Conflict

                The more the couple knows each other as they are dating, the more they can reduce the conflict in their relationship.  When the single man and the single woman date, I think it is inevitable not to argue, to fight, to get hurt and even to say let’s break up.  Then I am sure they will struggle, worry and pray to God with tears.  But the problem is that many young couples lack skills or wisdom about how to deal with conflict.  So I want to think briefly about the conflict in three ways:

First, it is natural that there are conflicts between two different persons.

However, if the couple enlarges this natural thing in anger as if it was a big deal, and says ‘He doesn’t love me anymore’, ‘She is not the one that I thought she was’, etc. and say to each other ‘Let’s break up’ or something, this is not healthy respond at all.  There is conflict in any relationship.  We must keep in mind that conflict is extremely natural.

                Second, we have to deal with the conflict openly.

Conflicts should never be hidden.  We tend to avoid it when major conflicts arise.  The reason is because we have not learned how to solve small conflicts.  Because we do not have the skills necessary to solve small problems, if there is a conflict, one person is angry and the other person is mainly swallowing inside.  After all, in many situations, we tend to pass over the conflict instead of openly dealing with it.  So there is greater chance for a person or both in couple relationship to explode.  If so, then there is a high probability that the problem has already have gone down the drain.  Therefore, we have to deal with conflicts openly.

Third, we must make conflict an opportunity to know each other.

                If the couple has been dating each other for long time, they may not know each other well.  The difference between a man and a woman is the homework to be learned for life.  Although the man and the woman cannot know each other perfectly, they must devote themselves to get to each other.  And the good opportunity is conflict.  The reason for this is because conflicts expose the differences between men and women.  The wise couple knows how to use conflict as an opportunity to get to each other intimately.