The Pain of the Heart, the Joy of the Heart

[Proverbs 14:10-35]

Dear friends, is your heart joyful right now, or is it in pain? If your heart is in pain, why is it so? If your heart is joyful, why is it joyful? I am reminded of the saying, "When sorrow is shared, it is halved; when joy is shared, it is doubled." But, in reality, do we truly share the sorrows and joys that we experience in our lives with those whom we love? Perhaps we are somewhat willing to share our joy with others, but for some reason, we struggle to share our individual sorrows. One reason might be that when we share our sorrow, we feel that others cannot truly understand the depth of our pain. And personally, I believe this reason is valid. No one can fully understand the sorrow that each of us experiences. This is true not only for sorrow but also for joy. The sorrow or joy in our hearts is something that no one can fully comprehend. Even my spouse, who is one with me, cannot fully understand my heart, and likewise, I believe the members of the church, who are one in the Lord, cannot fully understand each other's sorrow or joy. Nevertheless, in Romans 12:15, the Bible tells us, "Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep." Why should we do this? When I think about this, I am reminded of Hebrews 4:15, "For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has been tempted in every way just as we are, yet without sin." I believe that God desires for the members of His church to sympathize with one another, just as our great high priest, Jesus, sympathizes with us. Therefore, the church must be a community that rejoices together and weeps together.

The Pain of the Heart, the Joy of the Heart

In today’s passage, Proverbs 14:10, the Bible says, "The heart knows its own bitterness, and no stranger shares its joy." Based on this verse, I want to reflect on two things that God is teaching us through the title “The Pain of the Heart, the Joy of the Heart.”

First, let’s think about the "pain of the heart". Let us reflect on when we experience pain in our hearts. I will share eight situations where this pain might arise:

1. When our home falls apart, our hearts experience pain.

Let’s look at the first part of Proverbs 14:11: "The house of the wicked will be destroyed..." Here, "house" is understood by some commentators (Walvoord) to refer not only to family members but also to possessions. If this interpretation is correct, this verse is telling us that the house of the wicked, meaning their family and possessions, will be destroyed. Even though it may seem like the wicked prosper on this earth, we are reminded that it is temporary (see Psalm 73). Therefore, we must not forget that although the house of the wicked may seem to flourish for a time, it will ultimately be destroyed. Why? Because of the wickedness of the wicked. The holy and just God will bring ruin to the house of the wicked due to their sin.

I have applied this word to us Christians (the righteous). When doing so, I thought that, if there are unrepented sins in the homes of believers, and if we have not received forgiveness from God, our homes could also collapse. The problem lies in our sins. If we do not repent of our sins, our homes will inevitably suffer because of those sins. One of the sufferings is that our lives will become difficult. Look at the second part of Proverbs 14:34: "... sin is a disgrace to a people." What does this mean? The phrase “disgrace” here refers to “lack or hardship”. In other words, when a people has many sins, their lives will become hard (Park Yun-Seon). Of course, this is talking about how the people of a nation will suffer due to sin, but I believe this principle can also apply to our families. If there is much sin in our families, their lives will inevitably become difficult. Another suffering that our family can experience due to sin is shame. Look at the second part of verse 35: "... the servant who causes disgrace to his master will face his wrath." This verse refers to a servant who brings disgrace to his master, but if we apply it to our families, it means that if there is much sin in a family, not only will their lives become difficult, but they may also experience shame. For example, if children go astray and commit many sins, they can bring shame to their parents and disgrace to the family. Even parents, if they commit many sins, can bring shame to their children and cause great disgrace to the family. I believe we refer to such families as "broken families." Friends, if our family is becoming a broken family due to many sins, our hearts will certainly be in pain. What should we do? We must rely on the precious blood of Jesus shed on the cross, confess our sins and the sins of our family to God, and repent. When we do this, God will forgive our sins and the sins of our family and cover all our sins. As a result, God will turn our hearts' pain into joy (pleasure).

Secondly, when we walk on a path that seems right to us but is not right in God's eyes, our hearts will experience pain.

Look at Proverbs 14:12: "There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death." This verse is repeated exactly in Proverbs 16:25. King Solomon said, "There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death." When reflecting on this, I think that, for Solomon, the path he considered right was his love for many foreign women, in addition to the daughter of Pharaoh (1 Kings 11:1), and his relationships with them (v. 2). Clearly, God had warned the Israelites that if they intermingled with foreigners, their hearts would turn away from God and they would follow after other gods (v. 2). However, King Solomon, thinking that he was doing what was right, loved many foreign women and took them as wives (v. 2). What was the result? Look at 1 Kings 11:4: "For when Solomon was old, his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not loyal to the Lord his God, as was the heart of his father David." Ultimately, even the wise King Solomon, when he grew old, fell into idolatry and sinned against God. Although God had appeared to him twice and told him not to follow other gods (1 Kings 9-10), Solomon did not obey God's command (v. 10). In the end, I believe Solomon came to realize that the path he thought was right, the one he chose based on his own judgment, was actually the way of death.

Friends, in Proverbs 15:25, the Bible says: "The Lord will destroy the house of the proud." God, because Solomon ignored God's warning and disobeyed His command, sinned and, during the reign of his son Rehoboam, God split the kingdom of Israel into two. When thinking about how a kingdom was divided into two, I am reminded of what Jesus said in Mark 3:24-26: "If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand. And if Satan rises up against himself and is divided, he cannot stand, but has an end." If our household is divided, our house will not stand firm. If there is division within the family, all the family members will inevitably experience pain in their hearts. Friends, even King Solomon, who was considered the wisest in the world, ignored the word of God and chose a path he thought was right, only to find out that the path he chose led to death. When we read Proverbs 14:12 today, which tells us "There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death," how should we receive this message? At the very least, even if we think a path is right, we must examine it again in light of God's word and check whether the path that seems right to us is truly right in God's eyes. As we examine it, if the Holy Spirit shows us through God's word that the path we thought was right is not right in God's eyes, we must turn back from that path. When we do this, God will turn our heart's pain into joy (pleasure).

Third, when we pursue the pleasures of this world, our hearts are filled with pain.

Look at Proverbs 14:13 in today’s passage: “Even in laughter the heart may ache, and the end of joy may be grief.” This verse points to the fact that the pleasures of this world are neither pure nor lasting. It means that after experiencing the pleasures of the flesh in this world, sorrow inevitably follows (Park Yun-Seon). Look at King Solomon. He thought that having many foreign women as wives or concubines was the right thing to do, but in the end, when he grew old, he sinned by worshiping the idols of these women. At the beginning, when he had these many foreign women as wives or concubines, how much joy and pleasure must he have experienced? But later, when he suffered from the consequences of his actions, how much sorrow and grief must Solomon have felt because of them? I cannot help but agree with the statement that after the pleasures of the flesh in this world, there will inevitably be sorrow. Looking back at my own past life, I also cannot help but agree with the message in verse 13 of today’s passage. I sought meaning, happiness, and joy in this world, but in the end, what this world gave me were only sorrow and tears. I especially remember the painful realization that the world can only offer sorrow and tears, when two of my close friends were shot and killed, and I had to bury them. That moment made me feel deeply that all this world could offer me was sadness and tears.

In Proverbs 14:16, the Bible says: “The wise man fears and departs from evil, but the fool rages and is self-confident.” The Bible tells us that the fool, lacking the wisdom that comes from fearing God, believes only in himself and lives arrogantly, committing sins in this world. Therefore, he pursues the pleasures of this world, living a dissolute life, and quickly becomes angry, doing foolish things (verse 17). Moreover, the fool, as stated in the latter part of Proverbs 14:29, is impatient and his foolishness is evident. In the end, he makes foolishness his legacy (verse 18). Such a fool may appear to laugh and enjoy himself on the outside, but in the end, what remains is nothing but anxiety and sorrow in his heart. Look at Proverbs 15:13: “A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.” When I think of this verse, I feel that many Christians wear a smile on their faces, but deep down, their hearts are burdened with sorrow, as mentioned in Proverbs 14:13. Therefore, when I see people who are always smiling on the outside, I often pause and reflect. The reason is that behind their ever-smiling faces, there may be a shadow of sorrow. I sometimes wonder if those smiling faces are hiding their sadness or distress. What is important is that when we have the joy and pleasure that God gives us in our hearts, our faces will shine. However, if we pursue the joy and pleasure that this world offers, the end will inevitably be pain, and we will experience sorrow and anxiety in our hearts.

Fourth, when our hearts stray, there is pain in our hearts.

Let us look at the first part of Proverbs 14:14 in today’s passage: “The backslider in heart will be filled with his own ways…” The phrase “backslider in heart” literally means “to return to old sinful habits” or “to be corrupted” [backslider in heart (Walvoord)]. It would be great if, after believing in Jesus and living a life of faith, our faith continued to grow and change positively. However, there are times when we feel that our spiritual growth has stopped, and we might even see that we are regressing. I believe this is a sign that we are drifting away from God. One of the bad phenomena that often appears during such times is that we begin to live away from the truth, chasing after lies, and even start to live a false life.

Friends, when our hearts stray, we depart from God, believe in lies, pursue lies, and begin living a life of falsehood. In the latter half of Proverbs 14:25, the Bible says, “A false witness is deceitful.” When we stray, we begin to devise evil plans in our hearts (6:18). In other words, we start plotting to harm others in our hearts (Park Yun-Seon). And we begin to plan evil (14:22). If we are planning evil and scheming wickedness, there is no way that there can be joy in our backsliding hearts. Instead, there is only pain. Why is this? It is because God will judge us according to our actions. In other words, God will reward us according to what we do (14:14).

Dr. Park Yun-Seon said, “After a person sins, they can cover it up for a time without repenting. But the day will come when it will shout and catch that person (James 5:4; Genesis 4:10). In other words, the sinner must take the initiative to confront their sin, confess it, and repent in order to resolve it. If they do not do this and let it go, the sin will catch up with them and take vengeance upon them” (Park Yun-Seon). I think this is an indisputable statement. I agree with the idea that if we do not repent of our sins, our sins will catch up with us and take vengeance upon us. On one hand, I agree with this, but on the other hand, it makes me fearful. The reason is that unrepented sins will surely have consequences.

For example, listen to what Jacob, who deceived and was deceived in the Old Testament, said when he came down to Egypt and spoke to Pharaoh: “The years of my pilgrimage are one hundred and thirty. My years have been few and difficult, and they do not equal the years of the pilgrimage of my ancestors” (Genesis 47:9). When I think about this confession of Jacob, I am reminded of the verses from Genesis 37:34-35. When Jacob saw Joseph’s coat stained with goat’s blood, he “tore his clothes, put on sackcloth, and mourned for his son many days.” But he did not receive comfort from any of his children. He said, “I will go down to the grave to my son in mourning” and wept for Joseph.

What lesson does this teach us? When our hearts stray, when we leave God, lie, deceive others, and act falsely, we can be certain that there will be consequences for our deceptive actions. These consequences mean that not only will we be deceived ourselves, but our hearts will be overwhelmed with pain and sorrow.

Therefore, in order not to fall into pain and sorrow, we must continually draw near to God faithfully so that our hearts do not stray. By doing so, we can prevent ourselves from falling into corruption. And when we draw near to God, we can enjoy the grace to recognize our sins and repent. As a result, God will turn our hearts of pain into joy.

Fifth, when we believe every word, our hearts experience pain.

Look at the first half of Proverbs 14:15: “The simple believes every word, but the prudent considers well his steps…” Here, the term "simple" refers to someone who is "naïve" due to a lack of experience or knowledge, or someone who is "easily deceived" (gullible). Such a person is easily influenced by others (Walvoord). In Proverbs 14:8, which we have already meditated on, the Bible says, "... the folly of fools is deception". What does this mean? It means that the folly of fools not only deceives others, but they also end up deceiving themselves. Therefore, the simple person is someone who believes others easily and is easily deceived, believing every word they hear (14:15). One example of this is the foolish young man in Proverbs 7:7-23 who falls into the trap of the cunning woman (7:5). This young man is seduced by her sweet words (7:11), the allure of her flattering lips (7:21), and follows her like a bull to the slaughter, as a fool going to his punishment with chains (7:22-23). What was the result? The Bible says that the result was that he was wounded, fell down, and even died (7:26-27).

If we become too naive and believe everything others say, we will inevitably experience pain in our hearts. We need wisdom. We must ask God for wisdom. Therefore, we must listen carefully to the words of others with the wisdom that God gives us. We must listen with discernment. By doing so, we can prevent our hearts from suffering.

Sixth, when we are hated by our neighbors, our hearts experience pain.

Look at Proverbs 14:20: “The poor is hated even by his neighbor, but the rich has many friends.” Jesus commanded us to “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39). Yet, although we know we should obey this command of Jesus, we still show favoritism in loving our neighbors. How do we show favoritism? We judge people by their appearance (James 2:1; see also John 7:24). For example, when someone enters the church “with gold rings and fine clothes” (2:2), we say, “Sit here in a good place” (2:3), but when a poor person enters “in filthy clothes” (2:2), we say, “You stand there, or sit at my footstool” (2:3). This action reflects that we are discriminating between the rich and the poor, judging with evil thoughts (2:4), and despising the poor (2:6). The Bible says that this is sin. In other words, judging people by their appearance is a sin against God (2:9).

In the first half of Proverbs 14:21, the Bible says, “He who despises his neighbor sins…” Here, the “neighbor” refers specifically to the “poor” mentioned in the first half of verse 20, or the “needy” mentioned in the second half of verse 21. In this sinful world, the poor and needy are not only hated by society (14:20), but they are also despised (14:21), and in some cases, even abused (31:9). As a result, the poor and needy often harbor envy toward the rich. Clearly, in the second half of verse 30, the Bible says, “Envy rots the bones”. I believe that today, in our society, the poor and needy are envious of the rich. Ultimately, in a society where people envy, hate, despise, and abuse each other, there can only be pain and sorrow, not peace.

Although this is the way the world operates, the church, as a community, must be different. In the church community, we should not discriminate or show favoritism between the poor and the rich. If there is discrimination or favoritism in the church, the poor and needy brothers will be hated, and they will inevitably suffer in their hearts. To prevent this, we must not judge people by their appearance or show favoritism, either inside or outside the church. Instead, we must obey Jesus' command and love our neighbors as ourselves. When we do this, the pain in our hearts will disappear, and we will experience joy and happiness in our hearts.

First, when our tent prospers, our hearts are filled with joy.

Let’s look at the second half of Proverbs 14:11: “… the tent of the righteous will prosper.” The house of the wicked is destined for destruction. The Bible says that their family will not only face hardships in life but will also be put to shame (v. 11). However, the second half of this verse tells us that the tent of the righteous will prosper. What does this mean? The righteous, who truly confess their sins and believe in the Lord, receiving His righteousness, live with their hope set on the heavenly kingdom, and thus, they dwell in a tent (Park Yun-Seon). Of course, this does not mean that we should all sell our houses and live in tents. When King Solomon says, “the house of the wicked…” and then refers to the righteous not having a “house” but a “tent”, the reason is that the righteous do not set their hope on this earth or live thinking about earthly things. Instead, they think about what is above, set their hope on the heavenly kingdom, and pursue eternal things. Therefore, the Bible says their tent will prosper.

Brothers and sisters, we are people of faith moving towards a better homeland (see Hebrews 11). This world is not our home. Our eternal home is the house in heaven. Therefore, while we live on this earth, we should set our hope on heaven and seek the things of the afterlife. When we do this, God will prosper our lives. He will make our houses and churches flourish and stable (Walvoord). The same can be said for nations. When the president and leaders of a nation are righteous and govern the country with justice, that nation will be established as a “nation of righteousness” (v. 34). In doing so, the people of that righteous nation will increase (v. 28), and God will elevate that nation, making it glorious. The righteous living in such prosperous and stable nations, churches, or homes will experience true joy and happiness given by God, living day by day with peace.

Second, when we live truthfully, our hearts are filled with joy.

Let’s look at the second half of Proverbs 14:14: “… the good man will be satisfied with his ways.” If our hearts are deceived (v. 14), we will turn away from God, believe in lies, pursue lies, and live falsely. We will speak lies and deceive others. When our hearts are deceived, we will even devise wicked schemes in our hearts. We will plan to harm others in our hearts, and we will promote evil (v. 22). A heart like this, deceived and corrupted, can only experience pain, because God will judge us according to our actions. However, if we are “good people” (v. 14)—that is, if we have received God’s grace of salvation, our souls are satisfied, and we live truthfully as Christians—our hearts will be filled with joy. Especially when we, like the “prudent person” mentioned in the first half of Proverbs 14:33, hold God’s truth in our hearts and live according to that truth (Park Yun-Seon), our hearts will inevitably be filled with joy and gladness. The sincere Christian, living according to God’s truth, becomes a true witness and, by saving others’ lives, will experience the joy of salvation and the joy of God (v. 25).

Third, when we trust only in the Lord and act according to His will, our hearts are filled with joy.

Let’s look at the second half of Proverbs 14:15: “… the prudent man considers his steps.” Here, a “prudent person” is someone who truly trusts in the Lord and acts according to His will (Park Yun-Seon). And “the prudent man is crowned with knowledge” (v. 18b). Therefore, such a person, with the knowledge of God, carefully considers his actions, not naively believing everything others say or being influenced by them. Instead, with the knowledge of God, he rightly judges and discerns the words of others, seeking only the will of the Lord and pursuing that will. As we already meditated on in Proverbs 14:8, the Bible says, “The wisdom of the prudent is to understand his way, but the folly of fools is deceit”. What does this mean? The foolish person, who does not fear God and disregards Him, will not seek God’s will. Instead of walking in the path that God desires, he walks according to his own wishes and desires (v. 8). On the other hand, the prudent person knows his way because he knows God’s will and walks according to it. In other words, the prudent Christian knows God’s will for his life and lives according to that will. He knows what he should do in accordance with God’s will and does it (1 Corinthians 7:17).

First, when we walk wisely, we will receive the favor of the King.

In today's scripture, Proverbs 14:35 says, “The servant who acts wisely will gain the king’s favor.” Similarly, when we act wisely (with wisdom), we will receive the favor of the King of Kings, our Lord. So, what does it mean to act wisely in the eyes of the Lord? It means doing what pleases God. So, what pleases God? It is living according to His will. When we live in obedience to God's word, He will be pleased with us, and when He is pleased, our hearts will also be filled with joy.

Second, when we live with sincerity, our hearts will be filled with joy.

In Proverbs 14:14, the second half says, “… the good man will be satisfied with his ways.” If our hearts are deceived (v. 14), we will depart from God, believe in lies, seek lies, and live deceitfully. We will speak lies and deceive others. When our hearts are deceived, we will also devise evil plans in our hearts. We will plot to harm others and promote evil (v. 22). A deceived heart will inevitably experience pain, because God will judge us according to our deeds. However, if we are “good people” (v. 14)—that is, if we have received God's grace of salvation and our souls are satisfied, living sincerely as Christians—our hearts will be filled with joy. Especially when, like the “prudent person” mentioned in the first half of Proverbs 14:33, we keep the truth of God in our hearts and live according to that truth (Park Yun-Seon), our hearts will naturally be filled with joy and gladness. The sincere Christian, living according to God's truth, becomes a true witness and, by saving lives, will taste the joy of salvation and the joy of God (v. 25).

Third, when we trust in the Lord alone and act according to His will, our hearts will be filled with joy.

In the second half of Proverbs 14:15, it says, “… the prudent man considers his steps.” A “prudent man” is someone who truly trusts in the Lord and acts according to His will (Park Yun-Seon). And “the prudent man crowns himself with knowledge” (v. 18b). Therefore, with the knowledge of God, he carefully considers his actions, not believing everything others say or being influenced by them. Rather, with the knowledge of God, he judges others' words correctly and seeks only the will of the Lord, pursuing it. As we have already meditated on Proverbs 14:8, the Bible says: “The wisdom of the prudent is to understand his way, but the foolishness of fools is deceit”. What does this mean? The foolish person does not fear or regard God, and because of this, he does not seek God's will. Instead of walking in the way that God desires, he walks according to his own desires and wishes (v. 8). On the other hand, the prudent person knows his way because he knows God's will and walks according to it. In other words, the prudent Christian knows the will of God for his life and lives according to it. He knows what he must do in accordance with God's will and does it (1 Corinthians 7:17).

Sixth, when we love our neighbors, our hearts are filled with joy.

Let’s look at today’s passage, Proverbs 14:21: “Whoever despises his neighbor sins; blessed is he who is kind to the poor.” If we disobey Jesus' command and fail to love our neighbor, but instead despise them, our hearts will inevitably be filled with pain. The reason for this is that we are sinning against God. However, if we obey Jesus' command and love our neighbor as ourselves, the more we do this, the more our hearts will be filled with joy and happiness. Look at the first verse of hymn 414, “When the love of Jesus shines”: “When the love of Jesus shines, joy comes, worries and anxieties vanish, and joy comes, leading us to pray and dispelling the darkness, when the love of Jesus shines, joy comes.” So, how should we love our neighbors? In the second half of Proverbs 14:21, the Bible commands us to “be kind to the poor.” The Bible says that such a person is blessed. Why is that? The reason is that showing compassion to the poor is an act of honoring the Lord (v. 31). This means that if we say we honor the Lord with our lips but do not show compassion to the poor, we are not truly honoring Him. We must show compassion with not just our lips but also with our actions, helping the poor with love. One thing we need to do this is mentioned in the first half of verse 29 of today’s passage, which speaks of having great understanding. When we have great understanding, we will be slow to anger towards our neighbors (v. 29). Also, we must not be impatient. When we are patient, we will love our neighbors with humility, especially showing compassion to the poor. Therefore, we will experience peace in our relationships with our neighbors (v. 30).

Seventh, when we labor diligently, our hearts are filled with joy.

Look at the first part of Proverbs 14:23: “In all labor there is profit, but idle talk leads only to poverty…” As we meditate on Proverbs, we see that King Solomon repeatedly speaks about laziness and diligence. The main point of these teachings is that we must not be lazy, but diligent. In the first part of Proverbs 14:23, King Solomon also says that “in all labor there is profit.” In other words, a person who only speaks and does no work will end up in poverty (v. 23), while a diligent person who works hard and sweats will gain profit. What kind of profit will that be? We can think of three benefits: (1) The Bible says that the diligent person will become rich. Look at Proverbs 10:4: “He who has a slack hand becomes poor, but the hand of the diligent makes rich.” The Bible teaches that the diligent person works hard, especially during the harvest season, and does not rest but works diligently to gather the harvest (v. 5). (2) The Bible says that the diligent person will have plenty to eat. Look at Proverbs 12:11: “He who tills his land will have plenty of bread, but he who follows frivolity is devoid of understanding.” By working diligently and tilling his land, he will naturally have an abundance of food. (3) The Bible says that the diligent person will rule over others. Look at Proverbs 12:24: “The hand of the diligent will rule, but the lazy man will be put to forced labor.” The lazy person will be subjected to servitude, but the diligent person will rule over others. This is also a benefit of diligence. When we think of these benefits, we realize that when we work hard and diligently, our hearts will be filled with joy.

I would like to conclude with a reflection. Often, we go up to the house of God and sing hymn 330, “To be freed from the yoke of suffering.” “To be freed from the yoke of suffering, I come to Jesus; I come to Him who gives freedom and joy…” As I sing this song of “forgiveness of sins,” I realize that there is much pain in this world, and many times we experience failures and disappointments. There are many reasons for this, but when I reflect on today’s passage, I realize that when, with a proud heart, I walk a path that seems right to me but is not the right path in God’s eyes, and when I seek the pleasures of this world, speak but do not act, and know that I should repent but cannot, it brings me pain and disappointment. So, as I sing hymn 330, I lay my proud heart before the cross and desire to follow the blessed Word of God. When I do this, I experience how God comforts my sad heart and gives strength to my disappointed body. With the strength He gives, I want to live trusting in Him alone and live according to His will. I want to live sincerely, fear God, and live a life that turns away from evil. I want to overcome evil with good. I want to love my neighbor according to Jesus’ command and work diligently in the Lord’s work. When I do this, I believe that the Lord will bless His Church and families.