How to Sharpen One Another

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17)

Just as iron sharpens iron, we must sharpen our friends.
But how exactly can we sharpen our friends? Today, during the early morning prayer meeting, I thought about four ways.

First, to sharpen our friends, we must reflect our hearts to them.
Look at Proverbs 27:19:
“As water reflects the face, so one’s life reflects the heart.”
Just as our face is reflected when we hold it up to the water of a stream, we must reflect our hearts in our encounters with friends. We should open the door of our hearts wide and treat our friends with sincerity and transparency. Especially in conversations, we must open our hearts to our friends with honesty, transparency, and truthfulness. When we do this, our hearts will be connected. When the Holy Spirit who dwells within us enables our hearts to connect with our friends’ hearts, we can sharpen one another.

Second, to sharpen our friends, we must counsel them with God’s word of truth.
Look at Proverbs 27:9:
“Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice.”
The Holy Spirit not only opens our hearts and makes us transparent to our friends but also reminds us of the word of truth so that we can counsel our friends with it. The Holy Spirit leads us to counsel our friends with God’s word at the right time. Timing is important because no matter how much we counsel with God’s word, if the timing is wrong, we will never be able to sharpen our friends. This is why the writer of Proverbs says in 27:14:
“If anyone loudly blesses their neighbor early in the morning, it will be taken as a curse.”
No one likes to hear loud blessings early in the morning. The Holy Spirit living in us gives us grace according to the timing to counsel our friends with God’s truth and sharpen them.

Third, to sharpen our friends, we must praise them.
Look at Proverbs 27:2:
“Let someone else praise you, and not your own mouth; an outsider, and not your own lips.”
When we open the door of our hearts and talk with our friends, we should not only counsel with God’s word but also praise our friends. How is this possible? The Holy Spirit dwelling in us makes it possible. The indwelling Holy Spirit opens our spiritual eyes so we can see the strengths in our friends. The Holy Spirit enables us to praise those strengths. By praising, the Holy Spirit encourages, comforts, and strengthens our friends through us. Therefore, we must praise our friends and never be stingy with praise. We must sharpen our friends by praising them with God’s love.

Finally, fourth, to sharpen our friends, we must rebuke them.
Look at Proverbs 27:5-6:
“Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.”
Though we are accustomed to hidden love rather than rebuke, the writer of Proverbs says that open rebuke is better than hidden love. He also says that a friend’s faithful rebuke is better than the enemy’s deceitful kisses. In the NASB English Bible, “the wounds of a friend” is used for “친구의 통책.” This means the wounds or hurts a friend gives. How can the wounds a friend gives be better than the enemy’s false kisses? It is because the enemy hates us and tries to destroy us even with deceitful kisses, while the friend loves us and tries to build us up with sincere rebuke. We must understand that a friend rebukes us because of love. We must also realize that the emotional wounds that come from loving rebuke are beneficial for us. We must be able to give such beneficial wounds to our friends in love as well. When we do this, we can sharpen our friends.

Just as iron sharpens iron, we must sharpen our friends.
We must open the door of our hearts and, through the word of truth the Holy Spirit living in us reminds us of, we sharpen our friends. We must also see the strengths in our friends that the Holy Spirit reveals and sincerely praise them. And we must rebuke our friends with the love of the Holy Spirit. Therefore, by sharpening our friends, we give glory to God.