God's sight?

                Dr. Eggerich summarizes the differences between men and women about sexual desire: ‘Sex for him and affection for her is a two-way street.  Just as he has to satisfy her soul to approach her body, she must also satisfy his body if she wants to approach his soul’ (Eggerich).  The woman must know that satisfying her husband’s sexual need is an obedient to God's word of respecting her husband.  If she is genuinely respecting her husband, even if she doesn’t want to have sex with him, she satisfies his sexual need when he asks for sex.  But if she insists her position of wanting to feel affection from her husband without having sex, and thus if she refuses to have sex with her husband, then she isn’t truly respecting him.  The wise wife who obeys her husband because she respects him will never be the selfish wife who only sticks to her position.  Rather, she will feel affection from her husband by satisfying his sexual desire.  The woman needs to know that her husband should have his physical expression through sexual intimacy as she needs to have her emotional expression through talking (Eggerich).

                The woman sometimes feels like her husband only wants her body when he asks her for sex.  I think the reason is because she sees her husband's sexual desire in her desire for intimacy and affection without sexual contact.  In other words, she feels that her husband wants only her body because she doesn’t understand her husband’s sexual desire and she wants to feel intimacy and affection without having sexual contact with her husband.  That’s why the woman must understand that her husband needs sexual expression just as she needs emotional expression (Eggerich).  If she doesn’t understands this and refuse to allow her husband’s sexual expression, then Satan may tempt him so that he sins against God by having affair (1 Cor. 7:5).  Therefore, the woman must satisfy her husband's sexual desire.