When I am greatly afraid and distressed
“Then Jacob was greatly afraid and distressed … "Deliver me, I pray, from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau; for I fear him, that he will come and attack me and the mothers with the children”(Genesis 32:7a, 11).
Are you afraid of death? Are not you afraid of your own death as well as the death of your family members? If you are afraid in a turning point of life and death and don’t know what to do in that crisis, what would you do?
In Genesis 32:7a, 11, Jacob prayed to God when he was greatly afraid and distressed. The reason why Jacob was greatly afraid and distressed was because the messengers whom he sent before him to his brother Esau in the land of Seir, the country of Edom (v. 3), told the news that Esau was coming to meet him with 400 men (v. 6). So Jacob prayed to God when he was greatly afraid and distressed and when he couldn’t understand how to solve the fear of death and the crisis of life and death. How did he pray to God? There are three things we can think of:
First, when Jacob was greatly afraid and distressed, he prayed God, remembering all the grace God had given him.
Look at Genesis 32:9-10: “Jacob said, "O God of my father Abraham and God of my father Isaac, O LORD, who said to me, 'Return to your country and to your relatives, and I will prosper you,' I am unworthy of all the lovingkindness and of all the faithfulness which You have shown to Your servant; for with my staff only I crossed this Jordan, and now I have become two companies.” When Jacob left his uncle Laban’s house and was heading toward to Canaan, his hometown, he heard from his messengers that his brother Esau was coming to meet him with 400 men (v. 6). So he was greatly afraid and distressed (v. 7). At that time, Jacob offered a prayer of thanksgiving to God as he remembered all the lovingkindness and of all the faithfulness which God had shown to him (v. 10). Twenty years ago, when Jacob deceived his brother Esau and stole his blessing from his father Isaac, he ran away to the house of his uncle Laban out of fear of death because Esau wanted to kill him. And when Jacob was in his uncle’s house for 20 years, God blessed him so much that “for with my staff only I crossed this Jordan, and now I have become two companies” (v. 10). When Jacob was greatly afraid and distressed, he prayed to God as he remembered God's abundant grace and blessing.
I still remember what my grandmother said to me and my wife when my grandmother was hospitalized many years ago. At that time, my grandmother was lying down on the bed side and she was crying. I thought she was crying because she was afraid of death. So I asked her why she was crying. My grandmother told me that ‘God loves our family so much that God raised several pastors. And I am so thankful to God and that’s why I am crying.’ The tears that my grandmother shed were tears of thanksgiving. I don’t know if I can shed tears of thanksgiving to God before death. Not only in my grandparents but also in those old church members who already passed away and those who are still alive, I see a glimpse of God’s abundant grace in their lives especially during the time of the Japanese occupation and the Korean War. Through what I heard from them, I saw little bit how God kept them alive as they were going through those difficult times and brought them all the way to America. I still remember that some of them were thankful to God and praised God even before their imminent death. I want these memories to be remembered more vividly in front of my own impending death. Therefore, I also want to thank God and offer a prayer to God before death in remembrance of all the grace God has given me.
Second, when Jacob was greatly afraid and distressed, he prayed to God as he was holding onto the promise word of God.
Look at Genesis 32:12 – “For You said, 'I will surely prosper you and make your descendants as the sand of the sea, which is too great to be numbered.” Jacob was great afraid that his brother Esau would come with his 400 men and kill all his wives and children (v. 11). But Jacob overcame this fear of death by praying to God by holding unto the promise word of God. In fact, Jacob refused to be drawn to his feeling in the very frightening situation, and petitioned God by faith in the fact of God's promise. He was able to do this because he prayed to God as he remember “all the lovingkindness and of all the faithfulness with You have shown to Your servant” (v. 10).
Like Jacob, I want to pray to God as I remember all the lovingkindness and of all the faithfulness that God has shown me when I am greatly afraid and distressed. By doing so, I want to be led by the Word of God’s Truth rather than my emotion so that I may overcome the terrible fears in me. I don’t want to be afraid of the waves that come into my life, not knowing what to do. Rather, I want to cry out to God by being led by His promise word of two fish and the five loaves (Jn. 6:1-15) that is written on my heart, as I remember His grace. Just as Jacob, who longed for the grace of God's salvation (Gen. 32:11), prayed to God as he took hold of the promises of God, I also want to hold onto the promised Word of God, John 6: 1-15, for myself and Matthew 16:18 for our church, and go to God in prayer. By doing so, I want to enjoy the calm peace of God, like the calm waves in the depths of the sea, even in the storms of life.
Third and last, when Jacob was greatly afraid and distressed, he persistently cried out to God without giving up until God blessed him.
Look at Genesis 32:26 – “Then he said, ‘Let me go, for the dawn is breaking’ But he said, ‘I will not let you go unless you bless me’.” Jacob took his family and all his possessions and sent them across the ford of the Jabbok and he was left alone wrestled with an angel of the Lord until daybreak (vv. 22-24). And when the angel said, “Let me go, for the dawn is breaking”, Jacob said “I will not let you go unless you bless me” (v. 26). What does this mean? Jacob was determined to not let him go and continue to pray until he was blessed by God. Do we have this determination and persistence?
We must also hang on to God with this kind of determination. We must ask God with determination that we will not stop praying until God answers our prayers. We should never stop praying. We should not give up praying so easily. We must ask God persistently. We must be patient and pray to God. God will faithfully fulfill His promise to us. We must pray to this faithful God, 'We will not give up praying to You until You answers our prayers.'
I don’t want to fear the death. I don’t want to be afraid of my own death as well as the death of my beloved wife and children. Rather, I want to be afraid that my dear friends do not believe in Jesus and die forever. I fear that my beloved church members' families and relatives who do not believe in Jesus will taste eternal death without believing in Jesus. I want to be more and more afraid and my heart to become more distressed. Therefore, I may be able to ask God in extreme fear and in the despair of my heart. I want to pray earnestly to God for their salvation with love of soul, like Moses and Paul, even to the point where I will be cut off from Christ and my name will be wiped out of the book of life. I want to remember the grace of God’s salvation that God has given me, and ask for the grace of salvation to the dying souls whom God loves. I want to pray to God by faith who is faithful in fulfilling His promises to me until I receive His answers of my prayers.