Those who do not marry are better off
“So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does even better” (1 Corinthians 7:38).
Why should we marry? Do we really have to get married? In this world, since people say that we will regret if we marry and even if don’t marry, can we just live alone? Since many people live alone without getting married, isn’t it better for us to live alone too? Then, why should we not get married and live alone?
In 1 Corinthians 7:38, Apostle Paul says, “So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does even better.” Here we can think of two things.
First, those who marry are good.
Why is it good to get married? If we look only at 1 Corinthians 7, which is the context of 1 Corinthians 7:38, the Bible tells us the reason why. The reason is to avoid sexual immorality. Look at 1 Corinthians 7:2 – “But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.” Apostle Paul wrote a letter to the Corinthian church believers and encouraged them to marry in order to avoid sexual immorality. In particular, he told them to marry if they could not control themselves with their burning passion (v. 9). The reason is because “so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control” (v.5). So Paul told the Corinthian church believers that after they were married, the husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife and likewise the wife to her husband (v. 3). Here, each other's "duties" between the spouses Paul was talking about is sexual obligation. In fulfilling that sexual obligation, Paul said, “The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife” (v. 4). In other words, when the couple makes a sexual relationship, the wife's body belongs to the husband, and the husband's body to the wife. That means that the wife should not refuse to have sex with her husband, and the husband should not refuse to have sex with his wife. It is important to have mutual agreement and have sexual intercourse in marital relations because both of them have to enjoy sexual satisfaction from each other. That’s why Paul said “Do not deprive each other” (v. 5). If the couple does not use one room but use two separate rooms and rejects each other's sexual obligations, then they will not be able to control their burning passion and will be tempted by Satan. That’s why Paul says to deprive each other only by mutual consent for a time so that they may devote themselves to prayer but they should come together again (v. 5).
One of the reasons why we should marry is to avoid sexual immorality (vv. 2-3) [Another reasons are the need for helpful companionship (Gen 2:18-24, 1 Cor. 11:9) and to have godly offspring (Mal. 2:15)]. Especially those who cannot control the burning desire of passion must marry quickly. Those who are already married should fulfill their sexual duty to each other in order to prevent Satan from tempting them. Sexual immorality must be avoided as the couple enjoys sexual satisfaction through sexual relations in one room and one bed without being separated from each other.
Second, those who do not marry are better than those who marry.
Why is not being married better than getting married? As I read in 1 Corinthians 7, Paul repeatedly writes to the Corinthian church believers and says: "It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am” (saying to those who have not married and widows) (v. 8), “But if she does, she must remain unmarried” (saying to those who are married) (v. 11), “I think that it is good for you to remain as you are” (saying to those who are single) (v. 26) and “In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is” (saying to the widows) (v. 40). What Paul says here is that it is better to stay unmarried and remain single. He said to those who are single, widows, those who divorce that it is better to remain alone. But if they do marry, they have not sinned (v. 28). And if the wife is separated from her husband, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband (vv. 10b-11). The Bible says, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery” (Lk. 16:18). Although the Bible says that "a husband must not divorce his wife" (1 Cor. 7:11), what if the husband disobeys the command and divorces his wife and the divorced woman remarries with another man. Is she committing adultery? When we look at from 1 Corinthians 7:10, Paul says that “a wife must not separate from her husband” (v. 10) and “a husband must not divorce his wife’ (v. 11). Why is the woman leaving her husband? Why does the husband divorce his wife? Is it not committing adultery when he divorces his wife and remarries another woman? Is it not committing adultery when she leaves her husband and remarries another man according to Luke 16:18? Isn’t that why Paul said is she is separated from her husband “she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband”? (1 Cor. 7:11) However, it seems to be different if a spouse dies. This is what Paul says in verse 39: “A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.” In other words, if the husband is dead, the wife is free to remarry anyone she wishes, but “he must belong to the Lord” (v. 39). The important thing here is that “he must belong to the Lord.” She should remarry according to the standards of the Lord's Word. It is not the Bible's teaching that if a man remarries a "divorced woman" is to commit adultery? (Lk. 16:18) and a widow should not remarry a divorced man? Then, if the widow remarries the divorced man, would it be still a violation of the biblical standard? Also, isn’t it okay for the widow to remarry the single man? Isn’t it okay for the widow to remarry the widower? However, I don’t think that the divorced man remarrying with another woman in conflict, strife, and suffering is in the Lord.
The Bible says that "God has called us to live in peace" (v. 15). It is a lesson that the married child of God must live in peace with his or her spouse. Nonetheless, many Christian couples do not live peacefully, but are divided and divorced in conflict and suffering. Wouldn’t it be better to just stay alone rather than remarry? Of course, if they cannot control their passion (sexual desire), how can they keep staying alone? Isn’t it okay to reconcile with their ex-husband or ex-wife again? Is it because they do not want to try? Why do they always want to find a new man or new woman and remarry? Why don’t they think that it is adultery? Is this because we are so accustomed to the flow of the world that there are so many divorces and remarriages? Is it a valid reason for divorce from the viewpoint of the Bible that a woman is separated from her husband and a husband forsakes his wife because of personality or money problems? Since the Word of God is no longer the standard in our lives and because we do not have Jesus as the Lord in our marital relationship anymore, aren’t we doing it according to our will instead of the Lord's will? Although God is telling the Christian couples to live in peace, it seems that we are living comfortably instead in peace. So we think whatever is comfortable to us and we do whatever we want for our own comfort. Isn’t this world where we marry, divorce and remarry for our own comfort? This is what Paul says: "In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is" (v. 40).
The reason why Paul says that not marrying is better than being married is “to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord (v. 35). If we marry, then our interests will be divided (v. 34) and we have to be concerned (v. 32). In other words, “a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world – how he can please his wife” (v. 33) and “a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world – how she can please her husband” (v. 34). But an unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs – how he can please the Lord (v. 32) and an unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: “Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in body and spirit” (v. 34). That is why the Bible says that "he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does even better" (v. 38).