God the Father who cannot refuse

the prayer of the desire of my heart

“May He grant you according to your heart’s desire, and fulfill all your plans” (Psalm 20:4), “He has granted the desires of his heart, and has not withheld the request of his lips” (Psalm 21:2).

Yesterday, Thursday, I met with four friends whom I had not seen for a long time. Three of them are friends I have known since middle school, after I immigrated to the United States when I was 12 years old. Another friend has been a friend for a long time as well; he is one year older than me and was the first person for whom I officiated a wedding. After a long time apart, we met, had lunch together, played nine-ball pool, had dinner together, and then went bowling. I think this was the first time the five of us bowled together.

The reason we gathered yesterday was because we found out that one of these four friends is going through some difficulties. So I called another friend to suggest that we help the friend who is struggling, and that friend arranged the meeting yesterday. Although it was not easy to have a serious conversation, during dinner God gave me a bold heart, and I courageously shared my heart with my friends. Since I spoke very seriously, they didn’t drink much and listened attentively.

I shared with these four beloved friends the earnest desire of my heart — the salvation of their souls. My wife also knows of this desire I have for these friends. I told my friends that shortly after marrying my wife, after seeing them, I came home at 3 a.m. and found my wife still awake, and that we talked about the salvation of my friends until 6 a.m. for three hours. I also told them that because I habitually pray for my friends, my heart is often broken, and I intentionally met with them to deepen this. Furthermore, I told them that after meeting and parting with them, I cried a lot alone while driving home.

In some ways, sharing these things in a setting of eating and drinking could have disrupted the mood. Nevertheless, my friends continued to listen to the desires of my heart. In the past, there might have been various reactions or behaviors, but yesterday my friends listened seriously to the story of my heart’s desire.

I told them that we can be eternal friends in Jesus and shared my heart’s wish to be such eternal friends. I also mentioned that, from the perspective of death, time does not seem to be very long. I simply told them that I sincerely want my friends to believe in Jesus and serve together in the Lord’s church. I let them know that this is the desire of my heart.

Afterward, I invited these friends to the evangelistic meeting, “New Life Festival,” held at our church this Saturday at 6 p.m. I asked them to definitely come. And I will ask again today.

Yesterday, I took all my friends to one friend’s house (since we had parked all the cars inside that friend’s house and I was driving my own car), and then I came back home. I arrived home around 10 PM. The children were asleep, and my wife welcomed me warmly. Even though I stayed with my friends until late and didn’t call my wife even once, she knew my heart’s desire for my friends and knew I was with them, so she deliberately did not call me for my sake.

I shared with my wife the events of the day and the parts where I felt God was hearing and answering our prayers. One friend was given by God a junior believer in Jesus, and promised that once the big problem they are facing is resolved, he would start going to church. Another friend started working at a new job, where the boss is a church deacon, and this boss keeps witnessing to him. Another friend sends her three-year-old daughter to the church kindergarten, and although the daughter doesn’t learn children’s songs, she continues learning hymns or gospel songs, so the friend decided to send her to church. I also heard yesterday that another friend’s family members are diligently attending the Catholic church.

Seeing this, I remembered that I have been praying for over 20 years for the salvation of my friends’ souls, and many times I wondered, “How long?” (Psalm 13:1-2). But now I realize that God the Father has been answering the prayers of my heart’s desire. This morning, during the early morning prayer meeting, meditating on Psalm 20:4 and 21:2, I understood this more clearly and certainly.

I realized that my God is a Father who cannot refuse the prayer of the desire of my heart. I realized that God the Father, who loves me so much that He gave His only Son Jesus on the cross, is a loving God who cannot refuse the prayer of the desire of my heart. When I felt the heart of God the Father in meditation and prayer, my heart was deeply moved. When I felt God’s loving heart that does not reject the prayer of my heart’s desire, my heart was filled with gratitude and comfort.

As a human, I could not understand how God could love me so generously. I only wanted to lean on God the Father. And before God the Father, I began to dream. I began to dream big dreams. Dreams that humans cannot achieve, but only God can accomplish.

This dream has become the prayer of my heart’s desire. The dream is that just as Calvin Christianized Geneva, I will Christianize the city led by the Lord through university roommates God allowed me to meet, friends who will believe in Jesus in the future, and precious meetings God has allowed. It is a dream to build a Christ-centered community with churches, Christian schools, Christian hospitals, Christian law offices, and so on. The Lord will raise up workers with Christ-centered dreams through us and send them out to the world to expand God’s kingdom.

I had this dream when I first went to Korea in 1995. When I returned to the U.S., I invited my university roommates to our church and shared this dream with them. However, after many years, since none of us were dreaming the dream, I seemed to have given up or resigned and stopped praying well.

But now, during the early morning prayer meeting, I have begun to dream again. Recently, while praying to God about this dream, I have experienced my heart becoming warm and excited. I also see that my prayer attitude has changed from passive to more active.

This is because now I look to God the Father instead of looking at myself, my university roommates, or the situation. God is helping me to know more of God the Father’s heart, so I have begun to pray more actively and to dream.

Only God can accomplish this great dream, so I just pray. I pray knowing and believing that God is the One who cannot refuse the prayer of my heart’s desire, so I pray only to God. I pray that only God’s glory will be revealed.

“All the desires of my prayers are to become like Jesus. To wear the image of Jesus, I give up and spare not the treasures of the world. I want to resemble Jesus, the Jesus who redeemed me. Come now soon and imprint the Lord’s image upon my heart.”
(Hymn No. 505, verse 1 and chorus).

With a deep longing to learn the heart of God the Father,

Shared by Pastor James Kim
(Praying to enter the New Life Festival with God’s heart that loves every single soul).