A Family that Praises God the Father with a Grateful Heart (2)

[Colossians 3:18-21]

Women of faith, the Word of God is clear. The Word of God instructs you to submit to your husbands (Col. 3:18; Eph. 5:22; 1 Pet. 3:1, 5). Why should you submit to your husbands? The Bible provides three reasons:

(1) It is because the husband is the head of the wife.

Ephesians 5:23 states, “For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church ….” This Scripture teaches us about the role or position of the husband in the home. This role or position means that the husband is the head of the wife. Additionally, this scripture implies that there should be order in the home by clearly defining the husband's position. When a wife acknowledges her husband’s position as "the head" and recognizes him as the leader of the household, she helps to uphold his self-esteem. This is one of the important responsibilities of a wife. In the book New Family Acts by Pastor Dong-won Lee, there is a survey that reveals that the most important need men have from their wives is a sense of self-respect. A wise wife acknowledges her husband's role as the head and leader of the family, thus fulfilling his need for self-respect by submitting to him.

(2) It is because wives are to submit to their husbands because it is fitting in the Lord.

Colossians 3:18 says, “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” Our God is not a God of disorder but of peace (1 Cor. 14:33). Therefore, in a household established by the Lord, there is not disorder but peace. In other words, a home with peace has order. To maintain that order, each person in the household must faithfully and humbly fulfill their biblical responsibilities. For the wife, this responsibility is to submit to her husband. The Bible states that this is what is fitting in the eyes of the Lord. It is the wife's duty. Submitting to her husband as unto the Lord is appropriate and expected in the family system established by the Lord.

(3) It is to lead an unbelieving husband to salvation.

1 Peter 3:1 says, “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands, so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives.” Many believing wives with unbelieving husbands are diligent in church life but neglect their home life. They may be exemplary within the church, but fail to be so at home. This reflects an imbalanced Christian life. What should be done? A wise wife is an example not only in the church but especially at home. By submitting to her unbelieving husband as she would to the Lord, she sets an example in the home as well. Dr. Yoon-sun Park said: ‘An unbelieving husband might come to understand the truth of the gospel and repent when he sees the piety of his wife. This is the practical preaching of God’s gospel. Our gospel witness is ineffective if it does not accompany our good conduct’ (Park). A wise wife does not merely talk about the gospel. She does not simply tell her unbelieving husband to go to church. Instead, she demonstrates the truth of the gospel by submitting to her husband as unto the Lord. She shows Jesus Christ through her life. Therefore, the Lord uses her to bring salvation to her unbelieving husband.

So how does a wise wife submit to her husband? The Bible provides two key instructions:

(1) A wise wife submits to her husband as she would to the Lord.

Ephesians 5:22b and 24a say: “Submit to your own husbands as you do to the Lord” (v. 22b), “Now as the church submits to Christ” (v. 24a). Why should a wife submit to her husband as to the Lord? The reason is that the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church (v. 23). The term “husband” in Hebrew means “baal” or “lord,” and in Greek, it translates to “lord” or “man above.” This implies that the husband is to be a caring and gentle leader in the home. Apostle Peter says, “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands” (1 Pet. 3:1). The phrase “in the same way” refers to the submission of servants to their masters as described in 1 Peter 2:18. Sarah also referred to her husband Abraham as “lord” and submitted to him (v. 6; Gen. 18:12). A wise wife recognizes that her husband is established by the Lord as the head of the family and therefore acknowledges his authority and submits to him. This submission involves listening attentively to her husband. The term “submission” itself is derived from a combination of two words: the preposition meaning “under” and the concept of “listening well.” Therefore, submitting to her husband primarily means listening carefully to him and acknowledging his authority (Lee).

(2) A wise wife submits to her husband out of reverence for Christ.

Ephesians 5:21a says: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” In other words, just as Christ emptied himself (Phil. 2:7) and humbled himself by becoming obedient to death (v. 8) with a humble heart (v. 3), a wise wife, following the example of Jesus, submits to her husband out of reverence for the Lord.

So, in what should a wife submit to her husband?  She should submit in everything. Ephesians 5:24b states: “… wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”

What is the difference between a good wife and a bad wife? A good wife satisfies her husband, while a bad wife causes her husband to become silent. A truly perfect wife does not expect a perfect husband. A wise wife, through her submission, effectively influences her husband (Internet). I hope you will become a wise wife who submits to your husband with reverence for the Lord, just as you do to the Lord.

The renowned evangelist Billy Graham had a remarkable wife, Ruth Graham, who supported him excellently through prayer. Once, a Christian journalist asked her: ‘Mrs. Ruth Graham, you’ve been the wife of a pastor who is considered one of the greatest revivalists after the Apostle Paul for decades. Over those many years, have you ever thought about divorce?’ Ruth Graham replied, ‘No, never! But I have thought about it almost every day!’ The curious journalist asked, ‘What do you mean by that?’ Ruth Graham smiled and said, ‘Murder… murder!’ Have there been times when you, as a wife, have felt so angry with your husband that you wanted to kill him? 1 John 3:15 says: “Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer ….”