A mourner who refuses to be comforted

"So Jacob tore his clothes, and put sackcloth on his loins and mourned for his son many days.  Then all his sons and all his daughters arose to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. And he said, "Surely I will go down to Sheol in mourning for my son." So his father wept for him" (Genesis 37: 34-35).

There was a grandmother in our church who lost her three children before her death.  Her husband died early and had all three of her six children died when there were adults.  The last son who died at the age of 56 years died as he was sleeping at her apartment living room.  I still remember that moment when her son died.  She was wailing and telling me, "Pastor, Pastor".  I cannot forget what she said to me after her son’s funeral service: 'Pastor, I am resentful to God.'  I cannot imagine how much her heart was aching when I saw her wailing after losing her adult son.  I am sure we cannot fully understand the parents' hearts of losing their beloved child.  I am sure that a mother’s pain and a father’s pain are different.  The problem is that no one can comfort the hearts of the parents who lost their children.  Of course, the beloved family members, the relatives, the friends will try to comfort the parents who lost their children but that parents will refuse to be comforted because their hearts are so painful.

Jacob in Genesis 37: 34-35 was like that.  He refused to be comforted by his sons who tried to comfort him.  The reason his sons tried to comfort Jacob was because Jacob was mourning for his son Joseph (v. 34) whom he loved more than all his sons (v. 3) because Jacob thought that Joseph had been devoured by a wild beast (v. 33).  In other words, Jacob refused to be comforted by his other sons when he was mourning for his beloved son Joseph’s death.   How painful was Jacob’s heart that he refused to be comforted by his sons?  This extreme suffering can only be comforted by the Holy Spirit.  In other words, there is a mourning that can only be comforted by God, for which man cannot comfort.  And that mourning is the death of a beloved child.  The pain of separation on this earth with beloved child can only be comforted by God.  That’s why we are praying to God.  There is nothing much we can do except praying to God to comfort those parents who lost their children.  In doing so, God will answer our prayer and show mercy to those parents who lost their children by comforting their mournful hearts.  Not only that, God will strengthen and hold them so that they can endure the great sorrow, pain and suffering and will overcome them.  And through all this process, God will manifest His glory.  As a result, we will see the beauty of Christians through our brothers and sisters in Christ.

There are many people around us who need comfort.  There are a lot of beloved brothers and sisters in Christ around us who are in pain, sorrow and suffering.  And God wants to use us His instrument to comfort them.  Therefore, we should pray to God so that we can be used as a comforting instrument of God in order to comfort them rather than be comforted.  In particular, we must acknowledge that we have brothers and sisters in Christ who are mourning whom we cannot comfort.  So we should pray for them quietly and earnestly before God.  In doing so, the Holy Spirit God will comfort them, and they will be able to comfort the mourners even in such painful situations.