The purpose of marriage (3) – The avoidance of sexual immorality

       In 1 Corinthians 7:2-3, Apostle Paul speaks of the third purpose of marriage: “But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.  The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.”  The problem of sexual immorality is very serious one and I am sure everybody is aware of that.  Of course, the problem of sexual immorality is to say that the physical union outside the marriage and the physical union of a person other than his wife or her husband after marriage.  But even before this, I think the main problem starts in our hearts.  Here, I am not disregarding the physical union.  What I am saying is that the sexual immorality starts within our hearts before sexual immorality in the physical union.  That’s why Jesus said, “…  anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Mt. 5:28).

                I think this evil age we are living in is a time where people pursue their sexual pleasure like the people in Sodom and Gomorrah that is beyond sexual satisfaction that they should enjoy only in the marital relationship that God created beautifully.  We are living in an era in which the general flow of society is that people are having sexual relations before marriage and commit adultery by having affair even after marriage.  Even we Christians seem to think, say and act that deny the sins of having premarital sex and of having affairs after marriage.  It seems we don’t take these sins seriously.  More and more, it is hard to see the beauty of Christian marriage where the young single Christians keep their purity and prepare their marriage with the marriage system that God desires.  It seems that many Christian singles are already losing their virginity before marriage.  They do not see it as very important before God.  It’s like Abraham who did not trust the word of God’s promise completely and could not wait for Isaac so he slept with Hagar, his wife’s maidservant, and had Ishmael.  Likewise, a lot of young single Christians are not waiting for their future spouses whom God has prepared but fall into sexual temptations and commit sins against God.  Although they supposed to keep their purity and give to the ones whom God has prepared for their future spouses, but now we live in a time when the word “virginity” seems to be heard in people’s ears somehow funny and naive.

One of the reasons why many Christian couples are divorced is the spouse’s affair.  How should we respond to married men and married women having affair?  How should we react to a Christian husband who does not love his wife as Jesus loves the church, but rather having affair with another woman?  I think many married men and married women nowadays are corrupting public morals by having affair.  And this kind of climate penetrates even into the church, and even the pastors seem to be in scandal.  I do not think that God's holiness is revealed in the marriage system, but rather that we are disgracing God’s holy name.  What are we going to do?

                First, the Christian singles must keep their purity.  They must not lose their purity.  They must keep their purity for their spouse whom God has prepared.  Those who are already married must be faithful in fulfilling our duties (obligations) toward each other.  In other words, we need to know each other's sexual needs and be faithful in satisfying each other’s sexual needs.  The common sense we know is that man's greatest need is sexual satisfaction.  But it seems many women do not know this because their first need is not sexual satisfaction.  It is also because the knowledge and understanding of the sex of the husband and wife are different and the sexual satisfaction they desire is also different.  As a result, it is true that there is always a risk that the couple will not be able to fulfill their sexual responsibilities toward each other.  That is why we must open our hearts and try to understand each other.  The husband must try to get to know his wife, especially her needs in terms of the priority of her needs.  I do not think we can say that the wife’s need is physical as the husband is in sexual relation.  The husband cannot and should not ignore her emotional and mental needs.  It seems that husband and wife feel differently in regard to feeling of being loved by each other.  That’s why if husband only wants to pursue his physical and sexual satisfaction without trying to satisfy his wife’s needs, then she will be vulnerable to get hurt.  And the hurt comes when she feels that her husband only wants her body and her body exists only for his sexual satisfaction.  On the other hand, the wife has an obligation to acknowledge her husband’s sexual needs and to satisfy that needs.  It is an obligation that Paul spoke in 1 Corinthians 7:3.

If the couple is having a wise sexual relationship, why would the husband or the wife have affair and be guilty of sexual immorality?  It is because both husband and wife are not getting satisfaction that sexual immorality is becoming a big problem in the church.  Therefore, for the avoidance of sexual immorality, which is the third purpose of marriage, we Christian married couples must fulfill each other's obligations to each other.  I also think it is desirable for Christian singles who are preparing to marry in the future to read the books on marital sex in a wise manner while keeping their purity well.