A Broken Heart
[Psalm 143]
I have a cousin who, when he was a child, was very afraid of dark, gloomy rooms. As far as I remember, the reason he feared those dark places was because, when he was younger and did not listen to his parents, his father once placed him in a dark room as a form of punishment. I recall that when he was in middle school, during a retreat at our church, he was sent to a prayer mountain. Since he wouldn't listen, I believe the church deacon left him alone in a dark place as part of a disciplinary action. This experience was likely meant to correct his behavior. This cousin, who was once so terrified of dark places, came to mind as I meditated on Psalm 143 today. The reason is that in verse 4 of today's passage, David, the psalmist, says: "My soul is greatly distressed within me."
The word "distressed" in this context can be understood in various ways. According to the Yahoo dictionary, it is defined as "extremely bleak," "devastating," or "desolate." The Chinese character dictionary further explains it as "(a) dark and lonely," "(b) devastating and bleak," or "(c) miserable and hopeless." When David says that his heart is "distressed" in today's passage, the original Hebrew meaning suggests that David, because of his sin, was deeply fearful, almost to the point of shuddering, because he felt that God's judgment in the form of a great disaster was upon him. In other words, David, because of his wrongdoing, was encountering a great calamity, and his life was deeply dark and hopeless, leading to his broken spirit and heart. This is the context in which David wrote Psalm 143.
In verse 4 of Psalm 143, we see that David describes his state like this: "Therefore my spirit is overwhelmed within me; my heart is appalled." In short, David's condition was one of a "broken spirit" or a "distressed heart." In Psalm 142:3, which we meditated on last Wednesday, David also mentions that "my soul is greatly distressed within me," and here, in Psalm 143:4, David again speaks of his spirit being broken. Additionally, David's heart was in a state of great distress. Why was his spirit broken? Why was his heart so distressed? The reason is explained in verse 3 of today's passage: "For the enemy has persecuted my soul; he has crushed my life to the ground; he has made me dwell in darkness like those who have long been dead." David's spirit was broken, and his heart was distressed because his enemy was persecuting him. This enemy, most likely, was his son Absalom. How can we infer this? Some manuscripts of the Septuagint mention in the title of this psalm: "When his son Absalom pursued him to capture him" (Park Yun-seon). In contrast to Psalm 142, where David was persecuted by King Saul, in this psalm, David's enemy, who sought to take his life, was his own son, Absalom. This shows that, both before and after becoming king, David’s life was filled with suffering, persecution, and trials that broke his spirit and distressed his heart.
However, one key difference is that when David was persecuted by King Saul, he had not sinned against God, and the persecution was not a result of God's judgment. In contrast, the persecution David faced from Absalom was a direct consequence of his own sin. This is why Psalm 143 is the final one of the seven penitential psalms (6, 32, 38, 51, 102, 130, 143) (Park Yun-seon). David knew that the persecution he was facing, and the brokenness of his spirit and distress of his heart, were the result of his sin. As a result, he was even more sorrowful, troubled, and despairing. In this situation, when the one who sought his life was not just anyone, but his own son Absalom, how miserable and heartbreaking was that? The enemy who sought to destroy his life was his own flesh and blood. Can we even begin to imagine that? Trying to put ourselves in David's shoes, I imagined the scene of David, the father, fleeing from his own child. What could be more miserable and hopeless than that? In such a situation, David felt as if he had been dead for a long time, living in the darkness (verse 3).
In this desperate and painful situation, how did David respond? We can consider two key things from the passage today.
First, David remembered the works of the Lord in the past.
Look at Psalm 143:5: "I remember the days of old; I meditate on all Your works; I muse on the work of Your hands." As we continue to meditate on the Psalms every Wednesday, we often see the psalmists' patterns of prayer. One of these patterns is remembering God's works in the past during their prayers. Personally, I have started to adopt this habit of prayer—looking back at the history of God's salvation and recalling the grace He has shown. Before I started meditating on the Psalms, my habit of looking back often focused on past difficulties, painful memories, and sinful recollections. But as I meditate on the Psalms, the Holy Spirit has begun to shift my focus. Now, when I look back, I focus not on the struggles and sins but on how God delivered me, how He showed grace during times of hardship, and how He saved me. This shift in focus helps me remember not only the works of God but also the greatness of His divinity. This focus enables me to boldly seek God with faith.
In Psalm 143:5, when David, in the midst of the distress brought by Absalom’s persecution, remembers the "all" that the Lord has done, it is clear that he was reflecting on the grace of God that delivered him from King Saul's persecution before he became king. Why do I think this? The two situations are remarkably similar. In both Psalm 142 (which we meditated on last Wednesday) and Psalm 143 (today’s passage), David's spirit was broken, and he found himself in truly miserable circumstances. I believe the recurring situations in our lives are God's providence to make us remember His past salvations. A great example of this is found in John 21:9. After Jesus’ resurrection, when He appeared to the disciples by the Sea of Tiberias, He asked Peter three times, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than these?” (John 21:15-17). This situation closely resembled the time when Peter denied Jesus three times. How do we know it was similar? Both situations involved a "fire." Do you remember? When Peter denied Jesus, Luke describes it this way: "And when they had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and had sat down together, Peter sat among them" (Luke 22:55). When Peter was asked by the resurrected Jesus three times, "Do you love Me?" he was sitting by a fire, just like the one he had been by when he denied Jesus. The memory of his sin of denial would have surfaced. Jesus, by recreating the past scene, delivered Peter from his guilt and gave him a new mission. How amazing is God’s love and providence!
Therefore, like David, when we are overwhelmed and distressed by pain and adversity in our current lives, we must remember the grace God has shown us in the past. Especially, no matter how difficult our current situation may be, we must reflect on how God saved us in even harder times. By meditating on His grace in the past, we can be encouraged in the present, remembering that the God who answered our prayers before will certainly deliver us from any current difficulty. May we, like David, find strength and hope in remembering the works of the Lord in the past, knowing that He will surely deliver us again.
Finally, secondly, David made his request to the Lord.
Look at Psalm 143:6 in the Bible: "I stretch out my hands to You; my soul longs for You like a dry land (Selah)." David, in the midst of his enemies’ persecution, when his heart was wounded, desperate, and in agony, stretched out his hands toward the Lord and pleaded with Him. While pleading, David expected God to answer his prayer "quickly" (verse 7). The situation was that urgent. David describes this desperate situation in today's passage, verse 7, saying: "Answer me quickly, O Lord, my spirit fails; do not hide Your face from me, or I will be like those who go down to the pit." Here, we can meditate on four points in David’s prayer and apply them to our own lives of prayer:
(1) David did not focus on his unfaithfulness and unrighteousness, but instead relied on the Lord’s faithfulness and righteousness as he pleaded with God.
Look at Psalm 143:1: "Hear my prayer, O Lord, give ear to my pleas for mercy; in Your faithfulness answer me, in Your righteousness." When David’s soul was distressed and his heart was desolate, instead of focusing on the situation, he looked to God, the One who governs and controls that situation. He relied on God’s faithfulness and righteousness as he made his plea. When we meditated on Psalm 142 last Wednesday, we encouraged starting our prayers by proclaiming the sovereignty of God. In today’s Psalm 143, we see that David, before anything else, prayed by relying on God's faithfulness and righteousness. This should be the pattern of our prayers. When we are in painful situations due to our sins, our natural instinct is to look at ourselves and our circumstances, and often, we end up complaining and grumbling without realizing that our sin might be the cause. However, we must not do that. Instead, we should use such moments as opportunities to look at ourselves before God and recognize our unfaithfulness and unrighteousness. Only then can we truly rely on His faithfulness and righteousness.
(2) In his prayer, we see that David, when his soul was distressed and his heart was in anguish, asked God to allow him to hear His Word.
Look at Psalm 143:8: "Let me hear in the morning of Your steadfast love, for in You I trust; make me know the way I should go, for to You I lift up my soul." In the midst of his distress, David, relying on God's faithfulness and righteousness, asked God to let him hear His steadfast love in the morning. Why did David desire to hear the Lord’s merciful word? It was because he wanted to be led by it. In other words, David wanted to hear the Lord’s word so that he could learn His will and follow it (verse 10). Therefore, David prayed, "Make me know the way I should go" (verse 8). When we are being disciplined by God due to our sins and are in anguish because of the pain and suffering of that discipline, we, like David, must long for the Lord’s Word. Why? Because through His Word, we will understand the way we should go and make a U-turn, following the path that He desires for us. Even if we have sinned against God and walked wrongly until the time of suffering, we must pray, relying on His faithfulness and righteousness, and let His Word guide us to walk on the path of truth and righteousness that He desires for us.
(3) David pleaded with God to deliver him.
Look at Psalm 143:9 in today’s passage: "Deliver me, O Lord, from my enemies; I take refuge in You." David, in the midst of persecution by his enemies, when his soul was distressed and his heart was in despair, fled to the Lord. Just as in Psalm 142, which we meditated on last Wednesday, where David, while fleeing from King Saul, knew that no one could offer him refuge, he did not turn to anyone (142:4), but fled to the Lord, who was his refuge (verse 5), so in today’s passage in Psalm 143, he once again fled to the Lord, his refuge, and prayed for deliverance from his enemies. Look at David’s prayer for salvation in Psalm 143:11: "For Your name's sake, O Lord, preserve my life; in Your righteousness bring me out of trouble." The reason David, and we, can plead this way is that our God is our Savior. Therefore, the God of salvation forgives our sins and saves us when we repent and turn to Him.
(4) David prayed for God to judge his enemies.
Look at Psalm 143:12 in today’s passage: "In Your mercy, cut off my enemies and destroy all those who afflict my soul; for I am Your servant." David prayed for God to cut off and destroy all those who troubled his soul. He could pray this because he was God’s servant. This means that David, as God’s servant, was asking God, in His mercy, to remember and look upon His chosen servant, to save him, and to destroy those who were not His servants. This should be the focus of our prayers as well. We must pray that, according to God’s mercy, His chosen servants will be saved and that those who are not His chosen servants will be destroyed. Therefore, both God’s mercy (love) and justice must be revealed. That is, God’s glory should be made known through salvation and judgment, or salvation through judgment.
I hope that no matter what dire situations we may face, like the psalmist David, we will remember the works of salvation that the Lord has done in the past and, while pleading, experience the grace of God’s salvation.
In remembrance and prayer,
Pastor James Kim
Sharing (Longing for God's Salvation)