Comfort Yourself!

[Psalm 119:49-56]

Today, I read in a Christian newspaper in the U.S. about the division of a large Korean church belonging to the PCUSA denomination. In the PCA denomination, to which our church belongs, a large Korean church has also split, with two congregations now worshiping separately in the same church building. I worry about what will happen to this large PCUSA church in the future. Especially when I think of the brothers and sisters who will be hurt, it is truly heartbreaking. Lately, I have been thinking a lot about this. Instead of being a place of healing, is the church rather becoming a place where people are wounded? Perhaps that’s why I feel now more than ever that we desperately need a comforter like Barnabas, one who is on fire with love.

Personally, I have long prayed to God to make me a "comforter burning with love." However, recently, due to the resignation of our beloved English ministry pastor, I found myself in pain and tears, rejecting any kind of comfort from others. The reason was likely because my heart was so broken and distressed. After going through that process, looking back now in light of today's passage, I find myself asking the question: "How can a pastor cultivate the 'spiritual self-reliance' to comfort himself?" The reason for this is that if a pastor cannot comfort himself, he cannot comfort the flock that the Lord has entrusted to him.

I believe that when a person’s heart is deeply hurt and distressed, they tend to reject any comfort from others. The pain and anguish can become so overwhelming that when we are unable to bear it, we are at risk of giving up completely. There is a natural tendency to fall into a state of despair, becoming more discouraged and disappointed, dwelling in our pain and wounds. However, the surprising thing is that the psalmist, even while in "distress" (Psalm 119:50), "comforted himself" (Psalm 119:52). So today, as I meditate on Psalm 119:49-56, I would like to consider one or two ways in which we can cultivate the spiritual self-reliance to comfort ourselves, just like the psalmist.

First, to cultivate the spiritual self-reliance to comfort ourselves, there is one thing we absolutely must avoid, and that is to allow the proud to speak to our souls.

The psalmist says that the arrogant "greatly mocked" him (Psalm 119:51). What was the evil intention or purpose of those arrogant people? Their goal was to make the psalmist turn away from the Lord’s word (Psalm 119:51). How terrifying is this scheme of Satan? Just like an evil person pulls a fish out of a fish tank to kill it, Satan uses the arrogant to pull us out of the "fish tank" of God’s word and attempts to kill us. When we think about the cruel mocking of the arrogant, I recall Psalm 14:1: "The fool has said in his heart, 'There is no God'..." Particularly, when we are in distress, we foolishly tend to say to our souls, like the mockery of the arrogant, "If God exists, why doesn’t He rescue me from this suffering?" or "Why do I have to experience this pain and these wounds?" In such moments, we see ourselves filled with a sense of victimization. We blame others, our circumstances, and even God. In this way, our pride is revealed in the midst of our difficulties. We doubt the existence of God, reject His helping hand, and allow the pain and circumstances we face to dominate our souls. In the end, we fall into Satan's trap and drift away from the Lord's word in our distress. However, we often don’t see this in the midst of our suffering, and we end up spending our days in numbness, pain, and tears. I speak from personal experience. After the resignation of a dear colleague, I spent days in a daze, overwhelmed with pain and tears. I tried to maintain my prayer and Bible study, but I could not let the Word of God control my heart. I simply passed about three weeks in a dazed state. Ultimately, Satan uses our pain and anguish to make us forget God’s word, leading to symptoms of spiritual dementia. We drift further away from God’s word, making ourselves more discouraged and sorrowful.

Therefore, we must be very careful not to allow the arrogant mocking to speak to our souls. We must guard against it and block it out. Only then can we cultivate the spiritual self-reliance to comfort ourselves.

Lastly, in order to cultivate the spiritual strength to comfort oneself, there are three things we must do:

(1) The first thing we must do is remember the Lord's promised word (119:49, 52, 55).

The psalmist comforted himself by remembering the Lord's "ancient statutes" (v. 52). Here, the "ancient statutes" refer to God's word that has been revealed as true from the beginning and has stood firm (Park Yun-seon). In other words, the psalmist remembered God's promises that had been revealed as true and stood firm throughout his life. For example, we can say that remembering the Lord's promise given to our Victory Presbyterian Church in Matthew 16:18, "I will... build my church..." during times of difficulty, and reflecting on how the Lord has faithfully built the body of Christ, Victory Presbyterian Church, over the past 1 year and 5 months, is an example of this. The psalmist, by looking back, meditated on God's faithfulness in fulfilling His promises, which gave him true comfort for his soul. Thus, the psalmist confessed, "This is my comfort in my affliction, that Your word has given me life" (Psalm 119:50).

When we only look forward, it seems we are busy running without rest. In our pursuit of future goals and success, we often race ahead, and when we face difficulties or adversity like the psalmist, we need to stop and think: "Could it be that through this difficulty, the Lord wants me to stop for a moment and look back to see how He has fulfilled His promises?" We live our lives too focused on what is ahead, rushing forward without thinking. For this reason, I believe the difficulties that the Lord allows are beneficial (Psalm 119:71). It is a time to look back, but not to remember painful wounds or bad memories, but rather to remember the footprints of God's faithful grace. Especially like the psalmist, when "night" comes (v. 55), when our hearts are overwhelmed by pain and suffering, we should hold onto and remember the Lord's promised word even more.

(2) The second thing we must do to cultivate the spiritual strength to comfort ourselves is to hold onto the word of the promise and plead with God.

In today’s passage, Psalm 119:49, the psalmist pleads with the Lord: "Remember the word to Your servant, upon which You have caused me to hope." He remembers the Lord's promised word and, holding onto it, prays, "Lord, do You remember the word You gave me? Please remember it." Of course, our Lord never forgets the promises He has given us. It is simply that we tend to forget them during times of trouble. The reason the psalmist pleads with the Lord to remember His promised word is that, at that moment, the word alone gives him hope. In a way, the light of the promised word seems to shine even more brightly when we are in the midst of severe difficulty and pain, just as light shines more brightly in the deepest darkness. Therefore, like the psalmist, we must kneel in the midst of great pain and suffering, proclaiming the Lord's promised word and acknowledging that there is no hope anywhere else, but only in the Lord and His promises. Having felt the pain of hopelessness through extreme difficulty and suffering, we must confess and approach the Lord, knowing that only He and His word are our hope. In the solitude of our soul, where nothing else can comfort us, we must plead with the words of hope, experiencing the work of the Holy Spirit's revival.

(3) Lastly, the third thing we must do is to keep the Lord's commandments (statutes).

In other words, even when we are in extreme difficulty, we must not depart from the Lord's statutes, but instead, we must keep them more closely. The way to overcome Satan's schemes is not by departing from the word, but by drawing nearer to it, holding onto His promised word, and gaining spiritual power through prayer to take the lead in practicing His word. The psalmist kept the Lord’s law (vv. 55, 56). Moreover, he confessed that keeping the Lord’s statutes was his possession (v. 56). How can we possess God's word? How can we make the word we hear and learn our own? It’s simple: we must live according to it. The psalmist did this in the midst of his troubles. When things are comfortable, we often fail to live according to the Lord's commandments, being led by our sinful nature.

Throughout life, we experience various troubles, pains, and wounds that we give and receive from each other, especially within the church, the body of Christ. However, the sad truth is that we are often unable to make these "difficulties" beneficial. The reason is that, like the psalmist, our spiritual strength to comfort ourselves is weak. We need to cultivate the spiritual strength to comfort ourselves, just as the psalmist did. Therefore, we must live the life of a true comforter, like Barnabas.

With a heart of gratitude to the Lord who gave us the opportunity to cultivate the "spiritual strength to comfort ourselves" through "difficulties,"

Pastor James' Sharing
(After praying during the Wednesday prayer meeting, asking the Lord to raise us up as burning comforters in love.)