“Lord, Remember This”

[Psalm 25:1-7]

I have a memory I can never forget. That memory is about our first child, Ju-Young (Charis). On Sunday, April 29, 1998, after finishing the worship service, I went to the Los Angeles Children’s Hospital where Ju-Young was admitted and met with the doctor in charge. I cannot forget the question the doctor asked me: “Do you want your child to die quickly, or slowly?” The doctor had done his best but there was nothing more he could do, so he asked me this question. At that time, I asked the doctor to let the baby die slowly. Looking back now, I think it was my selfishness as a father, even though the baby must have been in great pain.

The next morning, Monday, April 30, after meditating on Psalm 63:3 with my wife, I went back to the hospital and told the doctor that I wanted Ju-Young to die quickly. That day, after gathering with my parents, my brother and his wife, and my sister to worship God, I held Ju-Young in my arms for the first and last time. And Ju-Young fell asleep in my arms. Today, that memory feels especially painful.

Each of us has our own memories. There may be good memories, but perhaps we have more bad memories: memories of wounds, suffering, and pain. We all have painful past experiences we do not want to remember, wounds we desperately try to forget. We hide those painful memories deep in our hearts and do not want to bring them out. But these memories, which we do not want anyone to see or know, may seem forgotten over time even to ourselves, yet there are times when new painful events bring them back to mind. At those times, we try once again to suppress and forget those memories.

If we live this way, we should listen carefully to what Henri Nouwen said in his book “The Wounded Healer”:
"By refusing to face our painful memories, we lose the opportunity to change our hearts and mature through repentance."

Only those courageous enough to face their wounds and painful memories do not miss the chance to change their hearts, repent, and mature. If we fail to mature, perhaps it is because painful memories still exist deeply in our hearts. Maybe we miss the opportunity to grow and mature because we do not face those memories with repentance.

We must open our closed hearts to God. It can only be opened by faith. Our sinful nature prevents us from opening the door of our hearts to God if we do not believe in His healing power. Therefore, we must first repent of our unbelief in God’s power and open the door of our hearts.

The true process of healing is to remember our painful memories again while constantly connecting them with the painful memories of Jesus.
When we make that connection, the work of healing begins in us.

In Psalm 25:6, the psalmist David prays:
"Lord, remember your mercy and lovingkindness, for they have been from of old."

Have you ever prayed to God saying, “Lord, remember this”? I don’t think I ever have. I find David’s prayer somewhat puzzling.

God is a God full of mercy and abundant lovingkindness, so why does David ask God to remember His mercy and lovingkindness? Why does he pray to the Lord to not forget His mercy and lovingkindness toward him?

The reason is that David himself remembered the Lord’s mercy and lovingkindness. He wanted to receive the Lord’s mercy as he repented of his sins. While praying that he would not receive the punishment he deserved because of his sins, he remembered the Lord’s mercy and longed for God’s forgiveness, remembering God’s lovingkindness.

Then, I would like to reflect on four ways in which those who remember the Lord’s mercy and lovingkindness respond.

First, those who remember the Lord’s mercy and lovingkindness look up to the Lord.

Look at Psalm 25:1: “To You, O Lord, I lift up my soul.” David “looked up” to the Lord in the midst of severe suffering caused by persecution from enemies and deceitful people (verses 2 and 3). Literally, the phrase “I lift up my soul to You” means “I have lifted up my soul to You” (according to Park Yoon Sun). However, this is by no means easy. Dr. Park Yoon Sun said: “Lifting up the soul is not an easy task. Because of the sin deeply ingrained within it, the soul remains in a depressed state, seemingly stuck close to the ground, and cannot turn to God.” I cannot disagree. When the soul cannot turn to God and remains in a depressed state as if stuck close to the ground, what is the problem? It is our sin. Because of our sins, which we do not repent of before the holy God, we cannot lift our soul to God. But the prophet Jonah did lift his soul to God. After confessing “this storm is because of me,” he was thrown into the sea (Jonah 1:12). Then he prayed to God from inside the belly of the great fish (Jonah chapter 2). In Jonah 2:4, Jonah prays: “I said, ‘I have been cast out of Your sight; yet I will look again toward Your holy temple.’” Jonah decided to look to the Lord from inside the great fish. A soul that confesses its sin and repents can, like Jonah, look again to the Lord. But an unrepentant soul not only does not look to the Lord but is unable to do so.

Saying “I lift up my soul to You” means David completely relied on the Lord alone (Psalm 25:2). John Calvin said this about prayer: “The greatest hindrance to prayer is a heart that looks for help from anything other than God, causing it to be unsettled and wavering” (Calvin). When the heart is unsettled, we cannot look up to the Lord because other people or things keep coming to mind besides Him. What is the problem? It is the doubt existing in our hearts. The Apostle James says this about doubt: “But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavers is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed” (James 1:6). So, what does one who trusts the Lord by faith do? He waits for the Lord (Psalm 25:3). Here, waiting for the Lord means patiently waiting. That is, David, while looking up to God, trusted only Him, placing his hope in the Lord and waiting patiently (Park Yoon Sun).

Second, those who remember the Lord’s mercy and lovingkindness desire the Lord’s protection.

Look at Psalm 25:2-3: “O my God, I trust in You; let me not be ashamed; let not my enemies triumph over me. Indeed, none who wait for You shall be ashamed; those who deal treacherously without cause shall be put to shame.” David prayed for the Lord’s protection in a difficult and trying situation where he was persecuted by his enemies and deceivers (verses 2 and 3). Here, asking “let me not be ashamed” means “do not let me fail; that is, protect me” (Park Yoon Sun). David, in a situation of extreme injustice caused by his enemies, pleaded with God to protect and look upon him. David did not try to overcome those who wronged him by his own strength or take any revenge, but relied solely on God. This is the attitude worthy of a believer (Park Yoon Sun). Do we have this attitude as believers? A faith posture that does not seek to repay enemies by one’s own strength but trusts God and wholly commits everything to Him — such a person will not be put to shame by enemies. Rather, God will cause the enemies or the “deceivers without cause,” that is, “those who deceive in vain,” to be put to shame (verse 3, Park Yoon Sun). When our enemies deceive us with lies and bring us into hardship, we may feel a sense of failure. That feeling of failure can manifest as doubt in our hearts, which causes unrest, leading us to rely not on God but on ourselves or others. Therefore, we must pray to God to protect our hearts. We should pray that He guards our hearts so that we do not fall for the lies and deceit of our enemies.

Third, those who remember the Lord’s mercy and kindness desire that the Lord teach them His truth.

Look at Psalm 25:4-5: “Show me Your ways, O Lord; teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation; on You I wait all day long.” David’s enemies (verse 2), that is, the “deceivers without cause” (verse 3), unscrupulously made lies to persecute and overthrow the righteous David. At that time, David not only sought God’s protection but also earnestly asked God to teach him His way (verse 4). Here, “Your way,” “Your path,” and “Your truth” all mean the same thing: the will of the Lord. Our enemy Satan uses lies and deception to confuse us about the Lord’s will. Satan causes his servants to confuse us regarding God’s will. Therefore, we urgently need the Lord’s mercy and kindness. How often do we confuse the Lord’s will and act according to our own will? That is why we absolutely need the Lord’s mercy. And like David, we also absolutely need God’s kindness because God, in His kindness, shows (teaches) us His will. To know the Lord’s will, we need God’s revelation (verse 4). If God does not reveal the meaning of His Word so that we can understand it, we cannot comprehend it. In Matthew 16:17, after hearing Peter’s confession, Jesus says that it was the Father in heaven who revealed it to Peter, so Peter confessed, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.” Without God’s teaching, we cannot understand the Lord’s will (Psalm 25:4-5). Therefore, David prayed, “Teach me Your way, O Lord; I will walk in Your truth; unite my heart to fear Your name” (Psalm 86:11). God must guide us so that we may understand the Lord’s will (25:5).

Lastly, fourthly, those who remember the Lord’s mercy and lovingkindness desire that their sins be forgiven.

Look at Psalm 25:7:
“Do not remember the sins of my youth or my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you, Lord, are good.”
In the midst of persecution by his enemies, David looked to God and even recalled the sins of his youth, lamenting and repenting before God. Persecution and hardship actually lead us to come closer to God. And as we come before Him, our sins are exposed in His holy presence. Not only our current sins but also the sins of our youth are revealed. That is why David prayed, asking God to remember His mercy and lovingkindness.

In Lü Guolong’s Looking from One Step Back, there is a passage that says:
“Only remember the thankful things. Strangely, the things that hurt us because of others are hard to forget, but the things we are thankful to others for are quietly forgotten. Conversely, we tend to remember for a long time the things we have done for others but easily forget the times we have hurt them. If we remember the help and grace received from others and forget our resentment toward others, life will be much freer. Life is too short not to live remembering only the thankful things.”

Let us all live remembering God’s mercy and lovingkindness.
Let us live looking only to the Lord.
Let us come forward praying for the Lord’s protection, for Him to teach us His truth, and to forgive our sins.

Remembering God’s mercy and lovingkindness,

Pastor James Kim
(With a grateful heart for being able to live 9 years of married life through God’s mercy and lovingkindness)