I Am Afraid When I Think of My Children

"Beware lest you become weary in your old age and say, 'How I hated instruction! My heart despised correction! I would not obey my teachers or listen to those who instructed me! I have come to the brink of utter ruin in the midst of the whole assembly.'" (Proverbs 5:11-14)

As a father of three children, I have fears. The fear I have is that the children God has given us as gifts—Dylan, Yeri, and Yieun—might go astray during their teenage years. The reason I have this fear is probably because I myself went down the wrong path during my own teenage years. However, a greater fear than this is that these three children might betray Jesus and turn away from their faith and the church. This is a truly unimaginable fear for me, but since I cannot know the future, I can only look to the Lord.

When we look at today’s passage, Proverbs 5:11-14, we can catch a glimpse of the writer’s own fear. His fear was that after he died and his son grew old and his body weakened (verse 11), he would look back on his life with regret. What was the life the writer feared his son would regret? It can be summarized in two points: (1) "Why did I hate my parents' correction and despise their rebuke?" and (2) "Why did I not listen to the voice of my teachers?" If there is one truly significant encounter in the journey of life, it is the meeting with our parents and our teachers. These two encounters are important because our parents and teachers have the greatest influence on our lives. Particularly, the influence of our parents is much greater and more significant than that of our teachers. Of course, the teaching of teachers also has an impact on us, but I believe that the correction and rebuke from our parents have an even more profound influence.

However, the problem is that we reject the influence of both our parents and teachers. We dislike our parents' teachings and rebukes at home, and we do not listen to the teachings of our teachers at school. As a result, despite our parents’ and teachers’ desire for our well-being, we end up walking down a crooked path and falling into evil. What parent, and what teacher, would want to see their child or student walking down the path of sin? The writer of Proverbs is afraid of this. He fears that when he is dead and his son grows old, his son will look back on his life with regret for having despised his parents' correction and rebuke, and for not listening to his teachers’ instructions. He fears that his son will fall into all kinds of evil. As a father, the writer of Proverbs fears that his beloved son might face an undesirable end because he rejected the teachings and corrections of his parents and teachers.

Are you not afraid? When you think of your beloved children, do you not share the same fear as the writer of Proverbs? Or has what you feared already become a reality in your life?

As a father of three children, what should I do? What can I do? I believe what I must do is, like the writer of Proverbs, pass on "my wisdom" and "my understanding" (verse 1) to my children. How should I pass on my wisdom and understanding? Of course, I must teach them the word of God with my mouth, and the core of that word should be the gospel of Jesus Christ. But beyond that, I believe I must live a life that is obedient to God’s word and a life worthy of the gospel of Jesus Christ, both before God and my children. My heart is simply this: I pray earnestly to God that the fear this father has for his children will not become a reality.