Forgiveness

Ephesians 4:32 – “Be kind and compassionate to one another,

forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

I find it difficult to forgive.  Although I intellectually understand that I should forgive my spouse who has wronged me, my heart refuses to forgive.  Honestly, there are times when I don't even want to forgive her.  Especially when I think about how she treated me, it makes me so angry, and sometimes I even feel the desire to treat her the same way.  Yet, I endure.  The Bible says, 'Love is patient' (1 Cor. 13:4), so I try to be patient again and again.  However, she continues to hurt my heart.  Despite everything, she does not seek forgiveness from me.  No, it seems like she doesn't even feel the need to ask for forgiveness.  Perhaps she doesn’t even realize that she has hurt my feelings.  Consequently, she acts as if nothing happened, both in words and actions.  I find it unbearable and dislike that aspect of her so much.  Therefore, I do not want to forgive.

When a couple lives together, they inevitably make numerous mistakes toward each other.  No, it's more accurate to say that couples can't help but make countless mistakes toward each other.  The differences in their personalities, upbringing, and the influence each received from their respective parents can lead to impulses and conflicts resulting in wrongdoing.  However, the fundamental cause is that two sinners come together, marry, and form a household.  Think about it.  When two sinners come together, marry, and form a household, how can they not wrong each other?  Not only do we wrong each other, but we also commit countless sins against each other.  However, the problem is that even after committing so many wrongs and sins against each other, we fail to forgive each other.  Even when we forgive, we do not do so as much as we have wronged and sinned against each other.  We are slow to forgive, and at times, we outright refuse to forgive.  Living in this way, where we do not fully forgive each other, leaves wounds and bitterness in our hearts.  These wounds and bitterness prevent us from loving our spouses wholeheartedly.